My boyfriend's twisted logic

I’m posting this because I think the conversation I had with my boyfriend last night was just plain weird. And it left me laughing so hard, my side hurt.

He was away for the weekend (he’s coming back today :)). Since we talk to each other on the phone every night, I asked him to call me, and he had no problem with that. I, however, made the (apparent) mistake of asking him at what time he’d call. Now, I didn’t think this was too unreasonable, because he knew his weekend schedule better than I did, and I like to be able to know when to leave the phone line free for him to get through. So for last night, he had said he’d call between 8 and 10pm. He calls at 12:45. So I’m a bit upset, cuz he did the same thing to me two days before. I won’t get into any details, but the conversation ended up with the following:

Him: Why don’t you give me a time, and I’ll call you then?
Me: Because I don’t know when you’re free. You’ve got a whole bunch of activities going, and I’d rather you call when you have time, instead of in the middle of something.
Him: You’re putting all the responisbility on me!
Me: How? You know when you’re free. You know when I’m free. I don’t know when you’re free. It makes sense for you to tell me!
Him: But if you gave me a time, I’d be sure to call you!
Me: How is that any different from you giving me a time? Either way, it becomes expected that a phone call will be made at that time!

Anyways, this continued for a little while, with the eventual conclusion, that next time, I’ll TELL him to call be between 8 and 10, rather than him saying “I’m free between 8 and 10, I’ll call you then.” But I know that next time, he’ll tell me I’m demanding for telling him when to call me!

I just don’t see that there’s any difference, whether I set a time, or he does. I mean, 2+3 and 3+2 both equal 5, right? Or did I miss the math class where that turned out not to be true? :slight_smile:

[sub]Ok, this was funnier to me last night, but I’m still gonna post it![/sub]

Don’t sweat it. It’s just a guy thing. And apparently your boyfriend is a guy.

And this problem is so little, you’ll forget all about it when he get back home, bends you over the bed and takes you from behind.

Concentrate on the big stuff.

I’m not even understanding his logic.

It’s what my friend described to me the other night as a “Guys Suck” moment. They pass.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I love the Cheif’s logic.

I’m a master of logic.

I also know that it’s I before E except after C…

and sometimes K…Keith

Yeah, but anyone named Keith is intrinsically fucked up anyway.

But back to the OP…


Nice, Chief. Think of that all by yourself?


It took a team of a million highly-trained monkeys, a million keyboards and million years…

Psst, tiggeril?

'Twas a joke, dear. I assure you, no Keith was harmed in the typing or will me harmed in the reading of the above post.

no, I want PETA to make an independent audit to be sure of that…

Sure thing, ChefScott

mnem - I’m sorry for the total thread hijack that occurred…you do realise of course, that it gives him the perfect excuse next week when he phones at 1am or later to blame you for setting an unreasonable time?
Men suck…trust me, I know…

Women suck better. Trust me, I… well, ah… I’ve never done a comparitive study, mind you. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

I now return you to the OP.

I believe we were discussing the male’s inability to call when asked to or suggest a time for him to call and hold him to it.

Talk amongst yourselves…

We’re Men. We’re like that. Trust me.
Me, I’ve been well trained. I listen and obey, and when I dont, I know I’m in trouble. I’ve learned.

Incidentally, it’s causing me a headache to see someone being referred to as ‘Mnem’ and it not being me.


<fake Dr. Phil mustache ON>
Sounds like it’s a control issue with your guy. If he calls you, he’s in control. He initiates the action. But if you tell him to call, you’re the one initiating the action.

Since he wants you to call him, it looks like he wants you to be in control, to make the decision. Is he scared of messing things up in your relationship? Have you snapped at him for calling you at an inappropriate time in the past? Or is he concerned that he’s making too many decisions already in your relationship, and he is trying, however clumsily, to redress the balance?

My advice: Talk to him, come to an understanding, etc.
<fake Dr. Phil mustache OFF>

It’s all very simple.

If he tells you he’ll call between 8-10, then he can phone at 12:45 because he told you he’d call at 8-10 and if he doesn’t, then it’s okay because he isn’t put out by it at all. “Well I was going to call around then, but then something came up and I’ll just call later, it’s not like I can’t use the phone after 10.”

If you tell him to call between 8-10, he’ll know that if he doesn’t call between 8-10, then he’s inconveniencing you and pissing you off, because now he’s got a certain time slot that he’d BETTER call in, because you told him to…rather than him simply having to call because he said he would by a certain time.

So basically, if he sets the time to call, then he can change it on the fly and it doesn’t matter. If you set the time, then he’ll call at that time because if you don’t set the time you can’t change it.

It’s all perfectly logical…if you’re a guy…well, maybe not even then. You have to be a certain amount of insane.

  • Tsugumo

If you tell him to call between 8-10 pm, you’ve given him the ability to say “excuse me, guys, but I’ve got to go call my girlfriend, because she insisted that I call, and you know how chicks are, yadda yadda yadda.” Having him pick the time, on the other hand, will be forcing him to say “uh, well guys, I’ve gotta call my girlfriend, because I said I would, yadda yadda yadda,” thus giving his guy friends the opportunity to call him a whipped puppy.

I long ago gave up asking my husband what time he’d call, be home, or whatever. He either cannot or will not give me a definite anything. I think it’s a control thing, sort of like what Duke said, only in reverse. If I try to get my husband to give me a time that he’ll do something, I think he honestly believes that I’m trying to micro-manage his life. This is, of course, horsesh**. I just like to have a rough idea about what time to start worrying, because my husband cannot tell time. On the rare occasions that he says he’ll be home at X time, I usually tack an hour-and-a-half on to that. He’ll come in at the time I calculated, all apologetic, and I’ll say something like “Oh no dear, you’re home right when I expected you,” and he feels like a big weenie. :smiley:

Persephone, thats more or less the way it is with me. I tend to give him a slightly larger timeframe than he says, just to be on the safe side. The first night he did this, he said “around supper”. I, of course, assumed “between 5 and 9pm”. He thought “1:15am”. And the second time, I didn’t start to get irritated until about 11:30 or so (when I ran out of interesting things to pass the time and was left with a choice of homework or SNL :rolleyes: ).

The funny thing is, he’s been quite punctual since I met him, so it’s not like its a watch-reading disability or something. Though to be on the safe side, maybe i should send him back to grade one to learn how to tell time again? :slight_smile:

My apologies to any Keiths out there who might have felt insulted by this thread - that wasn’t my intention, really!!

Sorry for the headache, Mnementh - would you like an advil or a virtual head massage? btw, I like your name. Read Dragonriders of Pern last semester and enjoyed it :slight_smile:

And ChiefScott, do you really think he’ll be forgiven that easily? He’s gonna have to be punished for this one :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

He CALLED, didn’t he?? Jeez, give the guy a little credit…

Ladies, I’m a guy… trust me on this… there IS no good reason why he didn’t call/come home/etc. Guy-think includes nothing but the previous 2 or 3 minutes (what happened, and why it still hurts), and the next few seconds (what’s going to happen, and how much it will hurt). Anything further in the past is a blur. Anything further in the future is only scattered scenes of:

  1. When am I going to get laid again?
  2. Will it involve oral sex?
  3. Food: when?
  4. Food: what?
  5. Food: any chance of doing the waitress?
  6. Beer: what brand?
  7. Beer: who’s buying?
  8. Beer: how is that going to get me in trouble wioth the SO?
  9. Beer: how do I get out of trouble with the SO, so we can go back to #1?
  10. Miscellaneous (mostly involving our own glory).

BTW: why is it that the attributes that women seem to LOVE in cats, are exactly the attributes that women HATE in men?