Read the nonsense:Muslim Cleric's Warning: Cucumbers Too Sexy for Women | Fox News
My first reaction: this must be a hoax.
But, on second thought-this might be a good thing-it will make people question this style of Islam.
Just what does it take to become a “Muslim Cleric”?
If this thread is any indication, cucumbers are too sexy for most people, much less women.
Reminds me of Superbad where Jonah Hill mentions he couldn’t eat any dick-shaped foods as a kid (all the good ones!).
If I were a Muslim woman, I would just respond: “Ishh okay… I crushhed it up an’ made cuucumber vodka! Hic!” I’m sure they would be okay now that it’s not phallic. And obviously that wouldn’t fly in places like Turkey, where you couldn’t get cacık (tzatziki) anymore
Oh god, you made me look at FoxNews.com!
There’s a joke about my ex-husband and baby carrots around here somewhere, but I’m too lazy to look for it.
Alignment Lawful Good, gets power from Allah, must be either human, elf, or dwarf
Cucumber? Ah, to be so young again! The experienced eventually move on to Goya.
I don’t play table top role playing games, but I got that joke, and it made me laugh. Good one.
What about pickles then.
Holy shit – so is that why they’re called ‘dilldos’?!
Gherkin rhymes with jerkin’. Curious.
Same here. 
Quite likely about the same things it takes to become a man of the cloth in The Land of the Free - nice hair, an Armani suit, and gullible parishioners.
Ex cucumber cleaner, sorter and packer checking in. Probably one in a hundred cucumbers are sexy, cucumbers are mostly funny. I packed cucumbers in Greece with a band of gypsies (really), us ladies did the actual handling and the blokes moved the boxes. Now and again one of the women had to be removed from our group for excessive giggling.
Would this qualify as a “Cucumber Fatwa”?
Cucumbers have no fat, wha?
This man clearly has no idea how the average woman thinks. I would do a poll but I won’t… women: if you see something vaguely phallic-shaped, do you immediately respond by getting horny and wanting to have sex? Or do you just shrug and say “huh. Phallic shaped.” and move on? Or more likely, not even notice the shape? I think this whole thing says a LOT more about this “Muslim cleric” than it does about Muslim women and their relationship with food.*
*I’m not saying that no women have ever masturbated with these types of food–I know they have. But it’s not the immediate thought most have, I don’t think, upon seeing/handling said foods.
I would appreciate if you did that poll and made it so I could see who responded and how they responded.
Could be very useful.
I don’t think I’ve ever referred to a cylinder-ish food as phallic, unless it was really really obvious. I don’t have sexy thoughts about food. I’m much more likely to call something ‘boobic’ (if there’s a proper word for that, I don’t want to know.) But that’s because it’s funny.
Right, so my basic point stands: you’re not likely to look at the shape of a food item and think “oooh sex!” right?
So did he warn the male members of his congregation to stay out of donut shops?