My Dinner with Sk8man

Okay … so I’ve been up since 2:00 this morning. I come home from work and sign on just to check e-mail and the assorted oddments of my life when someone named Sk8man IMs me out of the clear blue sky. What the hell, I’m tired, he clearly an idiot and I had to share. It just got wierd after a couple of minutes. (Know thou this, that my age, sex, and location can be found in my AOL profile. The geek … )

SK8MAN7090: a/s/l
Eutychus55: uh huh
SK8MAN7090: age /sex/location
Eutychus55: too old too little and too far away
SK8MAN7090: can u just tell me please
Eutychus55: Why? I mean … I don’t know you … what attracted you to me?
Eutychus55: Was it my charming good looks?
SK8MAN7090: ya babe
Eutychus55: Oh Lordy … maybe we should talk.
SK8MAN7090: ok
Eutychus55: You don’t … like … have the ability to read profiles, do you?
SK8MAN7090: so…
SK8MAN7090: no
Eutychus55: A sad disability, to be sure.
SK8MAN7090: y
Eutychus55: Well, profiles can be such handy things when you’re trying to find out information about people. I see that you have one yourself.
SK8MAN7090: ya
Eutychus55: Sooooo … let’s take the next logical step then.
SK8MAN7090: do u have a picture
SK8MAN7090: hello you there
Eutychus55: Yes, it’s very nice … it’s of one of the ships at Mystic Connecticutt. I took it myself.
SK8MAN7090: can i have it
Eutychus55: You want a picture of a ship? It’s not even a new ship.
SK8MAN7090: can i have it
Eutychus55: Let’s get this clear. You want’t me to send you a picture. Of an 1800’s whaling ship.
SK8MAN7090: no that’s ok i wanted one of you babe
Eutychus55: I kind of look like the ship if that makes any difference.
Eutychus55: And why do you keep calling me babe?
SK8MAN7090: no u don’t i thought that u would be a fine women
Eutychus55: Well, I am fine.
Eutychus55: Blonde hair, blue eyes …

And that’s when he signed off.

Maybe I should e-mail him thanking him for such a scintillating conversation?

Saint Eutychus H.M.S.H.
" ‘He is a prince’ , the minstrels sing.
Among men, yes. Among fools he is a king."

Disney Shorts
The Eutychus Papers

Eutychus, you dog! You’ve made another catch.

Save this person’s e-mail address, and start a torrid on-line romance! Make sure you update us on any further developments.

Wow! There must be some REALLY good drugs out there these days.

How do people that stupid every learn how to use a computer?

(You babe, Euty :wink: )

Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.

This is new to you Euty? Geezz the stories I could tell ya! :wink:

I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!

I mean what’s in a profile anyway? Is the information real? Do those zeros and ones that read blue eyes in a profile express reality as you, or I, know it?

That’s nothing. Back on the days when I was on AOL a lot, someone IMed me. I was feeling especially sadistic, so I started in. I swear to god, I had this guy convinced that in Vermont, it is not only socially acceptable to have as much body hair as humanly possible, but it is considered a mark of beauty, because it means that you are less likely to freeze to death. He bought it. Completely. I saved the conversation (and e-mailed it to 20 of my closest friends), but it’s on my parent’s computer. I’ll try and find it this weekend.

DON PEDRO: Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour.

BEATRICE: No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. -Much Ado About Nothing, Act II, Sc: i