I was running errands one day, I put the package I’d just purchased into the back seat, got in, and prepared to drive away - and I was completely and utterly mystified by the fact that there was no steering wheel. In between putting the package into the car and getting into the car, I’d neglected to close the rear door and open the front door. And there’s no steering wheel in the back seat of my car.
Years later, the story still kills us all whenever it’s told.
Male, blonde as a child, brunette as an adult, not (yet) suffering senior moments.
Oh, that reminds me of another ‘moment’ I had, not too very long ago (within the last couple of years, anyway). I was cooking dinner, and no matter what, I could not get the pepper grinder to work! A friend who was over visiting came into the kitchen, and I said “I can’t get this pepper grinder to work!” He took one look at it and said “Uh, aren’t you holding it upside down?” :smack::smack::smack:
In my defense (as if that were defensible!), I’ll say this: it wasn’t like the wooden pepper mills I use now, where you have to put them on the spice shelf right-side-up, so they’re in the correct position as soon as you grab them. This grinder was flat on the top (grinding end) as well as the bottom. I’d grabbed it without paying attention to its orientation, turned it ‘upside down’, and started grinding. Again, :smack:
I was frantically searching for my cell phone while getting ready to leave the house, getting progressively more and more annoyed. I expressed this bit of frustration to a friend of mine.
Went kinda like this:
Friend: Dude, what are you doing? Sounds like you’re trashing your house
Me: Looking for my <expletive deleted> cell phone! I’m gonna be late!
Friend: This would be the phone on which you are talking to me right now?
Yesterday, my daughter-in-law drove to where my son works and traded cars with him, before she went to class. At some point she realized she didn’t have her phone with her, so she borrowed one from a friend to send him a message to please look for it, also letting him know that friend would not be with her later. He found it in the car he had, so at least it hadn’t fallen in the parking lot.
As they were talking about this (I was babysitting), and she was getting her phone back from him, the first thought through my head was, ‘why didn’t you call her to tell her you had found it?’
Fortunately, I caught the problem there before I opened my mouth.
Years ago I walked out of my place to find that I had run over a screw the day before and my tire was flat . After cursing briefly, I jacked the truck up and removed the tire with the intent of taking it up the street and getting it patched. As I was putting it in the truck bed, the phone rang, and I ran inside to answer it. Conversation done, I walked back outside, hopped in the truck and proceeded to drive away.
Except I hadn’t put the spare on yet and the truck was still sitting on the jack. KER-PLUNK!
I had broken my wrist and won a cast for 74 days. Then I had physical therapy. After three months, I asked my tyherapist “Why is my hand feeling so much better when I’m wearing the brace?”
Answer: Because your hand is getting better. :smack:
My first year as a homeowner with water rationing. Odd numbered houses water on odd days. For a brief moment I thought, how do I know if Monday or Tuesday is odd?
Last week I came home to see a chunk of ice melting on the floor. I actually looked up like if fell from the sky through the roof. Oh, the dogs brought it in via the dog door. Too cold to play with it outside.
Back when I had only recently learned to drive, I drove to the grocery store one night, and when I came back out of the store, my car wouldn’t start. I decided to do the only car thing I knew: check the oil. I opened the hood, pulled the dipstick, the oil level was fine. I then realized that it was very dark outside and I had no idea how to put the dipstick back!
I sat in my car to think things over, and eventually a pickup truck pulled up next to me and these guys asked if I needed some help. One of them went into the store and borrowed a flashlight so they could put the dipstick back, and then they tried for a while to figure out why the car wouldn’t start. After a while, one of them said, “Did you put the car in park when you stopped?” I prayed for that not to be the problem, but of course it was!
My dear, blonde wife has given me lots of material over the years, but the above reminded me…
While we were dating, she called to have me rescue her; her car wouldn’t start and no one around could help her. I drove the 30 miles to her, put the shifter in park and started the car.