I pit the worst day of my life FEBRUARY 11 2005

I was having the best sleep of my life when early this morning my step dad bangs on my door and tells me to get out of bed and get dressed. I didn’t want to wake up it felt like it was still night and I asked him why and he told me that an ambulance was coming to pick up my brother because he was having an asthma attack.
When I came out of my room a neighbor was in my house all my other brothers and sisters were awake and my mom was praying and the neighbor was rubbing my brothers back and praying for him.
My oldest step brother was on the phone and my brother was laying on the couch nude except for a shirt and I knew there was something wrong because he was not trying to cover up.
I got down next to him and asked him if he was OK he didn’t say anything so I went in the room and got his pants and underwear and tried to get him dressed and I could feel him breathing really hard and I could hear it he made very loud weezing sounds.
The neighbor kept trying to give him an inhaler and my mom got the guy across the street who had a thing called a nebulizer but before he came the parmedics came and took my brother and when we got to the hospital the doctor said his brain didn’t get enough oxygen and also his heart stopped and they couldn’t start it again.
I saw him dead and foolishly thought that if i moved him around enough he would wake up I shook him, tickled him, put my finger on his eye and no response my brother is dead I walked through the hospital and I had strangers coming up and hugging me and a nice lady gave me bible verses.
If anybody thinks I am making this up then good for them because I wish I was. I feel like I am in a movie because nothing seems real and I still don’t really believe all of this happened this morning.
He was a doper by the name of Showbiz who never posted anything but did hijack my screen name once after he found out I come to the dope…I cant see myself starting any threads for a while until things go back to normal as possible because there is nothing I can see myself saying except for I’m sad today and everything sucks.
Anyway that’s pretty much it for now I have a room all to myself and like I always wanted and it sucks and instead of praying or trying some type of CPR I attempt to put my brothers clothes on like it matters because he was living the last moments of his life.

My little Brother Zechariah 1991-2005 Rest in Peace until God Comes

I’m so sorry START.

I don’t know what else to say.

My God, I am truly sorry. My deepest condolances to you and your family for a terrible, terrible loss.

START I’m so very sorry. I just don’t know what to say.

Rest In Peace little man. Your brother loves you.

I actually found it physically painful to read that. Then I got to this part:

and it got worse.

God bless you, man.

Jesus, that’s horrible. I’m so sorry for you and your family. I don’t know what else to say. :frowning:

I’m so sorry for this happening. I lost my youngest sister almost 30 years ago, and the hole is still there. Please, don’t blame yourself or think you did the wrong thing. When my sister died, I felt guilty for still being alive - why was it her, not me? There’s not a lot of logic in this. I just miss her, like you miss your brother.

Another thing:

Try to give yourself a break. You didn’t do anything wrong.

Oh, START. I’m so sorry.

{{{{START}}}} Lot’s of 'em.

Man, I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family will be given the strength you need to deal with this. Please remember one thing - although it will seem impossible right now, things will get better.
I was much younger than you when I lost mine. All you can do is try to make him proud.

I am very sorry, START. I am so very sorry.

Please, from someone who has beat herself up for saying/doing something stupid, don’t keep reproaching yourself for getting his clothes on. You are such a sweetheart for doing that. You are a wonderful brother. Don’t forget that.

I don’t know what to say other than to repeat what the others said. I’m very sorry for your loss START and I didn’t even entertain the idea that you were making it up.

I am very, very sorry for your loss. May God comfort you.


That’s really horrible. I’m very sorry.

I’m so, so very sorry. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

I’m so very sorry, START. Please hang in there.

I’m so sorry. I hope in time your pain will ease.
Please try not to feel any guilt. The way you reacted was normal.

I’m so very sorry START, my deepest condolences.

I’m sorry sorry START. We’re thinking of you…

START, I am so, so sorry to hear about your brother. I used to think asthma wasn’t that big a deal because I’ve never had any one close to me affected by it. But asthma can kill, and it can happen more quickly than anyone can imagine.

Thinking of you and your family…