Ditto!
End it with a Dirty Sanchez, take a picture, post it on Facebook and and send it to her and Fred.
I’m wondering this as well.
OP: Has it occurred to you that your life has a bit of drama to it? I’m honestly not trying to bust your chops too much here but this stuff reads like high school nonsense. Although you didn’t do anything wrong by taking a pic with your female friend, your responses here are fairly immature and silly.
If you’re over the age of 21 then you’re too old for this. If you’re over 25 you really, really are too old for this. IIRC you have enough issues going on with your own life. Quit inviting yourself into more drama and work on handling your own business.
No, I get that. I knew she was going to post it on Facebook but didn’t think she was going to send him a personal copy. I didn’t think about it at the time but I should’ve known he would have got pissed. I didn’t think he would get that pissed.
I gotta say though it was a really funny picture.
I live in PA. I’m 27. I agree I’m too old for this, hence the reason I’m a bit dumbfounded at my friends reaction. Please, keep in mind Fred assaulted me and tried to spit on me, and I did not retaliate. I shouldn’t have threatened him back via text. My anger got the best of me in that situation.
At this point, I have no intention of threatening or fighting him, but I can’t say the same for him. I’d like to handle this the best way I can. I’m sure that means “don’t go to that bar anymore.” However, it feels like I would be backing down to a bully. I think I will lay low for the next couple of weeks and go other places.
Honestly!?
If you don’t want to back down to a bully, go about your normal life. Go where you want to go and do what you want to do. Besides, laying low sends a message of avoidance and can be interpreted as you are either scared or guilty, or both.
Tell Fred, and Chantelle for that matter, to their faces that you really don’t care about their issues and you aren’t going to get involved emotionally or physically. Then ignore all future communication.
…and knock off the passive-aggressive shit like texting, Facebook, and going to the bouncers. If he’s drunk, agressive, and being a dick they will notice but you don’t have to be a tattle-tale.
I was actually in a sort of similar situation years ago. I was at a party and a girl that I was friends with and I went to pose for a picture. The person taking the picture said “do something funny” and one of us said, “let’s kiss!”. We kissed (closed mouth, very theatrical looking) and went on with the party. A bit later there’s all of a sudden huge drama unfolding because her ex-bf, who was also my friend, was there and she either told him about the picture or showed it to him, and he got super pissed off - at her, not with me at all. It was all part of his manipulation of her, which wasn’t uncommon thing for him to do with his exes. So my friend was never pissed off at me, or tried to fight me or anything, but just the same - a fun, innocent moment between friends blew up into all kinds of high-school level drama. We were late 20s at the time.
I wish it was that easy. He punched me and tried to spit on me and there were no bouncers around to see anything. I am somewhat scared. I don’t want to get banned from the places I frequent, arrested or something worse.
I disagree with the idea that avoiding the bar and choosing to go elsewhere for the time being means he is backing down to a bully. I think its just not engaging intentionally with him knowing he was a participant in instigating this. To be willing to acknowledge his role in it and simply trying to not engage him is a wise thing to do. Its just not adding more drama on top of a situation he contributed to
My lawyer said I should I call the police.
nm- do what the lawyer says.
My friend who’s a cop said not call the cops since I would probably get arrested too for my threats. Looks like I’m laying low. If I see him again and he attacks me, I might let him or just cover myself. Hope somebody breaks it up and call the police.
Taking your story at face value, the best answer is to stay away from both of them, even if that means not going to a bar you like for a few weeks. Seriously, Fred is a jerk and he’s deflecting his anger onto you, you say you don’t really like him anyway, so there’s no reason to maintain a friendship with him. Chantelle was emotionally manipulating you, even if it was unintentional, though I would seriously doubt that based on your OP, that’s not someone you should be around.
Yeah, maybe you give up going to your bar for a couple weeks, and maybe he thinks you’re a wuss or whatever. Who cares? You said you’re 27, you’re WAY WAY too old to get involved with that, and going to another bar, hanging out with other friends, or staying home are all a hell of a lot better options than inserting yourself into a bad situation.
Unless you think he’s going to come to your home or job, I wouldn’t bother the police. Chances are they wouldn’t do anything more than take a report that won’t really do much good anyway. Once you feel like stuff has cooled down, then go back to whatever you want to do, and if it still gets bad after that long, then you may want to consider harder whether you really want to keep going to that bar and if the police should get involved. Even if everything is calmed down in a couple weeks and Fred apologizes, I’d still suggest minimizing your contact with him
Did the lawyer say you should call the police if he tries to attack you, or that you should call to tell them he said he wants to kick your ass? Im not a lawyer but I would only call the.police if he attacks you. I would not call just to tell them he wants to kick your ass because you put pictures on facebook. This will make the police shake their heads asking “you called us for this?”
Lawyer said I should call the police for the threats even though I told him I sent threats of my own. He didn’t seem to care much. My friend who’s a cop said I needed to call the police that night he assaulted me and now it’s too late. Another thing I forgot to mention is I am on probation for a DUI. So, by being in a bar, I would probably be violating my own probation. I really need to avoid Fred at all costs.
You should probably just start following the orders of your probation.
I liked Silver Linings Playbook, but this is just a cheap knock-off drama.
Errrr…what Sahir, Bob, BM and Sparky said.
So are you continuing to drive under the influence then when you are out at these bars? I’m assuming you are driving yourself to and from the bars, correct? And I’m also assuming you are drinking at these bars, correct?
Do that.
Document everything.
Spend zero time with either of them until they sort their sh-t out.
PS- If I wish that you’d spend your time with people who wouldn’t pull this sort of attention-whore crap on you, does that make me a bad person?
- Bad Person: population 1 *
OK, when I get home I’m going looking for the spy camera in my home gym.:eek:
What threats? Maybe I missed it, just did a quick read, but all I have seen here is that you told him if he laid a finger on you, that you would fuck him up. That isn’t a threat, that is self-defense.
When did you notice Fred was a real A-hole, before or after his break-up to Chantelle? I too, don’t think it’s a class act for Chantelle to be sending out pics of herself and you to him, which she knew would hurt him and probably set him off since you and he had a friendship at least at one time. I’m sure the thought has occurred to you of why she may be singling you out for some of this drama that she is helping create though. She seems to be using you by showing you off as a trophy and that you are friends with her now, and she probably wants him to think it’s even possibly more than just that. I’m guessing you don’t mind much, she’s probably someone you find attractive and wouldn’t mind boning, and you play your cards right, she’d probably let you, if for no other reason than to get back at him even more if he has hurt her that much. But how objective can you be to your friend (or ex-friend) when puddintane is involved?
But overall, since he did break up with her, and not the other way around, he shouldn’t give a damn who she sleeps with now. Just be careful, man.