My fellow Californians:
We ran a great…uh, ok, good…all right, barely adequate campaign for the Governor’s office. But there comes a time when each candidate must look deep inside himself and admit the awful truth of the matter.
The truth is, my friends, I didn’t receive one freakin’ vote!
(shout from the back of the room: WE LOVE YOU RICO!)
Thanks, Mom. It’s nice to know. As I sit and type this, Schwartzen-fornia is looking to be more of a reality, So rather than prolong the suspense, I have decided to concede the election to my worthy opponent.
Wait a minute! News flash here! Breaking News from behind the Orange Curtain! This just in…Rico apparently receives one vote from his wife, cadolphin.
Thanks, Kathy. You really are the best. And you would have made one hell of a First Lady of California.
But of course, that means…Mom, you didn’t vote for me? Mom? Where did you go?
Thank you all for your support and thanks to Vice-Presidential candidate Esprix for his endorsement.
I pledge my support and any assistance I can offer to the new administration. Mr. Schwarzenegger, have your girl call my girl and we’ll do lunch.