Once upon a time, about 2 months ago when i was employed and life was sweet with the constant drudgery of mopping fuel additives off the floor. I was enjoying an after work smoke session with my roommate and his girlfriend. We were already well toasted and joking around and the girl commented that it must be uncomfortable given how loud they were when doing the deed. Her jaw hit the floor and she looked absolutely crestfallen when I told her I never heard anything. I was confused that she was upset that I had not violated her privacy, Maybe, she expected to find me at their door with an empty glass in one hand and my penis in the other? I don’t know. The topic was quickly dropped and after a awhile it was time for us to retire to our rooms. I leaned back on my couch/bed, and cranked some tunes. A few minutes later, Through the sound of Clutch’s “Swollen Goat” blasting my ears i hear, or rather, feel the wall shaking! I hit the pause button and to my great amusement, I hear the roughest sex in the history of copulation. I couldn’t believe it…They were trying, with olympian effort by the sounds of things, to make sure i heard them. Like they had to prove a point or something. I chuckled to myself as quietly as possible and turned the song back on…
“albatross on your neck”
ugh…ugh…ugh
“and a hooker on the shore”
ooooh…mmmmm
“Dog men to the deck”
Yeaah…Yeahhh
“There’s a hooker on the…”
“In the wake of the swollen goat”
Never thought that song could get any better.
