Sounds like it’s all working itself out. I won’t bore you with the platitudes, except in the sense that some of them are true. You ARE in my thoughts, and you do have my sympathy for your loss. For what it’s worth, which is probably very little.
Here’s to hoping he got his need for breaking down in solitude over with last night and you can move forward in your grieving together today.
And get a nap. I’m betting you didn’t sleep all that well last night, and that never helps.
Concur - he doesn’t really need to apologize, but if it makes him feel better to do so, well, then …
My sympathies to you both.
{{{{picu and hubbuy}}}}
And you can come here just to vent.
Because sometimes it is hard to be the “secondary griever” - you get the feelings of your own grief - but you also have to not only put up with, but be supportive of, the apparently irrational behavior of the primary grievers - who, in the warped perception of grief, at least have their illogical (and frankly sometimes abusive) behavior excused by grief while you try and suck it up and be someone else’s rock.
My sister lost her mother in law this week as well. She was in her 80s and had spent the past 15 years in a sequence of memory loss homes, then memory loss nursing homes, finally hospice. For ten years she has seldom recognized anyone. They made the hospice decision the previous week and knew it wouldn’t be long. Years to get prepared, with death coming as a relief from a life that had become a trap. But she was still a mess when she called me, and I suspect her husband was far worse.
When my brother in law died I used a few people to vent off of so I could get the sympathy and support I craved and needed in order to be able to support my husband.
Condolences to you and your family.
You know that it has always been different, but not that it will always be.
I feel I need to clear something up. Hubby apologized to me for the anger he directed at me. It was truely undeserved. I won’t go into detail, but I did deserve that apology.
People often lash out at others when they are in pain. I’ve been on the receiving end. I put it down to [cause of lashing out] and let it go.
Yes, I have let it go. He still has moments, but he’s now trying to find someone to blame.
The live-in care giver is today’s target. That will also change as time goes on I’m sure.