I’m still laughing at this one.
My husband is highly intelligent and sometimes I get a bug up my ass about him being better at everything. I remember one particularly insecure week I was brooding about what I perceived as his superior abilities, and he was in the kitchen. He turned to me with a potato in hand and said, “Okay, how do I do this?”
I felt better. But not quite as good as the time he complained to me his potatoes were not mashing properly because he hadn’t cooked them first. Or the time I blew his mind by telling him a covered pot boils faster than an uncovered pot because it traps heat. Yes, I do all the cooking.
I sure do wish you would stop doing this to yourself. You are a good person, a great mother and you know how to spell and use punctuation.
But to go back to laughing at our beloved dumdums, my really smart hubs is in charge of purchasing appliances that meet my specifications. Last year, we bought a new front loading washing machine and had it delivered and hooked up.
A few weeks ago, mom told hubs that she needed to do some laundry. Hubs told her that the washer was probably in the laundry nook, but maybe it was in the hobby room. Then he found me to ask where we keep the clothes washing machine now.
Yeah, he still ticks all the boxes. Good to look at, nice to our cats and my mom, fun in bed and sometimes dumb as a box of rocks. Over 30 years without killing each other, I think we are doing OK.
Yeah, that’s what we are talking about right there!!!
I am now dying to somehow work this into a conversation. Further, I’m curious as to specifics, but it’s probably better left to my imagination. Most sex is like that, I believe.
When my brother was a teenager, he made raw potato salad for a family picnic. It went undiscovered until we all tried to eat it.
You don’t cook the lettuce when making a Caesar salad, right? So then why should you cook the potatoes when making a potato salad?
Please remind me never to eat chicken salad you have made. 
What a delightful turn of phrase. I’m going to have to steal this for my ribald fiction.
Oh Lord Jesus, it’s a fahr!
She said he was “hot,” though. Supposedly that’s not allowed for short males.
Ha!!!
I have an affinity for short men. But then I’m not that tall myself.
Gatopescado already made the self-deprecating joke I was going to make.
I did have an ex who fell for the “dihydrogen monoxide” prank**. They did have the common sense to bring it up with me and I disabused them of their worries.
Honestly, I’ve been pretty lucky with the people I’ve been able to date. It’s just they had the bad taste to chose me.
NB: I’m not down on myself. I’ve been steadily working on being a better person for years. It’s a never-ending process.
** Dihydrogen monoxide is found in large quantities in cancerous cells! Excessive exposure to dihydrogen monoxide can result in death! Etc. “Dihydrogen monoxide” is also a tortured but accurate name for “water”. All the prank statements were true, but framed in such a way as to make it sound menacing.
When did Illinois change the law? I was pulled over in Zion, Illinois back in 1975 for making a right turn on red. The officer did not believe me when I told him it was legal in Washington state. I think that distracted him enough to not notice that the 1961 Ford Falcon I was driving had a Kentucky registration and Pennsylvania plates. He radioed in and found that I was telling the truth.
The story of the Falcon is a story of it’s own.
Without looking it up, I would have guessed 1976. I was certainly a teenager at the time. It was highly controversial in Chicago because of the possible effect on pedestrians and many intersections did not allow it. The joke was that if you came to an intersection that allowed it you’d turn right even if you didn’t want to go that way, just because you could.
According to Wikipedia, left-on-red from a two-way onto a one-way street is generally legal (after stopping and yielding, of course) in British Columbia, Alaska, Idaho, Michigan, Oregon, and Washington. I’ve driven in two of those jurisdictions without having any idea of that rule.
IIRC, Connecticut was the last holdout and changed its mind circa 1980. A lot of states changed during the gas shortages in the mid-70s.
Dunno about Illinois.
I know nothing about your ex, but my diploma (Queen’s University, Kingston) is ENTIRELY in Latin. I was surprised when my wife’s diplomas - from different universities - were in English. I assumed they all did it in Latin because it looks so smarty pants.
Not only that, you don’t cook Caesar…
On a vaguely related note, I dated a guy in grad school (that is to say, when I was in grad school; he was not academically inclined) who was unaware that there were different kinds of lettuce, and kept asking whether any kind of lettuce other than iceberg was “cabbage.”