I get it. You can’t find a study that shows better outcomes for children of gay parents over married, biological ones, so the best you can do is the brilliant ad hominem tactic of: “You sound like Charlie Sheen!”
Ouch. I feel like I’ve just been punched right in the feelings. Why you gotta harsh on me like that? What a brilliant rhetorical strategy.
But if you or LHoD ever find that study, start a thread and I’ll be there. With bells on.
So is your evidence all in your gut? You seemed pretty categorical. "Impossible to believe. Because it’s false " is pretty confident language. Were your parents a gay couple and they didn’t impress you much or something?
We see study after study showing comparable results for children of same-sex couples and opposite sex couples. You’ve specifically made a claim that under certain circumstances, this pattern doesn’t hold. You’ve used this claim to say nasty things about lesbian parents. You’ve offered no evidence for your claim. You have, however, typed a lot of self-congratulatory words in all capital letters.
It’s unfair to compare you to Charlie Sheen, since I haven’t seen evidence he was quite as nasty about things as you’re being.
Come back with a fucking cite for your claim, why don’tcha?
Why is it gaslighting to not encourage you to act like an entitled, self-centered individual and instead encourage/remind you to be grateful for having a child who is healthy, intelligent and by all accounts a leader and a good person?
If “Oh noes! he ignored the made up commercialized holiday!” is your worst complaint about your child? Yeah, you’re reaching for a reason to be offended.
That’s not gaslighting, that’s just basic reality. /shrug
I take no position on the children raised by same-sex versus not-same-sex vs single-parent vs an-entire-village vs corn and/or aliens. And I’d say the same thing to you regardless of your orientation. You need to stop over dramatizing this and be fucking thankful he’s not in jail, an addict or out there making you a grandparent who has to provide physical/financial support for the next 18 years. Because those are all alternatives other mothers of 15 year olds are dealing with this Mother’s Day.
A little more awareness of how lucky you are in general, and how lucky you seem to be with this kid, might not be a bad thing for you.
BTW: National Children’s Day was June 2nd last year. What’d you get each of your children? It’s June 7th this year. Are you getting your children individual cards/flowers or a gift? What I mean is, do you get upset over every holiday not fully utilized? Or only the ones that are about you?
Regards,
-Bouncer-
I don’t think you get it, because you keep repeating this falsehood – according to my links, children of gay parents are at least equal to children of straight parents in all childhood welfare metrics, and actually slightly superior to them in a few of the metrics. They also compared them to single parents (just a few in the control group), but for some reason (desperation, perhaps, that your pre-conceived notions about gay parents are under attack?) you’re shifting the goalposts such that if they compared them to any single parents, that invalidates the results in the comparisons to straight parents.
But that’s okay – this discussion isn’t really for you. It’s for the people with at least slightly open minds that gay couples really might be able to be just as good at being parents as straight couples.
Bouncer, others made the same point but not in quite the mean spirited way you chose. It’s like you are taking it a little personally.
On re-reading, you’re right. I came across as mean-spirited, and that was not my intent. I meant to be direct, yes, but not overly harsh. That is my fault for poorly communicating, and I apologize to Tabu for that.
I did wish (and I think I was the first to do so) her a happy mother’s day. 
Regards,
-Bouncer-
Gah… Tapu not Tabu. I either need more coffee this morning, or less. 
Regards,
-Bouncer-
Grotonian, do you personally know ANY children of same sex couples*? Because I know many, and even without the studies, I can tell you that these kids are extremely well cared for, well adjusted & do exceptionally well academically & socially.
Someone upthread suggested that it’s because they are obviously wanted (given that it would be almost impossible for them to be conceived accidentally) & that may factor in, since the kids I know are all pretty stellar, regardless if they have 2 moms or 2 dads. My guess is that they are not only wanted, but their parents do a tremendous amount of research & planning on ideal parenting, & provide an excellent support system at home….to prepare them for when they encounter people like you.
*I am sincerely hoping that the answer is NO
I’d like to turn it around on some folks here who seem to think that there’s a nontrivial possibility that the boy is resentful of his moms’ lesbian relationship or something like that.
A lot of us are not taking that seriously because we think it doesn’t happen. We think it’s about as likely as his being hit on the head with a turtle dropped by an eagle and suffering specific amnesia: technically within the bounds of possibility, but not something that actually happens.
But fine. You want us to take it seriously. So show us. Find one example–just one, mind you–of an adult son of lesbian parents, raised since infancy by both women, who has spoken about his resentment of his moms’ lesbian relationship. If it’s happened, surely someone has written about it.
Just one. That’s all I’m asking.
Well, hold on a minute here. This is not a standard you want to hang your argument off of, because there are going to be some people out there who meet that description. Lots of people hate their parents, often for irrational reasons. Gays make good parents, but we’re not, like, magical. There are shitty gay parents out there, just like their are shitty straight parents. And some of those kids are going to fall victim to lazy thinking and easy prejudices and blame their shitty childhoods on their parents being gay.
To be clear, if he can find one person, it’s not like I"m conceding that it’s common. The remarkable thing, given how much I’ve heard people hating on their parents for all sorts of dumb reasons, is the complete lack of people hating on their parents for this specific reason. If they can establish that even one person has talked about this reason, then their argument has moved from completely implausible to just mostly implausible–but at this point it hasn’t even moved into the mostly implausible category.
And you’d be wrong. But consistent.
(post shortened)
I’ve identify two possible problems in the OP. A) A 16 boy forgets/avoids honoring his mother on Mother’s Day, and B) a mother is bothered by the fact that her son forgets to honor his mother on Mother’s Day. This thread has already provided POSSIBLE answers to both of these problems.
I suggest an organized form of brainstorming.
*- What is Brainstorming?
…Brainstorming combines a relaxed, informal approach to problem solving with lateral thinking. It encourages people to come up with thoughts and ideas that can, at first, seem a bit crazy. Some of these ideas can be crafted into original, creative solutions to a problem, while others can spark even more ideas. This helps to get people unstuck by “jolting” them out of their normal ways of thinking.
Therefore, during brainstorming sessions, people should avoid criticizing or rewarding ideas. You’re trying to open up possibilities and break down incorrect assumptions about the problem’s limits. Judgment and analysis at this stage stunts idea generation and limit creativity.
Evaluate ideas at the end of the session – this is the time to explore solutions further, using conventional approaches.
By contrast, brainstorming provides a free and open environment that encourages everyone to participate. Quirky ideas are welcomed and built upon, and all participants are encouraged to contribute fully, helping them develop a rich array of creative solutions.
…Group brainstorming can be risky for individuals. Unusual suggestions may appear to lack value at first sight – this is where you need to chair sessions tightly, so that the group doesn’t crush these ideas and stifle creativity.
…Consider who will attend the meeting. A room full of like-minded people won’t generate as many creative ideas as a diverse group, so try to include people from a wide range of disciplines, and include people who have a variety of different thinking styles.*
Again - brainstorming provides a free and open environment that encourages everyone to participate. Everyone is included. Or more to the point, no one should be excluded, especially by the actions of wanna-be internet bullies. All tall, short, thin, and fat people can participate.
You deal with the real problem – not its symptoms. You gather all input, no matter how silly. You then have a rational discussion as to whether each individual input is worthy of further consideration. Try to remember, one persons “silly” input might spark a better idea from another participant. Or you can mischaracterize, and try to shout down ideas you don’t like. Your choice.
So I gather that the only post of mine that you’ve read is my OP. Please read the others where I respond to helpful suggestions and am relieved to hear from many experienced parents that it’s just normal for a 16 year old. Please forgive me for being confused and hurt at first. And quit bashing me for it.
Good god almighty. I know what brainstorming is. Do you know that brainstorming is a discredited process? Even if it weren’t, it’s a weaksauce excuse for providing foolish and bigoted suggestions.
Hahahaha. From your linked article -
*…That assumption may not be true.
A study by researchers at Texas A&M University, and published in Applied Cognitive Psychology(link is external), shows that brainstorming may not be the best strategy to generate unique and varied ideas. The researchers concluded that group brainstorming exercises can lead to fixation on only one idea or possibility, blocking out other ideas and possibilities, leading eventually to a conformity of ideas. Lead researcher Nicholas Kohn explains, “Fixation to other people’s ideas can occur unconsciously and lead to you suggesting ideas that mimic your brainstorming partners. Thus, you potentially become less creative.” The researchers used AOL Instant Messenger as their electronic discussion format when conducting the experiments, which included groups of two, three, and four subjects.*
Discredited? Your linked article suggests that when Brainstorming is used incorrectly, you potentially become less creative. We’ve seen several attempts of unhelpful group behavior in this thread. Hardly discredited.
The article I linked from Mindtools, warns against allowing unhelpful group behavior to fuck up the process. Something the AOL Instant Messenger users might not have been aware of.
“Conventional group problem solving can often be undermined by unhelpful group behavior. And while it’s important to start with a structured, analytical process when solving problems, this can lead a group to develop limited and unimaginative ideas.”
Try to remember - Everyone is included. No one is excluded. No one should resort to bullying to prevent participation. Brainstorming may not seem to work in groups you’ve participated in.
Here’s one, and no abuse, just difficulty growing up, social and sexual norms he didn’t learn living with two lesbians:
Huh. So I ask for an example of someone “raised by infancy” by two women, and you offer a guy who
Again, I asked for someone raised by two women since infancy, and you give me someone who lived with both women only when he was 19, and who saw one of the two women only on weekends? And you think that satisfies the cite I asked for?
Help me out. Is this where I shout “BOOM!” or “YAHTZEE!” or “I EATING YOUR DOG!” or what?
So, 40 years before my lover and I were parenting my son. Quite a different world then. It is sad, though, that this one lesbian-parented boy had a difficult time of it, back then, where they lived.