My cat is stupid.

I’ve had Sam since September, and me and my mom have suspected for a long time that he might not be the brightest bulb in the box. He seems to be completely lacking the grace and dignity that most cats are born with, and has been known to do things such as ram his head into closed doors in order to open them, be completely unable to find food dropped on the floor for him because’s he’s still sniffing the hand that previously held said food, and generally act like a big clumbsy goofball.

About a month ago we decided to let Sam play in the basement. To try to reduce the amount of trouble that he could get into, we got rid of everything that was obviously fatal to cats such as rat poison. Everything seemed to be going well until a few days ago, my mom discovered that he had broken into and eaten part of a bag of concrete. Not solid concrete, mind you, but powdered concrete, which mixes with water to form cement. He seems to have vomited most of it up and looks fine, but I can’t get over the fact that he ate concrete. It’s not like he did it out of hunger- he’s fed twice a day and there’s also a large bag of dry cat food in the basement. I don’t get it.

Back in the 50’s we had a Brit intern at a hospital in which I worked as a night call lab tech.

From the literature, he learned of a military hospital in England that had a big problem.

Seems a bunch of patients (some of whom were senior officers) had Barium enemas scheduled. The tech (or MD, himself) was new to this particular Radiology Department, and instead of Barium, he administered the plaster used for making casts.

After all the enemas were done, he realized the error and began frantically calling other military hospitals for suggestions on how to rectify the situation.

Without exception, after explaining the problem to each doctor at the other end of the line, he was greeted by wild guffaws.

Everything came out ok, so, maybe a little concrete in the tummy is nothing to worry about.

Concrete has to be mixed with a specific amount of water. If it isn’t, it doesn’t make cement. Also the acids in the kitty’s stomach would change how the concrete works. I’d still check with a vet, though.
Was Sam a kitten in September? If he was, then he’s not so far out of line.
He’s a teenager doing dumb things like any teenager, human, feline or other, will do. Even cats have to learn from their mistakes.

My cat, Lillian, also does not have too much cheese on her cracker:

She likes drinking out of the bathtub faucet, so I leave it dripping for her. Unlike her late sister, Dorothy, she has not mastered the “tilting your head” technique, so she just sticks her head under the faucet and opens her mouth, and whatever gets in is hers. Then she walks around with her head dripping all over the place.

You can’t pick her up–she can’t figure out why her paws aren’t attached to the ground anymore, so she panics and flails around.

And the litterbox . . . She thinks if her head is in the litterbox, all of her must be. So there she stands with her front paws in the box, her hinds paws on the kitchen floor . . .

He ate concrete?! :eek: :smiley:

I’ve been snorting and chuckling and laughing ever since I read this! That has got to be one of the funniest things ever…I thought my bird was stupid when she ran into her cage wall, but this is much worse.

I hope your kitty is OK. I don’t really mean to make fun, but I’m about to fall over laughing from it.

Excuse the nitpick, but the powdered stuff is cement and when mixed with sand, water, etc and hardens, and then it becomes concrete , But, hey, you were close. :slight_smile:

Typically Sunday I really am trying very hard not to laugh.


My cat is just over a year old.

She has still not developed the customary feline grace and dignity.

She fell INTO the toilet bowl a week ago. INTO it. Headfirst. Sploosh. Slippery kitty.

She also has to ‘kill’ her food before even thinking about eating. This involves throwing it into the air in every room of the house and battering it against walls until it inevitably lands in something that renders it inedible.

I hope Sam is OK, I would ring a vet and make sure though. As for grace and dignity - give him some time, he may get there yet.

Well, I have to admit mine can’t match that. The only problem litter-box wise she has is the assumption that all the floor for a one metre radius around the tray must also contain litter. Therefore: Scraping, pawing and digging at surrounding tiled floor will be equally as effective in covering up her business as scraping the actual litter inside the tray. So she does this, turns around, is highly concerned that nothing is covered up, tries again. And again.

Not working. Sniff ground. Dig harder. Use claws.

Not working. Yowl. Attract Buckler’s attention. Show Buckler the inadequecies of her current litter system. Demand cuddles.

Still, she does do it IN the tray. Can’t say I envy you, Eve :smiley:

I have an extra-large cat box to accommodate my cat Opie, who’d occasionally have this problem. He’s now perfect.

These were intentional, right?

Then why does the bag in my basement say “Concrete” ? I’m sure you’re right, I just went by what the bag said.

My Moira (five months) loves to sit on the edge of the tub while my baby and I take a bath. Best part for her is dipping her tail in.

So the other day she somehow slipped right into the tub with us. Two seconds and about ten scratches on my leg later she’s out and gone.

I shoulda shut the bathroom door.

I couldn’t rush out to get her since I had the baby with me. After I got Bella dried and diapered I went looking for Moira. No problem, she’s hiding under the bed cleaning herself amongst my shoes.

After I got Bella settled for a nap, I went to my computer to have a nice break. Noticed the monitor was off, but no biggy, it does that after a while.

Shook the mouse. Shook it again.

Shook it one more time.

Checked the light, it’s working, still nothing on the screen.

Noticed water dripping off the side of the monitor onto the table.

She apparently jumped on top of the monitor in her freakout frenzy. Later I noticed lots of other puddles, but none so potentially damaging. Instead of trying any more to get the monitor on, I shut it all down and didn’t touch it again.

Luckily after a few days of drying time the monitor works again, good as new.

Oh I have so many more stories to tell. Eight cats gives me plenty tales to tell. :slight_smile:

I have a Siamese cat named Valentino, who was a Valentine’s Day gift from my sweet husband 11 years ago. "Tino is as beautiful as a sunrise and as dumb as a sack of carrots. He is sweet, talkative and affectionate - he just ain’t real bright. For example, in addition to responding to “Valentino” or “Tino”, he responds when I say “no” to one of the other cats.

When we went to the breeder to pick out my kitten, there were two litters - about 10 kittens - to choose from. I had already decided I wanted a male. Mr. SCL says “I want that one- the one who just ran into the wall.”

Then there’s Bill, who falls off the speakers on a regular basis just to make sure gravity is still working.

Somehow, cats have this reputation as being elegant, graceful, aloof, and more intelligent than the average dog. Clearly, somewhere cats have a PR firm that could sell shoes to snakes.

Orbifold, whose cat is neither elegant, graceful, aloof, nor intelligent, but I love her anyway.

Ah, stupid kitties, they’re the best. My last was a brilliant cat in nature, but indoors he was a numbskull. He’d put his head in his cubby and sleep with the rest of him sticking out, like Eve’s cat but with less wiping. He never really understood glass, not in windows, not as beverage containers, nothing. The glass-walled shower was just too much for him and blew his mind everyday. He’d try to follow you in and then he panicked as you tried to put him out because the door was supposed to be there. Then he’d spend most of your shower bonking his forehead on the glass, reaching out with his paws trying to find the edge so he could rescue you.

My current cats have been known to jump into the tub when it was full and they’d been there to watch it fill and even played with the bubbles. Tansy is always underestimating her length and stretching so much she falls off the furniture. Violet is convinced that if she can look into something, like a bottle, she should be able to touch whatever’s inside the bottle, even though all of her body is outside. She walks around the bottle in circles, trying to get to the inside of the bottle, eye glued to the rim.

Could it by chance say “Concrete Mix”? I have seen that used to differentiate a mixture of cement, sand, and gravel(just add water) from plain cement.

Typically Sunday, if it makes you feel any better, when my family’s cats were about the same age, they ate lawn fertilizer. The stupid creatures were wandering around grazing the stuff off the lawn. After this was noticed and they were thrown into the house, they managed to get into the garage, where they chewed through the bag to get more fertilizer. It didn’t seem to hurt them - they’re now 8 and still dumb as rocks, though I don’t get to witness it anymore since I’ve long since moved out of the house.

This will seem like a hijack, but you’ll get it in the end…

In my fourth grade class, we were given a “science experiment” to do: figure out what the five white powders we were given consisted of. We had a week. Stipulated was that all five were non-explosive, non-toxic, and cheap. Well, of course we figured out the salt and sugar pretty much instantly. Baking soda was easy, we had already learned the vinegar test. The forth was a bit harder, but we figured in out after a couple days (I’ve since forgotten). The fifth had us completely stumped. We burnt it, we tested it with various common reagents, we cursed at it, we all ate pounds of the stuff trying to figure out what it tasted like. At the end of the week the teacher revealed…

It was plaster of Paris.

None of us got sick at all, so your kitty is probably okay too.


When I first got my cat Suzy, we let her explore the house, and she liked running in and out of the house onto the enclosed patio. One time, she was in the house, and we had closed the glass door that separated the house from the patio, but to her, it looked like the door was open, so she ran toward it at full speed, smacking her head on the door. She shook her head, and never did run toward that patio at full speed again.
Another habit she picked up was sleeping, face first, in one of my SHOES that I had just taken off. Why she did, and continues to do that on occasion, will remain a mystery. Sleeping face first in someone’s shoe wouldn’t seem too brilliant of an idea to me.

We have 5 cats, so this should be fun.

My dad’s birthday party was in full swing (all 4 of us were there) and I bought him a sword. The sword came in a long, flat box, about 3 ft x 1 ft by 1 in thick. My cat Rissa decided this was the perfect place to sit and take a little sleep. So she crouches down and curls up in said box. When she wakes up, she decides to jump down. Unfortunately, when she goes to jump, her legs simply push the box out very rapidly straight behind her, which left her in the same place she was before but scared the bejesus out of her. Cue comical kitty running in place on a table trying to get away from the loud box monster.
One of our kitties, Bita (say, ‘bee-tah’), particularly likes climbing as high as she can get, often times to her own detriment when she’s trying to get back down. What is of particular interest to her is the entertainment center, which consists of a tall bookshelf, with a cavity in the middle third that sits the TV, and a deep shelf above the TV. She wants to get into the shelf above the TV but can NOT figure it out. So every day she climbs to the very top of the shelf, approx. 7 feet tall, and twists herself to peek down into the shelf. On a couple occasions, she has twisted herself so much to try and wiggle in there that she has just twisted and flipped herself right off the bookshelf.
Then there was the time that one of my indoor cats (Molly) and my outside cat © both noticed eachother at the same time and ran full speed into the same window. And then seemed to blame the other for the discomfort from hitting the glass.

I’m sure I’ll think of more.


He may not seem graceful or dignified at times but you can rest assured that he meant to do that.
Perhaps he was weaned too soon? I’ve known cats that were weaned early and always have an oral fixation after that, eating anything they can get their mouth on.

Yes, but you must have been shittin’ bricks when you found out what it was… :smiley: