1: Shall I have a cup of tea?
2: Ooh, tea, lovely tea.
3: I don’t have enough maps of Antarctica.
4: I need to get online and order some.
5: Ooh, technology, lovely technology.
6: Twix
7: Twix
8: Twix
9: Ooh, there are my lovely trees.
10: How can I acquire more trees without annoying the SO?
11: Who ate all the Twix?
So, dividing things into guy-think and girl-think is a folly. I’d guess that mnemosyne’s boyfriend either forgot to call, or got into one of those states of mind where you know you have to do something, but can’t actually bring yourself to get up and do it. I reckon his reasoning is just there because one has to make some kind of excuse — it’s difficult to come straight out and say “I forgot” or “I knew I had to do it, but I found it hard to pick the right moment”.
Once again, Persephone displays her apt understanding of how then male of the species works.
Tansu, if you slip a “When’m I getting sex from Tansu again?” between each one of your partner’s posted thoughts you be a hell of a lot closer to the truth. If there is any single rule which runs the universe, it is: Guys want sex.
Your job as ladies, and I’m sure you discuss this kind of thing at showers, on shopping trips and when they separate the girls from the boys in the sixth grade for sex ed, is to withhold sex until we act as you wish.
I heard this really interesting thing about politics/anime/linguistics/history/literature/popular culture that I really must share with you right away.
It’s the small battles make the difference, not the big one’s.
Seriously.
I laughed when I first read that line. Then I thought about it for a minute and went, 'You know, I’d probably do the same thing.’
Why?
Because I honestly think that you are trying to micro-manage his life. Or at least you’re trying to manage it more than he wants. He sees it start with micro-management and quickly turn to full-on corporate hell.
It starts with what time for this, what time for that, and quickly moves onwards and upwards from there. Who knows where it will end. If he lets it slide and goes along with the game, what bigger issue involving the same topic is around the corner?
He might as well fight the small fight now and avoid the bigger argument that’s bound to come up down the road.
Irrational? Maybe. But he’s not about to worry about a little overreaction and irrationality.
By asserting himself now and basically saying, ‘Hey! I’m in charge here. I’ll do what I want when I want. Don’t believe me? Well I’ll just hold off calling here and show you.’, he’s avoiding, by fighting the small fight now, the larger fight down the road.
Umm… It’s a little early over here. So early that I apparently need to repeat key points over and over again to get them across well.
Forgive me please.
Oh, wait… You’re a woman. Right?
You might as well forget the forgive me part then. Remind me about it constantly. Keep reminding me of it until I want to yank every last strand of hair out of my head. Remember it now and forever. Take it to the grave!!!
(Insert smiley please)
Oh, wait… Forget please. Make me beg for it. Make me grovel at…
Sigs here! Get your sig here! That’s right, HOT sigs. Get’em while they’re hot!
Note to other posters: ChiefScott has been at sea a loooong time. Most of his statements are correct; I just wanted to point out that he’s been at sea a loooong time.
“Good morning, dear.” ::Maybe if I go make the coffee she’ll give me a quickie before work::
“I’m jumping in the shower, hon.” ::Good. She knows I’ll be naked. Maybe she’ll come in and give me head::
“Boy that was a great shower.” ::I’m squeaky clean. Maybe we can screw now, 'cause I don’t smell all sweaty like last Thursday when she turned me down.::
::Walks into bedroom so SO can see I’m still naked::
“I’m gonna wear that tie you bought me Tuesday.” ::We had sex after she gave it to me. Might happen again.::
“These waffles are great.” ::This syrup would taste even better on her boobs.::
“Do you need a lift to work?”::Maybe I can get a little ‘commutin’ head!’::
Arrives at work. Day monopolized with these thoughts:
“What if I…”
“How about if I…”
“She could…”
“I could…”
“It would be great if…”
“Maybe if I jump her…”
“Maybe she’ll jump me!!..”
Drives home.
“Hi, hon!” ::Wanna fuck?::
“MMMM.” ::Great kiss! Keep her going, stud…"
“Let’s go out to dinner.” ::Then she OWES me!:
“OK, no problem. How 'bout I fix dinner then?” ::Then she can come up on me from behind and ravish me on the floor!::
“Wanna glass of wine?”::That’s it loosen her up some more, stud::
“Wanna pop-sicle for dessert?” ::Yeah, lick it baby::
“Let’s watch Providence.” ::Now I can start rubbing her leg::
“No. I love this show.” ::OK! You are such a stud!! Now slowly move your hand up to her crotch…::
“I know you’re tired. I’m just helping you relax.” ::OK, drop your arm from her shoulder and caress her boob::
“Yeah, baby! I’m ready for bed!”
Brushes teeth, showers, puts on sexy UNC grey shorts he’s been wearing since junior year of college.
::I’m gonna start giving her head and move on from there! We’ll be up all night!! I’ll cum seventee times!!!::
Jumps in bed.
Wife: “ZZzzzzzz.”
::Fuck! Fuck!! Fuck!!!::
::Well, maybe she’ll wake up in the middle of the night and start stroking me!::
Sleeps.
::Dreams about screwing::
::Dreams about blow jobs::
“Good morning dear.” ::Maybe if I go make the coffee she’ll give me a quickie before work::
Unlike the fairer sex, a mere headache is NO obstacle to sex in the mind of a male. It may actually make it go away (or that is what we tell ourselves). An amputated limb is no obstacle for sex, for goodness sake!
Follows is an actual conversation between my girlfriend and me. I should know, because we have the same conversation at least three times a week.
(background info)
I live in an apartment and she is in her last semester at a university. We have a plan to get married, but have not set a definite date. She is not sure whether she wants to enter the job market or stay at home.
Her: “When do you think you can buy a house?”
Me: “I’m not sure yet. Either this summer, when I get my next promotion, or next summer. I have to look at the financial aspect.”
Her: “Don’t you want to buy a house? An apartment is not really good.”
Me: “I know. It all depends on the finances. If I can afford it, I’ll get something this summer. If not, definitly next year. Remember, I have another promotion coming next summer. Its a pretty big one, you know.”
Her: “But when can you buy the house?”
Me: “I DON’T KNOW RIGHT NOW.”
Her: “Because I think you should get a nice house. I really want to decorate it and have nice furniture and stuff.”
Me: “I know. I want a nice house also. You can decorate it however you want. I don’t care about furniture like you do. Whatever you want is okay by me.”
Her: “What kind of house can we get?”
Me: “Well, that depends on several factors. You know I am totally fine with just using my salary. If you think you would enjoy working, that’s great. We could afford a larger or nicer place. If not, we’ll just use my salary. Since you are not sure what you want to do, I can’t really say for sure right now exactly what we will be able to get.”
Her: “When will we be able to get nice furniture?”
Me: “I can’t say for sure. That depends on several factors. If you are working, we’ll be able to afford nice furniture quickly. If not, we’ll just use my salary. Since you are not sure what you want to do, I can’t really say for sure right now exactly what we will be able to get. It also depends on what type of wedding gifts we would get. I can’t predict that. Please don’t ask me about this any more. I can’t give you anything more specific.”
Her: “You just want me to go to work to bring more salary.”
Me: “Now, you know that is not true. I would be perfectly happy in a house bought on just my salary. You’re the one with the house and furniture fixation, not me. I only bring it up as an explanation of simple mathemetics. More salary = more house. Doesn’t matter to me.”
Her: “Let’s say I don’t work…when do you think you can afford to buy a house?”
Me: “I’m. not. sure. yet. Either. this. summer., when. I. get. my. next. promotion., or. next. summer. I. have. to. look. at. the. financial. aspect. Why is this so hard to understand? It’s very simple, actually.”
Her: “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just that I get so stressed out and worried. You remember that I used to have a nice house and furniture but lost everything in the divorce. I just want to have a normal life again. Being in the dorm here at the university is very difficult.”
Me: “I know, honey. But think; you’re getting a really great guy. The house and furniture will work out okay. Trust me! I’ve got a really good job with lots of advancement.”
Her: “So, when do you think we can get a nice house and nice furniture?”
Me: “I DON’T KNOW. IT DEPENDS ON CIRCUMSTANCES. DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT WILL WORK OUT.”
Her: “You’ll never get a house! You are content to live in an apartment for the rest of your life! All you care about is cheap furniture! I don’t like the pictures you have on the wall! (???) Plus, the refrigerator in your apartment is too noisy!(???) Oh sure, we’ll get nice furniture 10 years from now!”
Me: “What the Hell are you talking about? I said either this summer or next! What is this crap about me being content to stay in an apartment? When did I ever say that? Stop pressing me for details! I’ve already explained I can’t give you a specific time schedule because I’m not sure what the financial circumstances will be!”
…
So, yeah, I can understand resistance when being pressed for a schedule. Don’t try to schedule my life for me if I don’t have enough information to make a definite plan. A general plan is fine until the time comes for specifics. Then we can talk specifics.
You guys haven’t set a date and she’s already pressuring you for a “nice house and nice furniture?”
I’d say think long and hard before you marry that woman…its obvious based on her inability to comprehend either the financial aspect or the time-crisis that she is not a good money manager at all, that will cause severe problems between you later on down the road!
I don’t know the details obviously but that sounds to me like a decision I would look long and hard at and determine if its one that you really want to make.
In my mind there has to be a certain level of compatibility between a married couple and that includes the ability to manage money and finances. Impulse spenders are not good combinations with someone who obviously plans their purchases conservatively like you are wanting to do.
Okay, I’m not a guy. So could you (or any guy, for that matter), please explain to this ignorant c*** just how “what time do you think you’ll be home?” becomes micromanagement? It’s not as if I’m saying “I demand that you be home by X time, or your a** is in a sling.”
See, here’s my personal deal: my husband is a musician. I know full well that there’s a lot of after-gig stuff that goes on, some of it professional, some of it not, some of it felonious. I accepted this fact from our first date (he’s not the first musician I’ve known). BUT, there’s a few other things to toss in to the mix here. We’ve got kids, and he’s their primary caretaker–a stay-at-home dad during the week. I kind of like to know if he’ll be home in time to for me to leave for work in the morning.
Mind you, I never said I’d complain if whatever time he gave me was not to my liking. I don’t care what the numbers are, dammit, just let me know when I should start calling the hospitals.
One more thing–I didn’t use too many smilies in that post, but if you’ll read it again, and read between the lines just a bit, you will find that my tongue is so deeply embedded in my cheek I may have to have it surgically removed.
mnemosyne, just tell your guy what time you want him to call. Then stick to it. Don’t wait by the phone until he calls you two & a half hours after he said he would. Let him leave a message. Next time he talks to you, when he asks where you were, tell him you figured he wasn’t going to call, so you turned the ringer off & went to sleep , or you were watching SportsCenter with the volume up real loud, or you went for a drink with Ray & Mike & Syd (or whoever your friends are), or whatever interesting thing you decide to do rather than wait by the phone. Don’t lie - that’s mainipulative & dumb - but don’t just mope around pining for him.
I must confess, ChiefScott, I found your post strangely arousing. I wish MY BF let me ravish him on the kitchen floor!!
divemaster’s girlfriend sucks! My BF’s sister-in-law is like that. Every time I see her, she asks me what I’ve done with my house lately. As if I don’t have anything interesting to do. My house is clean & attractive enough, but I do not have enough time on this Earth to waste making silk-flower arrangements.
You have GOT to be kidding me. Either you’re joking, or you have the emotional maturity of a fourteen year old. Asking him to tell her when he’s going to call is not micro-managing his life. If he doesn’t tell her when to expect the call, she has to sit around all day waiting for it. Don’t you think she might have better things to do?
I thought mnemosyne was being generous to him by not only giving him a TWO HOUR window in which to call, but also waiting around well after that window was over. Me, I’d tell him to call me at 8, & if he didn’t call by 8:15, I’d be on my way to The Gin Mill.
