My Downstairs Neighbor is an Abusive Bitch

The BBQ Pit
21

Kicking is bad, but I yell at my cat sometimes. I think you’d have to be crazy to think that was a good reason to take my cats away from me.

I have one cat that will stop doing what she’s doing if I so much as look at her funny, and another cat that will not stop doing what she’s doing if I squirt her with a spray bottle of water, if she wants to do it badly enough. Sometimes I crack and yell at her. Yelling usually gets her attention. That’s why I resort to it.

Sometimes I even yell at her really loudly.

Somebody needed to say it.

22

Letting the people who own the dogs would be the best way to deal with it, I think. That’ll cost the neighbor a lot of money, it’ll help the dogs, and it doesn’t have any legal aspect. However, you had better be darn sure about the abuse and have some evidence first.

23

pbbth - can we get an update? Anything new?

24

I emailed the ASPCA and told them what I had heard but that I hadn’t seen anything during that particular incident. I did tell them that once before I had seen her lift her dog completely off the ground by his leash and that I hear her screaming at him regularly. (Which, granted, means nothing as I occasionally scream at my cat when he insists on jumping on the counter and knocking over my collectible Beatles salt and pepper shakers 5 or 6 times in a row, but still…)

I also told them that she runs a dog sitting business out of her home. I haven’t heard back from them yet (I gave them my email and my phone number to contact me with any questions) but hopefully they will check on the situation and do what is best for the animals. I am sincerely hoping I am wrong about what I heard and they find that she provides a loving home, albeit full of screaming, for her dog. I don’t think they will, but I hope she doesn’t abuse her dog and I hope that by reporting her I am not taking away her only source of income. I don’t want to lose sleep over it though so I have reported it and now I will let the authorities do what they feel is best for the situation as a whole.

25

You’ve taken the first step.

I hate to warn you, but…this is a hard road to take – the guilty party is all but certain to take this personally and turn that temper on you. And other people often are less than helpful, turning blind eyes or claiming that it’s none of their business, or worse, accusing you of snooping or being controlling. It can be very unpleasant to try and intervene to help an abused animal.

Of course if you do nothing that animal will continue to live in fear, pain, and bewilderment. Sucks either way.

Only a witness can step up and help him. Only you.

Thank you.

Sailboat

26

[QUOTE=pbbth]
My downstairs neighbor is a horrible, abusive cunt. I have always heard her screaming at her dog but I haven’t ever said anything to her about it. Until yesterday.

I passed by her apartment on my way out of the building and stopped to listen to her screaming at the dog for a second when all of the sudden I heard the sound of either a fist or a foot connecting with the dog, a yelp, and then the sound of the dog hitting the ground. I banged on the door and screamed at her to stop hitting her dog and finished taking out my garbage. When I came back up the stairs her apartment was quiet.

I wrote her a letter explaining to her what I had heard and the fact that if I hear it again I will call the SPCA from outside her apartment so that they can listen to her beating her dog too before they come take her dog away. I have never been so angry at a neighbor in my life, and that includes the guy who used to live above me and made sounds like he was masturbating with his vacuum cleaner.

The worst part of all of this is that while I am at work all day she works at home watching other people’s dogs for them. She has about 6 regular customers who all bring their pets to her during the day so she can watch them while they go to work. This is how she earns her money. By fucking abusing animals when their owners aren’t around. Now every time I walk by her apartment I fight the urge to spray paint a warning to her customers on her door. Fucking bitch.
[/QUOTE]

May I inject some reality into this? You heard thru a door what you think was either a fist or a foot contacting with a dog, then a yelp, then what you *think *was the dog
“hitting the ground”, and from this very little information you have decided that your neighbor is an abusive owner, er cunt. I’d say that it is far more likely that because you appear sensitive to people yelling, you have simply decided that the noises you heard must be abuse. So, not only do you want see if you can get the dog taken from her you also want to take income from her, all because you don’t like that she yells?

How about you MYOB unless and until you actually witness actual abuse? Yelling is not necessarily abuse, it all depends on what the dog is used to. I’m Irish, I yell and unless I back it up with something else our cat and all but one dog ignore it. So yelling in and of itself is not abuse. Everything else you heard thru a door and colored it with your previous misconception of your neighbor. I would say it is far more likely that she didn’t abuse the dog - one yelp is surprise, continued yelping is required for pain or fear. She probably swatted the dog on the bum and it jumped off the couch. If there was real abuse going on there you would be hearing much more from the dogs.

I am so fucking tired of “a kinder gentler America”

Kathy

27

[QUOTE=pbbth]
I haven’t heard back from them yet (I gave them my email and my phone number to contact me with any questions) but hopefully they will check on the situation and do what is best for the animals
[/QUOTE]
What power does the SPCA in your area have? Can they really remove animals from abusive homes? Generally that is a matter for government officials.

28

[QUOTE=curlcoat]
If there was real abuse going on there you would be hearing much more from the dogs.

[/quote]

Not necessarily.

Huh? What the hell are you talking about?

29

[QUOTE=EJsGirl]
Not necessarily.
[/QUOTE]

99.99% of the time in my 40+ years of dog training. Dogs vocalize when they are hurt and/or scared. Even if the neighbor had been holding the dog’s mouth closed, the OP would have heard thru the door if it was trying to cry out in pain or fear.

[QUOTE=EJsGirl]
Huh? What the hell are you talking about?
[/QUOTE]

I am sick to death of people reacting to anything that might in someway cause anything else a brief moment of pain or fear or discomfort as if limbs had been broken, gallons of blood had been spilled and many had died. This seemed to come with Bush Sr’s “kinder gentler America” so I just blame it on him.

Kathy

30

[QUOTE=curlcoat]
I am sick to death of people reacting to anything that might in someway cause anything else a brief moment of pain or fear or discomfort as if limbs had been broken, gallons of blood had been spilled and many had died. This seemed to come with Bush Sr’s “kinder gentler America” so I just blame it on him.

Kathy
[/QUOTE]

The OP wasn’t reacting to a might, it was nearly an eyewitness account of abuse. And OP stated having seen neighbor pick dog up by collar before. Obviously there is a pattern forming here, and the OP did something to stop it.
I’d prefer to err on the side of caution most of the time, so when the little kids across the street is getting abused, I’m not going to look the other way, you go ahead and do that, and rest easy each night.

And I blame countless abuses on people like you who turn the other way, so fuck you.

31

Stuff like this why I just shrug when I hear about someone getting their face ripped off by an animal. We’re at the top of the food chain in general; individual results may vary.

32

I would say I handled it quite well. I never said a word when all I heard was screaming. I escalated it when I heard what sounded like physical abuse and not a moment sooner. I was very clear in my email to the SPCA that all I wanted was for them to check the situation out and if they find no evidence of abuse then nothing more will come of it.

It is people who turn a blind eye because they “didn’t exactly see it happen and I would hate to accuse an innocent person yadda yadda” even though they know what is going on that make me sick. I hope whomever watches your children/pets/elderly parents has neighbors just like you who won’t do a fucking thing about what they think could be an abusive situation until there is a corpse being hauled out of the door. I didn’t go down there and steal her dog or anything, I simply reported to the authorities that it sounds like she is beating the shit out of her dog. If I am wrong nothing more will be said to her and she will not lose her business. If I am right I might have saved the life of her dog and the dogs of 6 other people. I will err on the side of caution, thank you very much.

33

[QUOTE=curlcoat]
99.99% of the time in my 40+ years of dog training. Dogs vocalize when they are hurt and/or scared. Even if the neighbor had been holding the dog’s mouth closed, the OP would have heard thru the door if it was trying to cry out in pain or fear.

I am sick to death of people reacting to anything that might in someway cause anything else a brief moment of pain or fear or discomfort as if limbs had been broken, gallons of blood had been spilled and many had died. This seemed to come with Bush Sr’s “kinder gentler America” so I just blame it on him.

Kathy
[/QUOTE]

You seem very confused about a number of things. But thanks for sharing.

34

[QUOTE=pbbth]
I didn’t go down there and steal her dog or anything, I simply reported to the authorities that it sounds like she is beating the shit out of her dog.
[/QUOTE]
I’m not trying to pick on you here, but I don’t think that reporting her to the SPCA is reporting her to “the authorities.” I see nothing in their mission statement to suggest that they have any authority at all to remove a dog from it’s home. Please correct me if I am wrong, but your local Animal Control, or it’s equivalent, is a more likely resource. And be prepared for them to tell you that unless they witness abuse they are powerless to act.

If you think she is abusing her dog, and possibly others, and want to stop it, you may have better luck offering to buy the dog from her and re-homing it, and reporting her business to the Code Enforcement Bureau.

35

[QUOTE=Labelless]
The OP wasn’t reacting to a might, it was nearly an eyewitness account of abuse.
[/QUOTE]

No, ear witness. She heard noise thru the door that she decided had to be abusive simply because she doesn’t like the way the neighbor yells.

[QUOTE=Labelless]
And OP stated having seen neighbor pick dog up by collar before.
[/QUOTE]

Simply briefly picking up a dog by the collar isn’t abuse either. You all really should look into the actual definition of abuse before freaking out all over strangers. I suppose you also think spanking children is child abuse?

[QUOTE=Labelless]

Obviously there is a pattern forming here, and the OP did something to stop it.
I’d prefer to err on the side of caution most of the time, so when the little kids across the street is getting abused, I’m not going to look the other way, you go ahead and do that, and rest easy each night.
[/QUOTE]

Snort. I blame the fact that noone can discipline a child or pet in public in any way at all, no matter how mild on people like you because you cannot keep your uninformed nose out of people’s business. Simply because you don’t like something doesn’t make it wrong, much less abuse. FWIW, in case you would really like to know, the legal definition of abuse has to do with result, not necessarily action (well, at least for pets - I don’t know squat about child abuse). I rest well at night knowing that I haven’t caused havoc in an innocent home just because I don’t happen to like my neighbors or the way they raise their kids/pets.

[QUOTE=Labelless]

And I blame countless abuses on people like you who turn the other way, so fuck you.
[/QUOTE]

Ah, well, you couldn’t afford to pay for it and obviously don’t have enough intelligence to make it interesting enough to do it for free, so I’ll have to turn down your offer.

For the record, I am not “turning the other way”, I am looking at this in a realistic, experienced way - not just reacting thru misguided emotion. It is entirely possible that the OP’s neighbor is abusing her dog, but based on the facts presented here, she isn’t. But hey, feel good about turning her life upside down without bothering to find out if you should. You can feel good about abusing the owner on the off chance she is abusing her dog. Go ahead, pat yourself on the back. :rolleyes:

Kathy

36

[QUOTE=pbbth]

It is people who turn a blind eye because they “didn’t exactly see it happen and I would hate to accuse an innocent person yadda yadda” even though they know what is going on that make me sick.

[/QUOTE]

The whole thing is, you do not know what is going on, you are only making assumptions based on what you heard once thru a door. You have even gone on to accuse her of abusing her clients, based only on what you heard once involving her own dog. You haven’t said a thing about her even yelling at the client dogs, much less abusing them.

[QUOTE=pbbth]

I hope whomever watches your children/pets/elderly parents has neighbors just like you who won’t do a fucking thing about what they think could be an abusive situation until there is a corpse being hauled out of the door.

[/QUOTE]

Oh fercrissakes, way to be humane! You hope that my non-existent children or elderly parents are hauled out as corpses to pay me back for being realistic in this situation? For trying to throw some reason into what was turning into a mob mentality? FWIW, the housesitter that takes care of my dogs and cat when I & my husband are away is very good, but I would know right away if she was being abusive, since I actually have experience with and know what the signs of that are.

[QUOTE=pbbth]

I didn’t go down there and steal her dog or anything, I simply reported to the authorities that it sounds like she is beating the shit out of her dog.
[/QUOTE]

So, you are proud that you didn’t save the dog you thought she was beating the shit out of and instead are just trying to cause her grief and maybe lose income? How is that the humane thing to do?

[QUOTE=pbbth]

If I am wrong nothing more will be said to her and she will not lose her business. If I am right I might have saved the life of her dog and the dogs of 6 other people. I will err on the side of caution, thank you very much.
[/QUOTE]

Maybe your problem is you don’t know what happens when a charge of abuse has been made, whether it is happening or not. Do you? I would say no since you seem to feel that “all” that will happen is nothing more will be said to her. Fortunately for your neighbor, if she is indeed innocent, false charges of animal abuse are easier to get out of than those of child abuse, but they are still a major pain in the ass to deal with. And, she may still lose her business because her clients won’t believe her even if found innocent. Good on you for messing up her life just because you like to jump the gun - I mean, err on the side of caution.

Kathy

37

Individually, it might not seem so bad, but taken together, it just looks really bad. Obviously we can’t tell because we don’t know this woman, but it doesn’t look all that good. Constant screaming, lifting the dog by the collar and possibly hearing him get kicked…I feel like anyone could make a mistake once in a while, but all of them?

38

[QUOTE=EJsGirl]
You seem very confused about a number of things. But thanks for sharing.
[/QUOTE]

Well, gosh. 40+ years in dogs, decades working for shelters which included rehabbing actual abuse cases, decades giving training classes to the general public who quite recently seem to think that if Fluffy yelps at all they should fall all over themselves giving her cookies to “make up for it”. Etc.

AND having to provide a home to a man for a year, who was thrown out of the condo he owned because his girlfriend claimed he was abusing her daughters. Which he wasn’t doing, which she later admitted to just before she booked for Florida, leaving said daughters behind. Yeah, charging abuse without proof is just “erring on the side of caution”. That man was literally on the street with only the clothes on his back and the car he’d driven up in and I have no idea what would have happened if my husband hadn’t brought him home from work the next day when he showed up in those same clothes.

But hey, I bow to your obvious superiority based on your emotional reaction to an overblown story. :rolleyes:

Kathy

39

[QUOTE=Freudian Slit]
Individually, it might not seem so bad, but taken together, it just looks really bad. Obviously we can’t tell because we don’t know this woman, but it doesn’t look all that good. Constant screaming, lifting the dog by the collar and possibly hearing him get kicked…I feel like anyone could make a mistake once in a while, but all of them?
[/QUOTE]

Shrug, it’s hard to tell. Since the OP was so full of emotion, it is difficult to tell what is real and what is exaggeration. If nothing else, as I said earlier, I yell simply because that is who I am, and my dogs don’t care - that could be the “constant screaming” in the OP. Lifting the dog by the collar could have been a momentary frustration that hasn’t been repeated and that action in itself didn’t sound bad at all. As for the kicking, I honestly don’t think if a Chihuahua had been kicked, there would only have been one yelp. Those dogs are not known for their lack of vocalization… :dubious:

Plus, if I were living next to this woman, I’d be talking to her or at least making a point of trying to get real evidence before I started hauling in any authority. Or even talk to the clients - “hey, my sister is thinking about having her dog go to a sitter, what do you think of Neighbor?” Any dog owner worth spit is going to know if their dog likes going to the sitter or not. The OP wants props for having “saved seven dogs from abuse” but she doesn’t want to bother to find out if anything was actually happening before she turns this woman’s life upside down.

Also as I said earlier, I used to volunteer at a local shelter to work with dogs who had been abused, to see if they could be adopted out. More recently, when I was still doing public classes, I would get dogs that the owners were now afraid of because every time the dog yelped they would apologize to it. Dogs aren’t stupid and they are animals - in that sort of set up they will take control, and many will start biting if they aren’t getting their way, right away. So, should I agree with the OP that animal control should be called simply because she heard one yelp thru a door?

Kathy

40

[QUOTE=curlcoat]

Plus, if I were living next to this woman, I’d be talking to her or at least making a point of trying to get real evidence before I started hauling in any authority.
[/QUOTE]

A few points: First, the OP said in the very first post that she had written a letter to the neighbor.

Second, if I hear kick, yelp, loud thud, I’m thinking, someone kicked the dog and it hit the floor; not, “Oh, the loving dog owner that screams constantly at her animal probably just tripped over something in her apartment.”

Third, I don’t know about animals, but as for kids, yelling at them constantly isn’t really all that healthy, even if you’re “just a yeller” and that’s just how you are, going through life yelling at people and animals around you. :rolleyes:

And finally, the OP actually seemed fairly rational, calm, and collected to me, especially compared with the angry, vitriolic screeds you’ve been posting in this thread. Dude, there are other ways to interact with people than by yelling at them. Even on the Internet. Maybe you should give it a try sometime.