My apologies to Stranger and the rest of the Board

About This Message Board
21

First off, I offer my sympathies as someone who has been through that you are describing. I have had more than my fair share, I think.

Second: probably obvious advice for that desire to lash out: if I know I’m angry, I’ll write the post the wait to submit it. Just come back in a bit. It’s become a habit.

Third advice for withdrawal: SSRI withdrawal effects are definitely a thing, and there are tapering plans that make it more manageable You can find the info and plans written by doctors–incluing ones that let you see the pace.

Yes, Effexxor is an SNRI, but that just means it has SSRI and NRI attributes. It still counts. If you’re having this much trouble, the pros would recommend going slower on your taper. ( And cold turkey is NOT the recommended way at all.)

Some additional info that may help: This technically isn’t addiction, because you’re not craving more of the drug. It’s tolerance. But you don’t have to be addicted to face withdrawal.

Your thoughts right now ARE NOT necessarily what the medicine was holding back. While some of it can be rebound (returning of old symptoms), tolerance means it can actually be worse. You’re also just feeling bad and possibly even sick, which makes thoughts worse.

My advice is not to think of this as what was in you, but how the withdrawal is affecting you. You are not your thoughts. It sounds weird, but it’s true. You can have thoughts that are inconsistent with what you value or believe. Thoughts can be symptoms, too. Meditation can be your friend–observing thoughts rather than han embracing them.

Sorry, this is getting long. My post was shorter until I reread and noticed the specific medication, and realized I had actual experience that might help.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Please don’t leave, but also don’t feel any pressure to post.

One last thing: a small, occasional dose of ibuprofen would help me. I say small because you can possibly be a bit sensitive in SSRI withdrawal. Serotonin is a vasoconstrictor, and suddenly having less can mean blood vessels expand.

(On mobile, so apologies for my post being a bit out of order. It’s more annoying to edit, and I’m not feeling well myself.)

22

Please don’t spend time on it. I’ll take the hit.

I knew it would get flagged.

(In the law, for what it’s worth, having an irresistible impulse is not a defense. It’s only when somebody didn’t appreciate that their actions were wrong that we consider not guilty by reason of insanity)

It wasn’t intentional. The pharmacy said they had a refill, then when I went in they said it required the doctor’s approval, then the doctor said they had previously approved it, then…

(I’m usually fine if I miss a day. But if day 2 turns into day 3, things begin to snowball)

23

Oh! I hate that. Usually my pharmacy will do emergency pills in that situation, taking them out of my next prescription. You usually have to ask the pharmacist directly, not just the workers.

If you’re not actually going off of the med, then getting back on will help a LOT.

And a little trick I use is to hide some pills away so I always will get my refill done with enough time. I don’t know if that’s practical for you, but my pharmacy always lets me call in the refill a few days early to give them time to straighten things out so I wind up going slightly earlier every month.

24

Oh god, Pharmacy issues can ruin your life for a day or two.

Try get some pills hoarded. I know it’s difficult if you’re on a everyday, exact amount. Maybe the doc could give you an emergency 5 pill bottle(yeah good luck with that)
Then add insurance being assy.

I hoard like crazy. I’m on so many medications. Some of which keeps me alive.
I will call a doctor’s emergency number in a heartbeat. They hate me for doing it. But I don’t care.
I pulled an RN outta a wedding party once. She was really pissed. She called my doc for me, and he called the pharmacy.

Yeah, I don’t like the game play with the pharmacy/doc office/nurse line thing. Makes me stabby.

25

Yeah–don’t leave. I always look for your avatar. We’ve gone to mail-order meds (CVS, but many of these pharmacies share the same address) and they are WAY more lenient about refills on non-controlled meds. I currently have a year supply of Advair–stop sending them! But it’s awfully nice to not worry if I’m going to run out of Lexapro or Gabapentin. And it’s cheaper and more convenient.

26

Thank you for your OP here for three reasons.

First of all, I consider you a very valuable member of the community, both for the contributions you bring from your legal expertise, but also the good judgement and wise takes you give on many topics. It was extremely confusing to see the post you’d made and it looked very out of character for what I’ve seen from you in the past, so that explanation makes a lot of sense.

Secondly, I’ve struggled with depression myself most of my life (and have family members who do as well) and the more often people are open about it, the less stigmatized we all feel. You help many people who struggle just by being brave and honest as you were.

And finally, thank you for still posting, and I’ll loop around to the reasons I said before about why I consider you such to be such a benefit here.

27

I admire your courage in sharing the OP here. We all make mistakes - who among us hasn’t fallen down from time-to-time? It also takes courage to recognize an error and do something to make it right. I echo the others in urging you to stick around - plenty of room by the campfire.

28

Warning reversed. See this thread:

29

Agreeing with this.

30

Agree with everyone above, as well. I, too, was shocked to see that response from a person whose posts I always enjoyed reading. I applaud the warning reversal.

31

Thank you so much for posting this. The apology and explanation are a much more accurate reflection of your character than the comments that got a warning (later justly reversed).

Whenever I see your name, I know I’m going to get an insightful response that I’ll find instructive, so I hope you stay. I’m just grieved that there’s such a struggle below the surface.

I was in a relationship with a guy who had similar mental and behavioral symptoms when he went off his antidepressants. It took me a year to get up the courage to go to a popular restaurant after he launched into a very loud, very long rant against religion. It was very much out of character for him when he was on his meds. Brain chemistry can be a bitch.

32

Just want to echo others and say kudos to @Moriarty for doing the right thing. Everyone has an off day. It’s okay as long as you realize when you made a mistake.

I did not see the original post in P&E, but again like others, I have high regard for Moriarty and his contributions to the board as a poster, particularly when it comes to legal topics which we all know are important right now. If I had seen that post I probably would have assumed like others that something was amiss. I am familiar with Moriarty’s substance abuse issues in the past as I’ve read a number his posts over the years where he’s touched on it in short or at length.

33

You’re a good person. I enjoy your posts and contributions to this board.

Looking forward to more.

34

Have you gotten your medicine filled yet?

35

I did. Thanks.

36

First of all, stick around! The SDMB is a social outlet for you and gives you contact, albeit on a virtual basis, with other human beings. Don’t get yourself banned! Before you post anything, take time and give it the same amount of thought that you have given to this post. Secondly, you show a great ability to objectively analyze yourself and your issues. For example:

Make good use of this ability by making yourself follow the best course of action available. Yes, I know, it’s easy to say and hard to do, but your ability to objectively look at your situation makes me believe that you can do it!