I truly have no idea what to say, having just seen the body of my little brother at the hospital, not breathing, knowing that he isn’t coming back.
It just seems so surreal, I am just sitting here now, lost in thoughts, tears welling up in my eyes trying to grasp that he is gone, and that it happened with no warning. I mean just today I was sitting there talking to him, and the next thing I know I am getting called home from work, then going straight to the hospital where I see my dad sitting next to my 15 year old brother, crying in the chair next to him, and my brother just lying there, looking like at any given moment he will wake right up, but knowing full well that he won’t. It’s just strange that I know that while I was just arriving at work, completely oblivious, my little brother is taking his last breaths, fighting the water for the last time before he just dissapears where his friends can’t find him. I’m just sitting there cracking jokes at work, and meanwhile the paramedics are working, trying to save his life in a futile effort.
And now I am just sitting here, alone for the first time tonight, trying to understand. It just makes no sense at all. I dunno, I’ll be fine with time, I just need some time to let it sink in. I am mostly worried about my parents, my mom in particular, as both are taking it really bad. I’m stuck here as the composed one, and am a wreck when I start thinking about it. he was all excited about getting a streetbike next year, and i was even going to paint up the fairing all custom for him, and now I am sitting here helping my mom figure out what he will be wearing in the casket, and what I am going to put into a Eulogy (I want to do it)
I dunno, I just needed to vent a little, and I have a headache so I am going to try to get some sleep.
Thanks for listening, and pardon any spelling errors, I am really not in a mood for proper grammar. smiles weakly
One thing does really irk me though. News of the drowning was out at 6 pm this evening on tv. I personally wasn’t notified until 9:00. My family didn’t know either. No one did. But the local news did. Apparently the police had to fight to keep the name from being released too.
