Rod Stewart, that wild man, passes time while touring building models for his model railroad.
This is absolutely true, and I can show you the feature in Model Railroader on his layout.
The government has stockpiled barricades and “DO NOT ENTER” signs in thousands of locations around the country. They are to be used by highway departments in the event of road construction.
Black helicopters are seen in the skies of America every day. It’s because the manufacturer painted them black.
While in the parking lot of a shopping mall, a woman saw a man concealed under a car. Fearing he was about to slash her ankles with a razor and steal her packages, she shrieked.
The man jumped, hit his head on the undercarriage of the car and was knocked unconscious. It turns out that it was his car and he was underneath it checking out a leak. He eventually sued the woman and the shopping mall for ten million dollars, but lost.
Large feet and hands are indicators the man with them will have large shoes and gloves.
The Aztec calendar only tracked through December 21,2012. This means that they didn’t care to make their calendars any larger.
A man who owned an expensive sports car was obsessed with protecting it against thieves. So he chained the axle to a set of giant bolts inside his garage and locked it with three giant padlocks. The next day he woke up and found a note on the driver’s seat saying, “Why did you chain the car up this way? I missed my PTA meeting you idiot!” The note was from his wife.
The CIA compiles detailed files about the personal lives of important foreign officials.
Once a man was visiting New York City. He went to a trendy nightclub, and met a beautiful woman. She invited him to her hotel room, and he wanted to have sex with her, but she was way out of his league and told him to leave. So he went back to his hotel room, masturbated, and went to sleep. The next day he woke up and took a ice-cold bath and went back home to his small town.
:p. Hey, when I first whipped out that synthesizer, the nerd chicks went wild.
At the height of the cold war, Russian technicians were experimenting with steel fibers so thin they were almost invisible to the naked eye. They produced a perfectly formed thin steel rod and presented it to the USA as a demonstration of their superiority.
The USA scientists formed a committee to study the Russian gift, and determined that it was an impressive feat of engineering but ultimately of no practical industrial use whatsoever, and went back to compiling the largest, most sophisticated collection of intercontinental nuclear missiles in the world.
Wallace “Big Juicy” Greene, a small time meth cook, came up with the idea of adding sugar and food coloring to his product in order to make it more attractive to school children. He set the idea aside when his fellow conspirators pointed out that they were trying to make money, not scare the bejesus out of suburban parents.
On a related note, USA scientists came up with a pen that would write perfectly in zero g conditions. They showed it to the Russians as a sign of American technological superiority.
The Russians were impressed.
The UN has formed its own army. However, it’s not a real army. It’s a collection of soldiers from around the world who remain members of their respective armed forces. They deploy to support peace keeping missions in war torn regions.
In the movie Three Men and a Baby, if you look carefully during the party scene you will see a guest by the window.
A workman came to lay carpet in a house. When he was finished, he noticed a lump underneath the carpet, so he took a hammer and pounded it flat.
As he was leaving, the lady of the house asked if he had seen her kitten. He said no, so she showed it to him. It was mighty cute.
A man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against (get this) fire! Within a month, having suffered an unfortunate house fire which destroyed (among other things) his humidor, the man filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars “in a single large fire.” The insurance company investigated and paid.
A man was falling asleep when he noticed a strange light in the sky.
Suddenly he was ‘somewhere else’, surrounded by aliens…
John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn’t, the girl with the rose.
His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner’s name, Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II. During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding.
Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn’t matter what she looked like. When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7:00 PM at the Grand Central Station in New York. “You’ll recognize me,” she wrote, “by the red rose I’ll be wearing on my lapel.”
So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he’d never seen. A young woman was coming toward him, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. He started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As he moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips. “Going my way, sailor?” she murmured. Almost uncontrollably he made one step closer to her, and then he saw Hollis Maynell. She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes.
The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. He felt as though he were being split in two, so keen was he desire to follow the girl, yet so deep was his longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned and upheld his own. And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. He did not hesitate. His fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify him to her. This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which he had been and must ever be grateful. He squared his shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while he spoke he felt choked by the bitterness of his disappointment. “I’m Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must by Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?”
The woman turned on him. “The young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should go and tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test.”
John winced. “Wow - manipulative bitch, huh?”
The plump woman nodded. “Can you imagine how used I’m feeling right now?”
John apologized and went to find a hooker.
Alice Cooper watched Leave it to Beaver when he was a child.
After set designers carefully arranged the look of the room, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were filmed by television cameras at CBS Studios in New York, for an interview with Walter Cronkite.
The Federal Government has a division (Dept. of Defense) In charge of maintaining and instructing people in the use of “Fallout Shelters”. Even though it has had nothing to do (since 1963), it still has a full budget and employs thousands of people (the employees spend their days surfing the net and playing video games).