We owned a number of sailboats over the years, and among other things, we found that the worst boaters were power boaters on the water on Memorial Day, July 4, and Labor Day - it seemed those were the only times they launched. In our experience, many of them had no concept of “rules of the road” as applied to boating, nor did they know that each boater is responsible for any damage caused by their vessel’s wake. Plus, well, alcohol.
On top of that, pretty much anyone can buy a boat and go out on the water without any training. How hard can it be, right?? I know some states require boater safety training, but that doesn’t stop anyone from buying and launching.
Politics aside, this was an exercise in stupidity, IMHO.
The fucking idiots did the same thing to some innocent by-boaters couple weeks ago here in Portland. They seem to really like going past at that perfect speed (seems to be around 15-20 mph) where the bow stays up and the wake is the hugest. As a kayaker, I personally wish these shitfucks would all basically drown themselves as quickly as possible because they really DON’T understand wake rules–for instance, here in Oregon motorboats are required to go no-wake if they’re within 100 feet of anchored boats or non-motorized craft. Yet if you go out on the Willamette on any weekend day in summer in your kayak or canoe and you’re trying to paddle on a narrower bit of river (along which, if you’re south of Willamette Falls, there are personal docks every few hundred feet along most banks of the river) it is an ironclad guarantee that at least five fucking asshole stinkpots per hour will go blasting by at full speed, WAY within that 100 feet of both you AND the anchored boats in the personal docks and probably towing some other braindead asshole on a tube or skis or some such shit. It is also guaranteed that nobody in that boat will be wearing a life jacket and beer will be in hand for every fucking person noticeably over the age of ten or so. I really love our lakes that don’t allow motorized craft and it’s telling that the fucking stinkpot owners try every fucking year to get those lakes opened up to their particular brand of shitheadedness.
And I say this as someone who learned to drive a motorboat at about age six or so. These people are stupid and they suck.
We need to celebrate the names of this amazing parade:
Dumbkirk (as noted)
Operation Pettycrook
The Floundering Fathers
The Sinking of the Losertania
The Titanic Parade
The Blue Wave
How the GOP got wake
The klannish Armada
^^“I don’t know what happened, I just think we just had too many MAGA flags on the boat, I never thought I’d say that, but we had too many MAGA flags on the boat…”
“if I’m not going to wear a mask I’m damn sure not going to wear that life jacket they keep throwing at me…”
Easily explained by the fact that most police are Trump supporters and let their politics influence their work. This also explains a lot of the police’s actions (or lack of action) during BLM protests, especially when there’s a counter protest by Prayer Boys or whatever they call themselves.
I know some states require boater safety training, but that doesn’t stop anyone from buying and launching.
