What do you guys think ?? is he cheating or chatting with someone else…when we are talking on messenger he takes forever ( from 1 to 20 minutes) to answer me and he says his messenger is slower than mine…and also that his PC slows way down when he’s on messenger, he says he has to reboot it all the time, then when he does this he can take up to 20 minutes to do that…( WE LIVED TOGETHER AND I USED HIS pc ALL THE TIME , THIS never HAPPENED BEFORE).I have caught him the past many times talking to other women, at the same time he talks to me…he use to open his messenger all the time …now he never opens it untill late at night…I am thinking hes got another addy and is using it thats why he’s never on any more, when we first met he had all women on his messenger, and found out a long time after he had a few seual relations with a couple of them both on line and off…he has had all the messengers ICQ,Yahoo,MSN and now MIRC,…Should I worry??? And I right to mistrust him?..by the way he allways gets really mad at me when I ask him why he’s taking so long to answer me…he makes it out as if I am being too selfish to expect im to answer me right away …I type 10 lines he types short one liners or one word at a time…I have tried to wait for him to answer me but after 3 to 20 minutes I get really fed up…waiting…am I being unreasonable ?
PS. He’s also very rude to me when he replys…
What should I think? what would you guys do?
Methinks the man is not all that interested in talking to you…and if he’s rude, he should be history. Is this the same guy that you said was being a jerk to you in a pit rant a month or two back? I think you have all the information you need, sweetie…you just need to make up your mind whether you like being treated like this.
I think that is very suspicious as well. Being rude in replys shouldn’t be tolerated, and neither should not replying for 20 minutes (unless he has a good reason why he was away from the computer).
Just chatting with other women online isn’t necessarily a break-up offense, but if he’s being rude to you, why is he still your boyfriend? And not just rude, he’s clearly placing more importance on these other chatters than on you. He may or may not be actually cheating on you (and I wouldn’t consider just chatting cheating*) but he doesn’t exactly sound like a keeper anyway.
Yes, REGRETFULLY and I have been away for almost 4 months now, although we talk now rarely…he wants me to return…and no I have not gone back to get my things…he keeps saying he misses me and wants me back …but… well the story keeps getting worse…I have said I am getting a job way over here and going to get my self and my things…together…it has been really rough…on me…I lost a dear friend and partner 2 months ago and I had to start all over with my business…and trudge on with my life…and it seems nothing sense I left has gone in the right direction…there seems to be times when he seems sincere …but they are short lived and he reverts into the devil man once again…
Thoughts
Yesterday’s goals, dim memories.
Dark saddened eyes, blurring with tears.
Painful scars borne; Love’s history.
Futures crumble when doubt appears.
No brightly lit hope envisioned,
When following after harsh words.
Hurt soul splits in twain, partitioned.
Swooned by appeal - when numbness lured.
Apologies made, never bought.
Price paid turned out far too costly.
Though never known what would be wrought -
Must walk into the night softly.
One wish, only to be released.
Granted - now receive this token.
Words written in rhyme, love’s deceased.
The guy sounds like a jerk. Same as he did 4 months ago.
However, I’ve done the 20 minutes thing - multitasking, combined with a short attention span, combined with an apartment full of things to do has at times resulted in my sending a messages and then forgetting entirely about the person on the other end of the conversation while I get up to grab some toast, oh, and some juice, and type a few paragraphs of thoughts, and post to the SDMB, and oh, crap, what is that blinking message notification & how long has it been waiting there?
LADYG,if this is the same guy,HE IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE! He has shown by his actions how he really feels about you. No matter what he says,how he acts is the proof. You can do better than him. Why do you feel you need this man(term used loosely) in your life when he treats you like dirt. Cut him loose and dont look back,there IS someone out there for you. Dont even go back for your stuff if its something you can do without. If you really need your things take a friend with you to pick them up.It will hurt to make the final cut ,just hang in there,things will get better.
HE IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE! YOU ARE RIGHT…(AND IF YOUR READING THIS MARK ( which I know you are) I AM NOT AS MUCH OF A "LOONY LADY "AS YOU THINK)) That my friends is what he calls me!!! Along with my cat and dog as he refers to as morons…He slanders any decent person… and praises anyone who is like him…e.g…perverted sex types…by the way I found he now has access to all the FREE LIVE SEX VIDEOS…So you see everyone was right he’s a Jerk and a Cheat… and I do deserve someone better! As for getting my pets and things, your right, I do need to bring someone with me…other than the fact he may have a companion there…which I might add is in for a real treat…WHOM EVER HIS NEXT VICTIM MAY BE…I am sure he will try to stop me from leaving…thinking I will change my mind and want to except his abuse yet again! We did speak last night and I let him know, I knew about his latest obsession e.g… LIVE videos, and Boy! did he get mad …least to say he hung up the phone fast enough …Whoops! Found Out Again!..lets just say guys he’s not a good cheater, he’s easy to catch…then again, I think he WANTS to be caught to see how he can wiggle his way out of it. No sane man would be that reckless. But we are not dealing with a sane man here are we? Cutting him loose is well, doing an injustice to all the women out here, but gosh, sorry ladies, but it must be done. As for me meeting or wanting to be with anyone again…well at this point I WANT TO BE ALONE to heal the many scars that he has inflicted upon me. It took me 9 years to get involved with someone ( I heal very slowly) and Man! did I pick a LOSER. A man with no feelings for me at all… he’s the worst man I have ever met in my life. The sadness of it all is that I know it will take years and years if ever for me to trust another man…( if ever) how sad, how very sad that a person can destroy another’s trust. And move on without a care in the world, without any guilt, without any remorse. Free to victimize the next innocent
woman.
Foot Note; after I had posted that last “is cybering cheating” for the longest time he would not come here to read or post on the boards, but he’s back, so he will read this…do you think I should tell you his addy here??? Naww, he would just change his name.
Dont give up on life,you will find some one who will treat you as you deserve. you will need time to heal but a loving relationship is one of the best “medications” out there. I can tell you about what my running partner went through. Feel free to email me for details or if you want to talk.
Messenger can be slow at times (one of my online contacts always used to keep saying “You’re busy; I’ll leave you alone” because my replies seemed slow, although I was typing and sending them immediately.
but 20 minutes? - you are talking about Messenger, not Hotmail, aren’t you? - Messenger would time out and give you an error report way before 20 minutes if there was a problem relaying your message. Don’t be fobbed off with excuses.
