So I’m at home for Easter dinner, and I’m chatting with my folks afterwards, and I laughingly complain about the money situation at my place, when my dad pipes up, “Well, you’ve gained weight! I guess you’re not doing a lot of exercising either!”
Fuck you.
I’ve been insecure about my appearance since grade fucking six, all right? Did you somehow miss this? Just where do you get off making such a ridiculously insensitive comment to your own goddamn son?
Just because I already know you’re a prick doesn’t mean you have to go and prove it any further than you already have. Jerk.
Matt: You are amazingly sexy. You look phenomenal. Were I not married, I would have pursued you quite wantonly.
Your father is insensitive. I know it hurts, especially from someone who should love you unconditionally. Know that you are wonderful and he make a major mistake.
I guess “dad” could be wrong, in which case who cares ?
However, let’s say dad is right.
So your fat. So what ? I know lots of smart people who are fat. I know lots of talented people who are fat. Hell, I even know lots of sexy people who are fat. BFD.
Seems to me mister man that the problem, as it were, lies with you.
Go whine about something else fatboy.
(Or at least get find a better reason to curse, I mean sheesh.)
My sympathies are with you, as I have had many family members pull the same kind of insensitive crap about my weight, too.
But, you know your dad is a thick-headed lout, so fuck him. There are those who know you, love you, and care about you that know you’re hot–and that’s what matters. (Heck, I’ve seen your pic and think you’re pretty damned cute)
Why in the world do parents say such hurtful things to their children?
Matt, I’ve seen the photos, you’re not fat! Not by any stretch of the imagination.
Try this approach; next time your folks ask you over, tell them: “Sorry, I can’t. I’m saving all my pennies for a gym membership. Maybe sometime later.” Do that several times and they’ll get the message.
That’s a pretty shitty thing for your dad to do, especially as this is an issue that’s plagued you for a long time. It’s amazing how cruel people (especially loved ones) can be, and just how good they are at finding your hot buttons.
I’ve had similar issues with my weight for years, and only relatively recently have gotten to a point that I’m happy with. My relatives still make the occasional comment - my father’s favorite is, ‘You know you’ll never be thin, right?’ My response is, ‘That’s a very hurtful statement. You know I’ve been sensitive about my weight, and bringing it up like that is very cruel. I would appreciate your not doing that in the future.’ Hitting them with it point-blank like that lets them know you aren’t going to take that crap from them anymore. It’s not easy, but it works.
Look him straight in the eye and say “Well, now, why don’t you run for Parliament in your riding, and if you take the seat, THEN you can come back and criticize me about my body.”
Your Dad is an angry dysfunctional parent. Rather than admire you for who and what you have made of yourself, he allows his bitterness to bile up and spew out at you over your physical appearance.
I lived this life, Matt. 6th grade? Yeah…maybe 4th or 5th for me. But when pre-puberty eased in, it did a job on me too. Sure I crack a joke about " Why go for the sixpack when you can have the whole damned keg??" regarding my belly. I’ve spent 28 years hitching up pants against a stubbornly thick tire that seems bound to stay forever. I feel your pain, mah man. As an adult, the embarassment of hanging at the beach and feeling your boobs jiggle when you shouldn’t have any is brutal.
I haven’t met you and haven’t seen your photo. If YOU Like you, then you don’t have a problem. Daddy has a problem. Bet he’ll miss contact with you for a year at a time…might make him think twice before he opens his piehole and shoves his size 9 Nike’s into it.
I think I’ve mentioned before that, to any thinking being who isn’t the size of King Kong, I can’t be called petite by any stretch of a normal imagination. My father comes out with that sort of thing on a regular basis. We could be talking about what latest thing the Pope did and my father can segue it into a one-liner about my weight.
See, he thinks he’s helping. I believe he’s sincere. He really does want to help me lose the weight, but for some reason the fact that his continual sniping hasn’t done anything to affect my health or appearance hasn’t quite sunk in.
It’s hard for me to deal with, because I know he’s not doing it to be cruel. He just, for some incredibly strange reason, thinks I forget that I’m fat and he has to remind me so that I won’t slip off my diet. He used to do the same thing to my mom (fat runs in her family…yay, genes…) and it didn’t help her either.
He occasionally tries to suppress his desire to be helpful, either out of resentment for the way we react to it, or because my mother’s managed to convince him for the time being that it doesn’t help. But he gets frustrated when (through all fault of my own) his new supportive approach doesn’t work and he snaps out with another comment.
So I sympathize, Matt. Especially since I’ve seen your pics in the People Pages and you weren’t heavy then. I doubt that you’re what I would even consider heavy now. Some people just have a distorted weight filter.
I have a somewhat plump friend who knows he’s fat and is happy with it. Would you like me to ship him up to your house so your dad can have fun with a jolly gay man?
In other news, you’re not fat. And if you are, fucking hell, I am too. We’ve got similar waistlines.
Matt sweetie…first off just ignore your dad…I know those type of comments are hurtful-my grandmother is the Queen of those comments. Last time she saw me she went into a 15 minute rant about my hair color and why oh why did I dye it SO red. I just looked at her and said “It’s MY hair,I am an adult and I can do whatever I want with it.”
And when I went through the People Pages…two pictures caused me to say “meow kitty kitty” which is hardygrrl speak for “look at the hottie.” Yours and,well I’m not saying the second but it’s NOT who everyone thinks it is. A grrl’s gotta keep some secrets
