I’m blonde - have been for 52 years, my incredibly intelligent daughter is also blonde. We revel in the fact that society thinks we’re dumb! Let them think that, it means that we can get away with all kinds of stuff.
We could call the wahmbulance for those who can’t laugh at themselves. If you can’t laugh at yourself, you have no business laughing at or with anyone else.
Lighten up people! We’re only here for a short while and we should enjoy what time we have.
I’m here, I’m blonde, you think I’m stupid, get used to it! (while I make more money than you and have my way with your wimmin!!!) HaHaHaHaHa!!!
Blondes (like me) are being ridiculous when they get outraged (not like me) by the blonde jokes and the “blonde moment.” The stereotypical “dumb blonde” bleaches.
Probably the worst blonde moment I had was to use the “i had a bit of a blond moment” phrase in a meeting. Having a well established reputation for moments ( or epochs) of air headedness it seamed appropriate. Not so much as it turned out.
I understand the phrase is not intended as an insult to blonds, but probably is one of those phrase that needs to be let go and allowed out to pasture.
The second of my most situationally unaware and oblivious to the contradictions between my well intentioned actions and the true intended outcome moments was my attempts to remove the lumps from some gravy. I held a sieve over the sink and poured said gravy through the sieve and succesfully separated the lumps from the gravy.
OK, the last ‘incredibly stupid as in how-do-I-remember-to-breathe-on-a-regular-basis moment’ was this: my hubby was home for Christmas vacation. He was here for almost two whole weeks!
At some point during that time, I decided I needed to go shopping. He hates shopping, so he declined to come along.
Now, on any normal day, I’m spatially challenged. I’ve lost my car in parking lots more times than I can tell you. Therefore, I love parking lots that have numbered rows, and I usually count how many vehicles past the cart corral or whatever that I park in, so I can find my car again when I come out. (This doesn’t always work, but it’s the most successful thing I’ve found so far; I need to figure out how to program my TomTom so I can carry it with me and it will find the car!)
So, I go shopping. Mad, after-Christmas rush. I finish shopping. I come back out to approximately where my car should be, and it’s not there. A store employee, out cart-gathering, asks if I need help (I guess he noticed I was wandering around looking lost). I explained my problem. He laughed and said it happens all the time, and got security for me. I described my car to them, and they began to help me search for my car. Row after row, long after we had left the part of the parking lot I knew I had parked in.
More than a half-hour later, it dawned on me: I brought my hubby’s car, because it was snowy and his has AWD. :smack:
The security guys were perfectly nice about it, but of course, on the drive home, I could just picture them snorting into their coffee cups on break. “Hey, I’ve heard of dumb blonds, but she was a redhead!” etc.
That’s why the new Magillmobile is a red minivan. It’s much easier to find in the lot than the old champagne colored Caravan. You have no idea how many times
my wife and I have stood at the trunk of the wrong car wondering why the keys weren’t working.
A few months ago I was out on my mountain bike with a friend. We stopped to admire the view and have a drink, and I took my helmet off and hung it on a tree branch.
When the time came to set off, my helmet was gone. I shouted to my friend who had gone on ahead to stop. “What’s up?” he asked. “I can’t find my helmet!”.
He yelled something back that I couldn’t quite make out. As I scanned the area to try and find my helmet, I put my hand up to my head to shade my eyes from the sun…
…and smacked my palm into the brim of my helmet, which was on my head.
Yeah, unfortunately, I have a Net10 prepaid phone.
When hubby got his 'droid, he offered to get me one, too, but the last thing I need is a phone that’s smarter than me!
In truth, for what I use a cell phone for, it just wouldn’t justify the cost.
Worse yet, try looking into the van you’ve just unlocked, wondering who put those beach toys in there. It wasn’t ours, but the keys worked anyway. And it took a minute to figure it out. Yep, the brain went right straight to ‘where’d those toys come from?’ instead of ‘Oh, geesh, this isn’t out van!’
And of course, there was the night when the guy at the gas station got belligerent with me because he saw me peering into his van. I was, trying to figure out where the family had gone, when I realized it wasn’t my van.
That’s twice now we’ve managed buy what turned out to be the most common color. Next time I’m putting in an order for green stripes or something.
Heh. Something very similar happened to me once. I had driven a friend to a doctor’s appt and my van wasn’t even locked. The wait turned out to be longer than I expected, so I ran out to my van to grab my book. I open up the passenger door and there are magazines on the passenger seat. Not only that, but they’re magazines I don’t even read. A second later it kicked in. A van exactly same make/model/year/color as mine, was parked right next to mine. I’m really glad the van’s owners didn’t come out while I was in their van! :smack:
I’m glad I’m not the only blonde with issues getting my car to move. My friend left her car with me for a week, I was driving in Brooklyn and had to stop to get gas. There’s a homeless man there who’s pumping gas in exchange for a dollar. So I let him pump my gas and leave. She had this crazy alarm on her car that would randomly go off, so it goes off, I stop the car just by hitting the brakes, and disable it, which involves turning the keys a certain way and pressing a button. Then I couldn’t get the engine to fully rev, so I try to remove the keys and freak out because they’re stuck. The homeless man comes over and asks if I need help. I tell him the problem and he looks at the car for a moment and points out that I’m still in “drive.” I put the car in “park,” removed the keys, re-started the engine and gave him another dollar.
I’ve solved the lost car problem by always parking within the same 3-4 spots at commonly visited stores. It’s usually far away from the store (to assure the spots are open) so I get the added benefit of a bit of exercise.
It’s very nice. I was skeptical of heated seats… until I tried them. The brood is still blissfully unaware of the DVD players. We might break them out this summer. Best of all, it’s NC State red.
I put decals and pinstripes on my silver Corolla for just these reasons, too. Do you know how many small silver cars there are in a parking lot at any given time? A lot!
Speaking of blonde moments in parking lots, this wasn’t mine but happened to me. I was in my car waiting for someone, and a guy I didn’t know hopped in and started talking to me. It still makes me laugh when I remember the look on his face when he finally turned and looked at me. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry! I thought this was my wife’s car! I’ll just go now…” (I always look at the driver before I hop in my husband’s car now.)
Not only that, but they’re magazines I don’t even read. A second later it kicked in. A van exactly same make/model/year/color as mine, was parked right next to mine. I’m really glad the van’s owners didn’t come out while I was in their van! :smack: