My friend Donna tells me this one: A hitchhiker was picked up by a trucker calling himself “Joe” in a rig called “Phantom 309,” who dropped him at a coffee shop. When he gave the guy behind the counter “Joe’s” dime for coffee, the guy looked at him in disbelief, because everyone knows coffee doesn’t cost a dime anymore.
The woman who did it (and her husband) pleaded guilty in court, and was sentenced to prison for it. She was released from jail a couple of years ago.
I bought an exotic house plant at a nursery and took it home. The next day it was full of baby spiders!
They ate all the aphids on the plant and then died for lack of food. The plant is flourishing.
If you eat Pop Rocks and wash them down witrh soda, you’ll probably burp.
Hair on you palms indicates that you’ve been petting the cat. Or are a vampire.
I’ll say.
On November 13, 1966, after a late night of work at Abbey Road Studios helping John Lennon, George Martin, and Geoff Emerick mix the stereo tracks for “Penny Lane” and “Strawberry Fields”, Paul McCartney crashed on his couch. The next morning he felt quite refreshed.
After he died, Walt Disney’s body was preserved with embalming chemicals and put in a concrete vault.
If you freeze your DVD in the correct place, there is a frame of a naked woman visible in the movie*** Deep Throat***.
The old Proctor and Gamble corporate logo showing a crescent moon and 13 stars is a secret example of some really hokey artwork.
Some more Amazing Hollywood Stories:
Norma Shearer gave a “white ball” every year and requested that guests only wear white. In 1936, Carole Lombard showed up in a lovely white dress by Travis Banton, and everyone complimented her on it.
At Mae West’s autopsy, it was revealed that she actually had advanced heart disease.
Jean Harlow bleached her hair platinum blonde for so long, that eventually she got tired of it and went back to her natural color.
If you freeze-frame on the Witch’s Forest in The Wizard of Oz, in the background you can see a prop man.
If you are pregnant, and you mix your urine with Drano, it will be likely to make a hazardous mess, and could release harmful fumes. Get a CVS, amniocentesis, or ultrasound if you want to know the sex of the baby.
If you mix a pregnant woman’s urine with Drano, the color it changes will correctly predict the sex of the baby on average 50% of the time.
(Note: I have actually seen this presented in this form in a book. It was either really stupid or really clever.)
The young girl was swept off her feet by the whirlwind romance during Spring Break. By the end of the week, she just knew she was going to marry the handsome young man she had met… and so, even though she had decided to save her virginity for the marriage bed, she slept with him on thier last night together.
In the morning, she awoke, and was horrified to find the young man was gone, leaving only a note that said, “Welcome to the world of A…MWAY.”
Yes, she had lost her virginity to an Amway recruiter.
The best way to pass a drug test is to not use the drugs they are testing for for long enough that the drugs and their metabolites have been cleared from your system.
A little girl was in bed, and heard a scary, dripping noise. She put her hand over the edge of the bed, and her dog licked it. This reassured her that everything must be okay. Throughout the night, she kept hearing the noises, putting her hand over the edge of the bed, and getting it licked by the dog. When morning came, she got up and went into the bathroom, and saw that the shower head was leaking. The dog bounded into the bathroom and started drinking the water from the floor of the shower.
A female college student, call her A, was living in a dorm, and her roommate, B, went out for the evening. A went to bed before B came home. Later on, A was awakened by someone knocking on her door. She got scared, and hid in the closet until morning. In the morning, she found a very pissed off note from B pushed under the door, asking if A was deaf or something. B had forgotten to take her keys when she went out, and was locked out of the room when she came back. She had gone to spend the rest of the night with a friend down the hall.
I’m going to go with “both”.
A duck’s quack does not echo in a soundproofed room.
A woman volunteered to help out in her child’s classroom. She got to the training session early. She went to the washroom. When she came back, someone had written on the white board, “Welcome to the world of AIDES!”
A woman took her 3 year old son to McDonald’s. After he ate his Happy Meal, the mother gave him permission to play in the ball pit.
After a few minutes, the little boy started to cry. The mother looked him over and found that his ankle was tender. He had sprained it when he jumped into the ball pit.
Mr. Rogers once read a book about a sniper in Vietnam.
So these students at FOAF University go out partying the night before an exam, and end up over-sleeping. They tell the professor that they really tried to be on time, but they got a flat tire on the way to school. The professor says, “Nice try.”
Also at FOAF U., a music major was told to write his own symphony for the final exam. The student goes into the school library and finds a symphony his teacher wrote when he was a student. The student copies it down backwards and hands it in. The teacher looks at it and says, “What’s this garbage?”
A psychic allegedly went on TV and predicted that a serial killer was would strike at a Midwestern university on Halloween night.
No one believed the story, and no one was killed.
The actor who played Eddie Haskell on Leave It to Beaver ended up playing Eddie Haskell in the two sequel series (Disney’s Still the Beaver and Turner’s The New Leave It to Beaver).
If you select “C” as every answer in the multiple-choice sections of the SAT, you’ll get about 80% of the answers wrong.