“Mommy what’s that on your face?”
“What’s what on my face?”
“That thing on your face?”
That “thing” is a mutant, five inch long, Broomhilda-looking hair growing out of my chin. I attack it with all the malice the vile thing deserves and clip the ugly thing at its root. That was a week ago. Today I’m brushing my teeth and I catch a glimpse in the mirror and. . . OH MY GOD! There it is again, all freakin five inches of it! It won’t leave me. It is haunting me, mocking me, making me look bad in front of family and strangers alike.
My knees are a wreck, my kidneys are passed their freshness date, my blood has forgotten how to function correctly, but this. . . this bodily insult is just beyond the fucking pail.
Being stuck at home and mostly immoble is doing things to my mind, I think
The thread title reminds me of the Montel Williams book, “Mountain, Get Out of my Way”. Just thought I’d share that.
There’s a hair that grows on the top of my ear. I dunno why. I understand hair growing around the ear canal, even on the earlobes themselves. But my wayward hair has chosen to put its roots down on the top of my ear. Pushing against the hair growing out of my scalp, which tends to barely touch the top of my ear, since I keep it cut sorta short.
I have plucked this hair many, many times. It always comes back. In a way, it’s comforting. I have named it Ralph. Occasionally I will chat with it, as with an old friend.
Maybe you could name your hair Ruth? Our hairs could perhaps date, and maybe even marry. We could be the progenitors of a race of super-hairs. “Look on my works, ye hairy, and despair!”
Having ear hair and eyebrow hair cannot compare to the pain and suffering caused by Broomhilda chin hair-- or, more correctly, the Michael Meyers of Broomhilda chin hair.
The wart is next, I’m sure. And then it’s just a short hop to a three inch skin tag on my nose and nipple hair.
I have a friend who gets these oddly long white hairs (he is an otherwise dark-skinned black-haired boy) in weird, hairless places. He calls them “magic hairs” and believes they make him special. Maybe you need to embrace the hair?
Or, you could shave it off, so it grows in with a nice sharp point. Instead of tying a pesky string on your finger, you can pierce post-it notes with your hair, so you won’t forget things.
I have a hair that grows out of my neck. It has been there for over 10 years, I am sure. Right on the middle of my neck, on the right side.
I have a few errant hairs on my chin and jaw (usually no more than 2—they come and go) and these irritate me, but the NECK HAIR is just too much. And it will not die!
I remember I first discovered it years ago, when I was mindlessly stroking my neck. I found a hair, and followed it and followed it and followed it… I could not believe what I discovered. It was probably 8 in. to a foot long! It had been growing forever and I never noticed it! (It wasn’t a very dark hair.) But who looks for errant mutant hairs on their NECK?
Ever since then, I have to keep constant tabs on it. It takes a while to grow up, and sometimes I’ll think it’s gone for good. But then one day I’ll feel it. It’s now darker and sometimes a little more wirey, but somehow I’ll miss detecting it until it is easily an inch long and apparently quite visible to everyone. Oh, how I hate that hair. And what others must see? “Did you see that big long hair growing out of her neck?” It is just too bizarre.
I have 4-5 of these hairs growing on my elbows. Yes, folks, I look like a man. A wimpy lily-white soft kind of man who is unable to grow proper eyebrows but can grow pubic hair on his elbows.
It’s bad enough to have dark hairs on your chin, because you can pluck them while they’re relatively short. When you get older and the hairs turn white, it’s easy to lose track of them until they grow to 3-4 inches and everyone else can take bets on how long they’ll grow until you get a clue and pluck them.
