I’m posting this in the pit because I’m probably going to start swearing soon, but right now I’m still shaking so much it’s hard to type, so bear with me. I was driving into work today, minding my own business, when a cop cut me off. No, not just cut me off. He came out of the carpool lane illegally (not to mention he was in the carpool lane illegally) and without signaling came within about an inch of hitting my car. In fact, he would have hit my car if I hadn’t seen him coming and swerved/skidded out of his way. While getting my car back under control, I (stupidly, in hindsight) stuck my hand out the window and flashed him the bird. Mr. Highway Patrol did not like this. Much flashing of lights and hand signaling later, we are both on the side of the highway. He comes storming up to the car and starts screaming, “Who the hell do you think you are! You were all over the road, and then you give me the finger??!! I ought to run you in!” and so on. I asked him if he has any “fucking idea” what he just did (he doesn’t) and the screaming continues. I began to get really tired of him yelling at me, so I asked him for his badge number. He ignored that and kept yelling. I asked him again. He said ok. I said, “Wait, let me get a pen.” This is where it gets interesting. I opened the compartment next to me to get out a pad. To do this I turned my upper body, opened the compartment with my right hand, and reached in with my left. Ok, I know, stupid thing to do. This is what I heard as I did this (I had my back to him): “Freeze! Motherfucker! Freeze! If you move one goddamn inch I’ll blow your fucking head off” I froze, and slowly turned my head to see a gun about 10 inches away from my face. I could actually see down the barrel a little. To those of you who have not experienced this, I would not recommend it. I’m not scared by much, but having a man about the same age as me point a gun at my head while screaming about how he’s going to use it is a boxer-changing experience. I quietly started talking about how I was just going for a pad of paper. By this time, backup had arrived, so I got out of my car (“Hands first!!” “No sudden moves!!”), got patted down and then watched by one cop while another searched my car. They found nothing. Duh. At this point, everyone seemed to realize that the situation had gone a lot farther than we had all wanted it to. I got a lecture about road rage (HAH!) and making sudden movements while being pulled over, and they let me go. Just like that. So now I’m at work, much calmer now, and I really should do something productive.
In closing, I know I handled the situation badly. I did many things I should not have done. Mr. CHP did as well. What a way to start the day.