Urgh I know the feeling. My aunt is currently not talking to my mom because my mom hired a professional to decorate a room for my sister’s wedding; this freed up my aunts, mom, myself, and several friends to go to the spa and attend a dinner and have fun rather than decorating. Since my aunt had purchased several small items at the dollar store to add to the decorations (seriously - it was a Christmas wedding, and she’d bought candles and ornaments) this was somehow a slight against her even though those decorations were, in fact, used.
Aunt flew off to winter in Florida, thereby missing the wedding - something which devastated my sister - as well as her own granddaughter’s first birthday. Over $20 worth of dollar store ornaments.
My sister entirely cut me out of her life because I arranged a get together, (an hour, over drinks), between her grown son and his wife, and my daughter, (put up for adoption, since in reunion, long story), it was thrown together at the last minute, (I was caregiving, at the time, and unsure I could get away!), and all the players, (except myself, visiting from a city, 2 hrs away, for the weekend!), lived in Toronto. My sin? I had failed to invite her. The reason? She lived in Ottawa.
Seriously who thinks to invite someone living in Ottawa, for drinks in Toronto, at the last minute?
Lost her freaking shit over it.
Haven’t seen or heard from her since, it must be almost 5 yrs now. She was here to attend my brother’s memorial, but was veritably throbbing with waves of seething anger. In my home, eating my food, getting driven around by my husband!
I think the OP and I, must be distantly related. And I agree about the tribe you’re given and the tribe you create!
Has / had your sister every met your daughter before?
Just how last minute is last minute?
While I wouldn’t get umbraged up about it, if my family had done that to me though I would be a bit peeved. I have a sister that was adopted out that I’ve never seen, I could totally see myself making a 5 hour drive to go visit her for the first time given the opportunity - even if it meant dropping everything for a weekend, or taking one day of emergency leave from work.
Assuming of course the “last minute” you refer is a dinner for tomorrow night, or maybe was done early in the morning for that evening.
My wife’s family has a nasty riff over something my wife said to her aunt when she was about 11 years old. That was over 45 years ago. My wife does not even remember it. The aunt says “she knows what I am talking about”. The aunts family has been careful to avoid any family function that my wife attends. They do not know what happened, but they don’t cross her.
How fucking stupid and childish can people be?
Two of my great uncles apparently had a similar rift in their family (no one knows or cares, decades later) over what. They lived next door to each other and didn’t speak for 40 years.
One of my Aunts was resentful of my mother for years because my mother cried at her wedding to my mother’s brother. That meant Mom didn’t think she was good enough.
Idiot woman, my Mom cried at weddings in TV commercials!
