Ok. My boyfriend sleeps a lot. I try to nap and if he calls, I go to his apt, no matter the hour. I left his apt at 3 pm yesterday; I’m thinking he’ll call at some point. At 7 am I call him. Oh, he was playing Madden, he’s addicted to video games, has been doing them since he was 10. He’s in his 30s. Really? You’d rather do that than have sex with me? He could’ve done both(not at the same time). I feel like a side chick. I’m hoping more guys will answer so I can get their viewpoints, which may differ from females. Thanks.
You’re setting yourself up for a let down if anytime he’s doing something you jump to the conclusion that he would rather do that then have sex with you.
Assuming you are actually a woman (and the use of “females” casts great doubt on that) then I think you’re in need of this:
We had discussed having sex that afternoon, but he was waiting for maintenance to fix something and they can enter at will.
I am female.
Why?
I mean, it’s great to be there for your bf when he needs/wants you, but he seems to be interpreting that as his needs and wants always and automatically taking priority over yours.
Women often mistakenly think that if we are constantly putting a guy’s needs and desires ahead of our own, that will eventually inspire him to reciprocate. And then we’ll live happily ever after in a paradise of mutual consideration and after-you-Alphonse. Believe me, sister, I’ve made that unconscious assumption myself, an embarrassingly large number of times.
But that’s not the way it usually works. Very often, the more you prioritize what your guy wants over what you want, the more he just obliviously takes that for granted. He may appreciate that you’re “great”, “chill”, “low-maintenance”, and so forth, but he’s not going to pick up on the fact that you’re expecting some reciprocity here.
So to answer your thread title question: Yes, you are being too sensitive, because you’re going along with an inequitable situation that you’re not really happy with and then getting upset when your bf makes it clear that he hasn’t noticed you’re not happy with it.
Don’t be so hasty—have you tried doing both at the same time?
I have recently figured that out personally, after having read about it for whiles. Neither of us work, he ha s MS, hence the sleepiness. I told him last week to not say he’s going to call me shortly and not do it. I do realize I need to let him know I’m not gonna jump when he wants. I need this feedback, thanks guys. And gals
No. He could have called me down, had sex, then said he was tired. I would’ve left and he could’ve drafted all he wanted. Win-win.
As someone whose pretty deeply introverted, I occasionally need some time where I’m not expected to interact with anyone, and can just zone out on a book, or TV show, or video game. Interacting with people, even people I love dearly, can be draining, and I sometime need some time alone to recharge. It sounds a bit like you expect to be with your boyfriend at every possible opportunity - maybe he needs some time to do stuff where he’s not expected to provide emotional attention to anyone but himself for a little bit?
Yes, but a quick coupling never hurt anyone. I didn’t need to hang out afterward.
Here’s my advice: start asking for exactly what you want, up front. Do not make men guess what you need. They are generally really poor at that. Do not ask for anything general. Ask only for something specific.
Example of waiting for him to guess: walking around picking up objects and putting them down, moving in a suggestive way while he is looking at something else, and sighing heavily. NO
Example of a general ask: “I wish you were more interested in sex with me”. NO
Example of a specific ask: “Want to have sex right now?” YES, this is what you need to be doing.
You’d be surprised how much sticking to straightforward specific asks makes everything much clearer. If his answer keeps being “no, not right now.” then you get to make the decision of whether his other qualities are worth sticking around for. No wondering, guilt-tripping, nagging, wishing … such a waste of life energy. Believe me, I speak from experience.
Yes, we were thinking of having sex but knew the maintenance guy might come in. So I knew he’d eventually wake, and knowing he could call me. The game was more important. We’ve been having sex pretty much every day since we got back together in January.
More power to you, but I think a lot of guys would be a bit exhausted after nearly three months of that (not counting the sleep disorder).
He still needs to learn to be considerate and not just keep you hanging around on the off chance of a booty call, but I think you can quit worrying about whether maybe he just likes video games more than he likes you.
The key to a FWB relationship (which I think this is) is to not be sensitive at all. That’s kind of the point.
It is not FWB. He’s professed love. His dad knows we’re together as his friends do.
I resent the implication that some of us men are not really poor at that 
Even when my wife speaks with what I call “implicit ambiguity,” I’m fond of telling her that I will virtually always guess wrong when there could be 2+ meanings to something she has said.
Sucks, but there it is.
Idunno. I would find the exercise Maddening.
[sorry]
I’m impressed by your boyfriends stamina. Maybe give him a little space to do something else for a little bit? You’re dating, not conjoined.
Maybe… cut the man some slack? He’s got to have other interests.