I have a rather secluded cube. If I need to let one rip, know one is the wiser. My boss rarely ever comes into my cube. He has no reason to. I go to him to get projects to work on and then I sit in my cube and work on the project.
The only time he ever comes into my cube is immediately after I let a real nose burner loose. The kind of fart that tints the air green and wilts the plants is the only kind that brings him running.
It just now happened. I had a bit to drink last night and it’s made me a bit gaseous today. As I was sitting here enjoying the scent of a particularly nasty one (I know I’m not the only one that enjoys ones own farts), my boss walks in.
I can see by the look on his face that he has become quite uncomfortable. I can tell that he is horrified by the smell. I can see that he is struggling to remain professional. He quickly relayed what he needs to and beat a quick retreat.
Sadly this isn’t the first time this has happened. The only possible explanation is that he is someone attracted to my farts. I really hope that he is not under the impression that I always smell like sewage. I really have to be more vigilant about “crop dusting”.
[nitpick]It’s not crop dusting if you’re just sitting at your desk doing it. Now, walking by his office, dusting the crops, and him coming out to follow you… that’d be a different story![/nitpick]
Are you sure you don’t have someone in a cube near you? I seem to remember another thread here …
I think it’s one of those Murphy’s Law things.
Not quite the same thing but whenever I’m in a store and I walk into an empty aisle filled with fart cloud and try to beat a hasty retreat that is when someone else will walk into that aisle and assume that I am the dealer of the cloud. As nice as it is to have an aisle to yourself I have grown suspicious of empty aisles and what may be lurking their unseen. There’s safety and more anonymity in numbers.
Exactly. By more vigilant I mean that I need to do it more. Instead of sitting in my cube, I should be out crop dusting so the blame may or may not be on my shoulders.
Perhaps the word does not mean what I think it means. Perhaps I should go to that other thread.
I’ve noticed this phenomenon as well. If I ever feel lonely, I just let one rip and people swarm to me.
The worst one ever was when I was working at a drugstore. It was the dead of night, nothing going on and no one around, which was a good thing because I was having a lot of trouble digesting something. I was standing quietly at my register when something evil tore my ass in half and silently emerged. I could see its black shadow behind me as it expanded to its full height and width. At that very moment, the manager came up, saying, “I’m going to get some twenties out of your register, 'kay?” To my horror, she bent down to put the key in the drawer. We were literally cheek to cheek.