I am so sorry, Aldebaran. Please accept my condolences. Her beauty really shines through your words.
Thank you for sharing your love with us:)
Know strength.
Aldebaran, you did a wonderful job expressing yourself in this language you modestly claim to not know. I know your beautiful words will do little to fill the enormous hole in your heart this must have left but please know that we are all thinking of you, and we wish you the best.
I think we’ve all learned something about Alde today.
My thoughts are with you.
To all: Thank very much for your kind words.
I really can’t give an answer on that. I know that I can not escape this and there is no room for denial, but I can not find a way place this.
It is especially hard for my children to understand. I wish I could have done something to avoid that they came so young aware of this cruel side of love and attachment. Whatver you say or do, you don’t know what goes on in a child’s mind while listening to your words.
Salaam. A
I have nothing more to offer than my condolences and thanks for such a moving piece of writing.
Peace.
First of all, your tribute was beautiful. You’re blessed to have the love of such a remarkable woman.
I can’t speak as a parent yet, and I don’t know how you’ve chosen to cope with this as a family (and individual), but my own experiences tell me that it is important for a parent to be open with their children. Be honest with them, and don’t be afraid to grieve with them. My father always seemed unaffected by loss around the rest of his family, and even though I know he mourned in private, it felt like he was depriving us of what we needed to deal with the situation. It’s important to see that grieving, especially for someone you love, is natural and a tribute in it of itself.
You’ll get through this; it will get better with time. The greatest tribute you can give to her is the life you lead and family you raise. God be with you, Aldebaran.
In my opinion it is better for the children to talk with them calmly, wihtout giving in too much to your own emotion. They are both under ten years old, but they asked very pertinent questions about life and death and the reasons why.
Of course I can fall back on religion like the people surrounding me did when I was a child. Yet because I can rely on my own experience I don’t see that as the best way to deal with the fear children might have for loosing someone again.
“God wants it to be” is in my view the most easy way out for not answering anything a child may think or ask. It certainly didn’t help me much at the time.
It would be interesting to hear how people who are not religious try to beat the fear of children that whenever you leave them it could have been the last time they saw you.
I don’t know if it can be answered here, or if it would be a good idea to make a thread about this.
Salaam. A
Alde, I was not aware english was not your first language. Hell, you write better in a second language than I write in my own natural language.
There are some wonderful books to help explain to children about what happened or why or where the deceased went. Trying to help my 6 year old son understand why his very ill uncles have died is nearly a daily challenge.
Badger’s Parting Gifts by susan varley. Lovely, non-religious story of how an ageing badger who dies has taught the younger animals little things that mean so much.
Mountains of Tibet by Mordecai Gerstein. Deals beautifully with reincarnation.
The Next Place by Warren Hanson. I just found this book at an independant book store. It is simply lovely, non-religious about where the spirit or deceased goes after death and how they leave behind the human faults and frailities without forgetting the love and friendships.
That was a beautiful tribute Aldebaran. I am very sad at your loss. 
Thank you for your kind posts.
I still have no idea how to deal with this. If you picture life as a question mark returning always to the dot on which it floats, she was the dot of mine.
I started a thread about the meaning of life and death asking atheists to give their views.
I have the impression there are a lot more atheists who are regulars on this forum then there are on GD. Your input would be much appreciated.
Thank you.
Salaam. A
May peace be upon you. And your beloved reside in Paradise
Seeing this thread just about to fall off MPSIMS, I’ll bump it, and hope Alderbaran and family are doing well.
I am saddened by your loss, My thoughts and prayers are with you. My you God go with you, and bring you peace and hope.
I have no idea how I missed this thread for so long. I’m so sorry for your loss, Aldebaran. She sounds like a wonderful, loving, generous lady. I’m wishing you comfort and peace.
Veb
What was the relation to you? A grandmother? I missed my grandmothers terribly when they died.
My condolences to you and your family. In you the gift of her love lives on.
I’m sorry for your loss, Aldebaran.