An obnoxious teen rant, :rolleyes: my God that would be new and different!:rolleyes:
Or it could be that nobody gives a shit, you know? :wally:
I’m not sure whether or not they have those paper crowns at the local BK. Do you get one with the order of a child’s meal or are they stacked on the front counter so that anyone can take one? To tell you the truth, I don’t think I’ve seen them at any BK I’ve been to. I’m a deprived child. 
Nope, they’re pretty much there for the taking for anyone. We used to use a Burger King crown as the Asshole crown whenever we played Asshole (and I usually ended up wearing it because I was never any good at the goddamn game!)
If they were really only intended for five year olds, then why are they big enough for teenagers’ heads?
Now, there you go. Cutting right to the heart of the issue. Very nicely done, Kathleen. And welcome to the Boards, if you haven’t been welcomed already.
Perhaps you are spending too much time at BK. If you are seeing this happen that much, maybe it’s Fortune’s way of telling you that you need to start eating at home more. Take some cooking classes, get a wok and stir-fry some things. Cook up a big-ol Cajun feast, grab a beer, and sit down in the quiet of your own home. And it’s likely healthier too - I mean good Goddess, it’s not like they won’t be dredging those onion rings and Whoppers out of your arteries in about 10 years anyhow… 
Terrorist attacks, global warming, the ozone layer, environmental destruction, pestilence, famine, drought…
Forget about it.
It’s those teens at Burger King. Isn’t it awful how they carry on?
And what’s up with this can of alphabet soup? I hardly got any vowels this time.
I think I’ll start a pit rant about that.
Good ol’ Bossk. The Andy Rooney of the SDMB.
“Didja ever notice how bad Batman was? I hate that.”
Maybe I’m out of the loop, but what the HELL is Asshole? Doesn’t sound like the kind of game I wanna play!!
Someone fill me in?
‘Asshole’ is a drinking/card game that no 2 people on the face of the planet play in exactly the same way. Some people even know it by a completely different name; ‘President’. You can sit down and drink for about three hours just in negotiating exactly which rules you will play by, i.e. Do the Pres. and Asshole trade cards? If so, 1 or 2?, etc., thus making it ideal for parties. Still, it’s a fun game.
Teenagers acting stupid to impress girls! As a 16 year-old, I can assure you that such behaviour is definitely not natural!
Gee, August, you only confused the issue.
Explain the rules as you know them, please.
Ok, this is probably going to be the longest post I have ever typed.
How to play ‘Asshole’*
Basic Rules
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Deal out all of the cards in a standard deck to the players.
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The first round begins with the player holding the 3 of spades leading that card.
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The player to the left of the first player now must lay a 3 or higher. Suits do not mean anything in this game.
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Play progresses in this manner. Each player must match or beat the card laid by the player before him. If he can not match or beat the card before his, he says “pass” and takes a drink.
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The first player to have no cards remaining in his hand is the ‘President’. The last player with cards in his hand is the ‘Asshole’.
Where it gets tricky
3a) The player to the left of player 1 can also lay a pair of cards. A pair of anything beats any single card (except a 2, but we’ll get to that later). Example: Player 1 (P1) lays a 3, Player 2 (P2) lays a 9, P3 lays a Queen, P4 lays a pair of 7’s.
Player 5 must now lay a pair of 7’s or higher or ‘pass’. Higher would be, for example, a pair of 10’s, or three 4’s, in which case the next player must lay three matching higher cards or ‘pass’.
3b If you match the card (or cards) of the player before you, the next player’s turn is skipped over, and he must take a drink.
3c) 2’s are trump. If a player lays a 2, the cards on the table are swept aside and a new round begins. The player that laid the 2 leads the new round with any card he desires.
4a) If a player lays a card that everyone else passes on, when the turn comes back around to that player the cards are swept and a new round begins with that player leading any card they wish.
Other rules, including where more drinking comes in
Any player that ran out of cards before you did is a higher rank than you, and can make you drink any time they desire during the next hand.
The Asshole’s job is to deal the hand and to sweep the cards at the end of each round. Quickness at the latter task is highly encouraged, otherwise players are apt to make the asshole drink for failing to sweep in a timely manner.
During the deal, the Asshole holds absolute power. No player may touch his cards until the asshole picks up his hand. Violations are punished with drinks. During the deal is the only time the Asshole can make anyone drink, as soon as the Asshole picks up his hand, power reverts to the President.
If you are the ‘President’ three hands in a row, you can make a rule. Any rule you desire, however, you are bound by that same rule. Violations of the rule are, of course, punished with drinks.
*these are the rules as played by my circle of friends, please do not become incensed if the way we play is different in some regard than it is played in your heathen neck of the woods.
Hey. I’m 23 and I still think BK crowns are fun. How else can you have a fake royalty crowning when you’ve won an RP message-board “beauty” pageant?
You know what I find undeniably sexy? (No, not the guy in that pic. He’s like 17. I’m not a paedophile! grins)
People who don’t take life too seriously all the time and like to have a little fun. It’s why my friends and I will go to a 24-hour store at 2 a.m. with labels stuck to our foreheads. (I was “Rabbi” - it was a label stuck to the money drop-box of the pizza delivery boy by that name who used to work for us. Another friend was “MMMMMMMMMM”, and another was “Christophepher”, because he lost his place in spelling his own name and decided that would be the name of his son. I can’t remember what the fourth person’s label said.) We then prance around like the dodo from Looney Tunes, and generally have a hell of a good time acting weird.
It’s a trademark of people who are comfortable with who they are, and comfortable with their company, I guess. I love being silly. I love walking up to random guys and convincing them to bite trees to save my life. I love acting like an eight-year-old vampire girl. (“Lookit I’s got smelly markers! The red one smells like blood! Th’orange one smells like old-people blood! The yellow one smells like plaaaasma. The green one smells like gore! The blue one smells like de-oxy-gen-ated blood! An’ the purple one? It smells like grape!” :D) I love sitting in a bagel shop in NYC and making play-by-play commentary on the Nazi argument between two 70+ year-old Jewish men. (That was a hell of an argument, by the by. One of them was arguing that the Jews weren’t specifically singled out by the Nazis, that it was all minorities that they hated and that the Jews were just more numerous. The other was flabbergasted by this and responded with “You want the truth? The truth? You can’t argue with the truth!” giggles That was a great night.)
Being silly is great. I love it. And I don’t care what anyone watching me thinks.
Though most of them, when asked, have thought it was entertaining and fun.
[/pointless rambling]
I thought the OP was funny. And Caita, well, uh…umm…you’re pretty cool. I think. No, you’re very cool. I wish I’d heard the commentary.
Ya know, we used to wear those at pep ralies as seniors in high school - I thought it was fun.
Just imagine 700 kids with BK crowns jumping up and down screaming at the top of their lungs…
Sweet Mother of pearl.
Missy, you’d better pray to whatever Wiccan she-beast you believe in that your parents are extremely wealthy. Because if that’s not the case, I have a feeling you’re going to get eaten alive in the real world.
looks around
Wow, never knew “physics” was a Wiccan she-beast. Maybe I didn’t read the text-book close enough or something. Damn. Thanks for the heads-up, Bossk, here I was under the mistaken impression that science was, well, a science, not a mad, angry female deity!
Parents? Not wealthy, anope. Life? Going pretty good, got a wonderful man, and um … I’m happy. Very happy. Make enough money, got a zippy car, but most importantly, I’m comfortable with being me. I even like it.
Life, eating me alive? Nah. I grabbed life, bent it over a table, and made it take it like a man, baby! Oh yeah! (See, they weren’t kiddin’ when they said “Life’s a Bitch” … )
Hey throatshot - thanks I wish I could recall the argument and commentary, I’d go re-enact it in GD or something. It was hysterical. 
Don’t mind him, Caiata. He’s envious of anything with an IQ greater than that of a turnip.
After all, do we really believe that, given his board behavior, he knows jack about “real life”? Hell no. He’s probably been playing this “Bossk” persona of his for so long that he doesn’t even realize that large, triangular starships never existed.
Asshole. you are such a complete asshole. In the history of Assholes, you are the asshole of assholes. King Asshole XIII, lord protector of Assholes. You are the assiest asshole who ever assholed an asshole. May your asshole be assholed by asshole assholes who asshole on a professional level, and then be audited by the IRS.
And dont get me started on how much you suck.