And write it.
You know how films based on comic books are currently popular? And you know how Hollywood is trying to figure out what could be the next “The Passion of the Christ”?
Well here it is!
**Zebra productions is proud to present
Jack Chick: The Movie**
Other than that I’m not sure except to say that I see it as a great oppurtunity to get Lindsey Lohan and Scarlette Johanson in a film together.
Given all the conspiracies mentioned, I’m tempted to suggest Oliver Stone as the director. It could be an entertainingly illucid and tripped-out melding of the paranoid conspiracy-mongering of JFK and the violently disturbing imagery of Natural Born Killers. Also, Stone–like Chick–doesn’t seem to mind pissing off a lot of people and his heavy-handedness would be ideal for the sledgehammer subtlety of Chick’s religious messages. The only problems with Stone has a director, however, is that I don’t think he’s that religious and, given the movies he’s turned out recently, he seems rather burned out artistically.
Usually, whenever some poor non-believer gets what he deserves in a Chick tract, there’s somebody laughing. Instead of “ha, ha, ha” we get “haw, haw, haw”.
A couple of copyright questions: 1) could someone actually make a film referencing Jack Chick by name? (And is “Jack Chick” a guy’s actual name, or a copyrighted nom-de-plume?); and 2) could said filmmaker use tract inserts? Are the tracts copyrighted, and does material that’s freely given away DQ itself in any way from the normal c-w laws?
Well, I see no one else has started the ball rolling on this, so I’ll take a stab…
The scene begins focused on the face of an old man sitting at the head of a rectangular table; his eyes are shot, his nose is ruddy, and a match held in front of his face would likely ignite his breath. The camera zooms back to reveal a room full of such men, all dressed in the same woolen vestments, their necks draped with gaudy crucifixes. Blond-haired pre-teens with eerily large blue eyes stand in the background holding candles, their eyes looking at everything in the room but those seated at the table.
Brother Simon, S.J.: Brothers, Hear Satan’s Command! The time has come to act!**
