My Dinner with Sk8man

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Okay … so I’ve been up since 2:00 this morning. I come home from work and sign on just to check e-mail and the assorted oddments of my life when someone named Sk8man IMs me out of the clear blue sky. What the hell, I’m tired, he clearly an idiot and I had to share. It just got wierd after a couple of minutes. (Know thou this, that my age, sex, and location can be found in my AOL profile. The geek … )

SK8MAN7090: a/s/l
Eutychus55: uh huh
SK8MAN7090: age /sex/location
Eutychus55: too old too little and too far away
SK8MAN7090: can u just tell me please
Eutychus55: Why? I mean … I don’t know you … what attracted you to me?
Eutychus55: Was it my charming good looks?
SK8MAN7090: ya babe
Eutychus55: Oh Lordy … maybe we should talk.
SK8MAN7090: ok
Eutychus55: You don’t … like … have the ability to read profiles, do you?
SK8MAN7090: so…
SK8MAN7090: no
Eutychus55: A sad disability, to be sure.
SK8MAN7090: y
Eutychus55: Well, profiles can be such handy things when you’re trying to find out information about people. I see that you have one yourself.
SK8MAN7090: ya
Eutychus55: Sooooo … let’s take the next logical step then.
SK8MAN7090: do u have a picture
SK8MAN7090: hello you there
Eutychus55: Yes, it’s very nice … it’s of one of the ships at Mystic Connecticutt. I took it myself.
SK8MAN7090: can i have it
Eutychus55: You want a picture of a ship? It’s not even a new ship.
SK8MAN7090: can i have it
Eutychus55: Let’s get this clear. You want’t me to send you a picture. Of an 1800’s whaling ship.
SK8MAN7090: no that’s ok i wanted one of you babe
Eutychus55: I kind of look like the ship if that makes any difference.
Eutychus55: And why do you keep calling me babe?
SK8MAN7090: no u don’t i thought that u would be a fine women
Eutychus55: Well, I am fine.
Eutychus55: Blonde hair, blue eyes …

And that’s when he signed off.

Maybe I should e-mail him thanking him for such a scintillating conversation?

Saint Eutychus H.M.S.H.
" ‘He is a prince’ , the minstrels sing.
Among men, yes. Among fools he is a king."
Disney Shorts
The Eutychus Papers

2

Eutychus, you dog! You’ve made another catch.

Save this person’s e-mail address, and start a torrid on-line romance! Make sure you update us on any further developments.

3

Wow! There must be some REALLY good drugs out there these days.

How do people that stupid every learn how to use a computer?

(You babe, Euty :wink: )

Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.

4

This is new to you Euty? Geezz the stories I could tell ya! :wink:

I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!

5

I mean what’s in a profile anyway? Is the information real? Do those zeros and ones that read blue eyes in a profile express reality as you, or I, know it?

6

That’s nothing. Back on the days when I was on AOL a lot, someone IMed me. I was feeling especially sadistic, so I started in. I swear to god, I had this guy convinced that in Vermont, it is not only socially acceptable to have as much body hair as humanly possible, but it is considered a mark of beauty, because it means that you are less likely to freeze to death. He bought it. Completely. I saved the conversation (and e-mailed it to 20 of my closest friends), but it’s on my parent’s computer. I’ll try and find it this weekend.

DON PEDRO: Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour.

BEATRICE: No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. -Much Ado About Nothing, Act II, Sc: i