Urbanredneck, when you lived in a community in which straight couples were demonized, when people alternated between trying to deny them rights and complaining about all the straight propaganda they were shoving down their kids’ throats, did you just stay in that bigoted hostile community because you liked the taxes?
Or–and stop me if I’m overreaching–do you have no experience with this and so should maybe shut up and listen instead of engaging in this foolish Just Asking Questions bullshit?
Saying we moved here because it’s less populated by bigots does not preclude our moving here for other reasons.
Now, why are you so hostile? Will you give it some thought and answer that, please? I’m bewildered by your tone and by the way you grab onto anything negative you can think to say to me.
Fortunately for the kid, good academics, good music programs, good science labs, and good SAT scores are all positively correlated with communities that accept same-sex couples.
But that’s kinda a weird question. Most people chose a place to live because they grew up there, or have family there, or can find a job there, not for any of the reasons you mention. And “my neighbors are friendly” is a big deal to kids.
Do you always look for any negative you can invent when talking about the choices gay people make? Just curious.
My guess is he imagines the kid thinking, “Why don’t my moms care about ME? Why are they so self-absorbed in their lesbian lifestyle that they chose where to live just due to not being surrounded by terrible bigots?” in a way that the kid wouldn’t think if they’d moved somewhere because of jobs or low taxes or any of the other self-absorbed reasons he came up with. And that he’s not bothered to think about what it’d be like for a kid to grow up surrounded by bigots who hate his family and therefore dismisses the decision as one that would impact the kid.
It could be vey awkward for a 16 yo boy to have to buy 2 mother day gifts , it might help if you both tried to put yourself in your son place . I think it was wrong in trying to embarrass to son to remember Mother’s Day , this could be one of the reason he 'forgot ’ it this year. I really can’t feel sorry for you , I feel bad for your son , as no on seem to be thinking about how he is feeling about being a 16 yo boy with 2 mothers.
Piffle and nonsense. It’s no more awkward for a 16 year old boy to buy two gifts than it is to buy one. Yes, this is not unusual behavior for a teenager, but he doesn’t need anyone feeling sorry for him.
Oh, Jesus Christ. What, your imagination on this subject deserves anything other than scorn? Of course we’ve thought about how he is feeling, people won’t shut up about it. I’d lay very good odds that of the drama in his life–even of the drama in his relationship with his parents–the fact that neither of them is a man is down near the bottom of the goddamned list.
You would not, of course, raise such issues if we were talking about a mixed-race couple, or about a couple who were both Jewish. You’d recognize how obnoxious that was. It’s the same thing.
Don’t worry about it. The kid is fine. Your making a fairly standard mistake in assuming that your personal prejudices are the default. You don’t like gay people, so in your head, the idea of being raised by two gay people seems like something really terrible. But one of the advantages of being raised by gay parents is that you generally don’t develop the sort of base bigotry you’re currently displaying. Really, the only drawback intrinsic to having gay parents is having to deal with people like you. So, if you’re genuinely concerned about the kid’s welfare, the absolutely best thing you could do is shut the hell up and never open your pie-hole on the topic again.
No one is ignoring that possibility. If Tapu lived in Alabama, I’d would suggest that the 2 mom situation might be the issue. But she clearly stated that she lives in a very progressive part of the country. I also live in a very progressive geographic area & my kids have numerous friends with same sex parents and it is truly NO BIG DEAL at all. If one of the same sex couples in our community came to me and expressed confusion that her child forgot Mother’s Day, I wouldn’t in a million years suggest that it’s because he has 2 moms, because again, in my community, it is totally accepted and common.
Mother’s day is essentially a Hallmark holiday anyway. It’s a fabricated day invented by greeting card companies. Same with father’s day. When I was a kid we never, ever paid attention to these crap holidays.
If you have a personal problem with me, there is a forum for that. Even there, it’s bad enough insinuating that I act like I’m still a teenager. But attacking my family and friends is out of line on the entire board.
Well then your not really doing her a favor by being open to all possibilities. Living in a gay accepting community has nothing to do with it. It may even open up new issues when the kid looks around his school his parents chose for him and sees how half the other kids also have gay parents.
Perhaps you are too close to the issue to see that this is not the norm throughout thousands of years of human history and development. Socially, it is fairly uncharted waters. While it may be fairly common where you are, it is quite unusual for humans to live like this.
Hey, your the one who said they moved to a place and chose a school because of the gay issue, not me.
And what your saying is you have these wonderful towns that are gay accepting and the rest of the country which is full of bigots? I think if you would open your eyes you would find out schools have become more gay accepting over the last few years.
I am having such trouble understanding some of the responses here.
The kid will be confused by having to buy a gift for 2 mothers? What about the kids whose parents have shared custody and have both a mother and a stepmother? Do they get so confused?
What about those who are close to their grandmothers? Are they not able to buy a gift for both a mother and a grandmother or two?
It will “open up issues” for the kid to see all kinds of loving families in his community? How can seeing that there are many types of loving families be bad? What kind of “issues” will this raise?
Are all the posters saying that the child must have an issue with having two mothers also against divorced couples remarrying? Should all couples stay together for the sake of the children? It surely must be much more confusing to be shuttled between two households than to have two loving parents who want to be together.
First of all I don’t see anybody saying MUST or WILL…
I see lots of people saying “may” or “might”
Yes - there are some children that buy two or even three mother’s day gifts for mums, step-mums, adoptive mums - whatever.
My own sister buys a present for mum’s grave as well as a present for her MIL and another for her birth mum.
I don’t do any of that.
Each person is different -
Just because one child is buying a present for two different people doesn’t mean that this kid is not somehow confused, resentful or petty.
And just because this is a “gay accepting area” or “two mums are cool” it also doesn’t mean that attitude is universal - there are still bound to be bigots and bullies at the school and in the community - it might be rare, but they will still be there. The kid may have had the misfortune or bad luck to have run across one and might be feeling some variation of shame or embarrassment.
We have a lot of interracial parents & they too are accepted and common. If one of these moms asked my opinion on why her otherwise healthy & well adjusted teenager forgot Mother’s Day again, I can’t even fathom suggesting that it’s possibly because she’s Asian and her husband is white.
And I am certain these half Asian/half white kids (very common here) don’t have issues when they look around school & see other kids of mixed races
