I have a cousin who just turned 33 in November. Pretty girl. Blonde.
Was previously married, and has two kids. 13 and 6. Zach (the 13-year old) is uncontrollable. He’s been in and out of Ten Broeck, which is a hospital for mental health services, at least two times. He’s a terribly misguided child, and really needs help. In the last year, he’s been committed to Ten Broeck for a stay of almost three months, and showed improvement. But he’s regressed dramatically. In the last year, the cops have been to her house more times than I can count due to things like Zach fighting with neighborhood kids, stealing things out of people’s garages, etc.
Stacey (my cousin) is someone I’ve known my whole life. We grew up together. She has lupus which debiltates her to the point of an average of two to three ER visits every month. She’s also a pill hound, and her idea of parenting is to lay in her bed and yell at the kids. She also has no reservations about calling them “little fuckers,” etc. To their faces.
She’s been dating this guy, Bryan, for the last five years.
When she met Bryan, he’d just been released from jail, after doing nine years for accomplice to armed robbery.
I try not to hold that against him[sup]*[/sup], as anyone can make a mistake, and he’s paid his debt to society.
Since his release, Bryan has taken to smoking pot on a daily basis. Which, while certainly not the worst of the illegal substances one can abuse, is bad enough. Bryan has huge get-togethers that involve several neighborhood people (including minors) over for pot parties. In recent months, he’s also bridged over to crack on occasion. While her kids are up and around.
When I mention this to Stace, her response is that he could certainly do worse than pot, and she has to make some sacrifices, and that this is the life she’s chosen, and he tolerates her pill-popping, and that no one would put up with her medical condition AND the kids.
Several months ago, Bryan used to pal around with a kid named Travis. Then, all of the sudden, some of Bryan’s work equipment (he’s self-employed as a house painter) comes up missing, and Travis is who Bryan suspects. He wants Travis’ head on a spike.
Few months later, Travis and Bryan are all buddy-buddy again. And they promptly get arrested for robbery, theft, etc.
When the cops come by the house to talk to Bryan (who, BTW, has an outstanding warrant in a bordering county for a traffic violation…he was driving on a suspended license, got busted, was ordered to spend three days in jail, was released because they didn’t have room, was called to come in to do his three days, and never went), he decides that he can’t go back to jail, and - rather than talking to the police, who are only looking for Travis - opts to hide Travis in the attic, and crawl out a back window and hide under the house. Needless to say, the police soon found and arrested Bryan, and impounded the car that Bryan was using (which contained stolen merchandise. Bryan pled ignorance, stating that it wasn’t his car - his is in the shop, and he was borrowing it. The cops mentioned that he HAD been driving the car, and it’s parked in HIS driveway).
Bryan was two months shy of the five-year mark of his original release, meaning that he still falls into the potential “PFO,” or Persistent Felony Offender category, which means that they can tack on more years to any sentence he would receive.
While Bryan was in jail awaiting arraignment, etc, Stacey came upon the following brilliant ideas:
- To give Travis 20 Vicodin tablets in exchange for him writing a confession stating that Bryan had nothing to do with the crimes.
- To entertain the notion of confessing to the crime herself, on the grounds that it would get him released from prison (side note: Bryan’s such a loving boyfriend that, on one of her needed trips to the ER, he - because he doesn’t like hospitals - pulled up, let her out, told her he was going to park the car, then went and got high with his friends until about 4am. There’s nothing to indicate that he wouldn’t go out and party the whole time she was in jail for his crimes).
- Asked me to pay for the household groceries, so that she could use all of the money she has to pay for lawyers to get him out of jail.
She’s also been pregnant by him (oh, and he contracted syphilis while he was in jail the first time), but, thankfully, miscarried. Given her medical condition, having a baby would probably kill her. Yet she still wants one by him badly.
Bryan was released on home incarceration Thursday, until the authorities bring the indictment against him. She announced earlier today that she and Bryan are getting married tomorrow. Her logic is that the judge will go easier on Bryan, figuring that he’s a changed man, and a family man.
On top of all this, Stacey’s on social security to due disability, and receives government assistance in the forms of Section 8 and WIC. When I pointed out that these are going to end when she gets married, she explained that she was getting it done through a justice-of-the-peace, and was then going to LIE to the government, and state that they are separated, and going to divorce. That way, she can retain all of the benefits that she gets from you, me, and the rest of the taxpayers. Through fraudulent means.
I’m conflicted. I couldn’t help but pick up a few groceries, as I can’t let her kids do without because of their mother’s fucked up priorities (in my opinion, the best thing that could happen to these kids is to be taken away. And I don’t say this lightly). However, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that part of me wants to call the powers that be, and inform them. However, she’s family. And my mother’s currently living there, also. As much as my mother and I fight and don’t get along, I can’t throw her to the wolves.
When I try to talk to my cousin about this sort of thing, she turns a deaf ear, saying that she doesn’t approve of all of my decisions, either, but that they’re mine to make.
If it weren’t for the kids, I probably wouldn’t care as much. I’d care, sure. But it’s only her life that she’s fucking up. Zach’s on track to either be dead or in jail by the time he’s 16. Cade (the 6-year old) is a better kid, but has two strikes against him already. Their father is a weekend dad who is not in the position to take full custody of his kids.
If anyone ever needed a ten-foot tall hand to smack some fucking sense into her, it’s my cousin.
Idiot.
[sup]*[/sup]I try to give him the benefit of the doubt regarding his involvement. My older brother was once arrested on a similar charge, and had no knowledge that the event took place. He pulled up outside a gas station because his friend said he wanted a pack of cigarettes. His friend robbed the place, and John (my brother) drove off, an unknowing accomplice.
