I’m warning for the last time, if you’re the type to get squeamish over women’s troubles, this isn’t the best thing to read…
Today, I had an interview for my externship, which is the final part of my education in culinary school. I’ve had a hard time finding a place to go, because all the particular places I’ve selected don’t pay their externs, and I do want to get something for my work.
The problem is, is I’ve missed the past few days of school because I’ve had the period from hell. Not just a few cramps and a day of heavy flow. We’re talking cramps that have kept me on my back with the heating pad, and several days of heavy flow (heavy enough that I’m soaking a pad in less than two hours). The doctor had put me on new birth control pills, and he said that this is a common side effect when starting them for the first time (it had been over three years since I’ve been on the pill).
I had made the appointment for the interview earlier in the week, when I had foolishly thought that the worst part of my condition would be over. I arrived, looking well-dressed in a black v-neck sweater and black slacks. I had even taken the precaution to stop at a restroom right before the interview to change into fresh acoutrements, and hoping the interview would not be too long. I met with the Sous Chef and the Executive Chef, and I was sitting with them, chatting for a while, when all of a sudden, I feel a huge surge of blood. :eek:
Girls–you know what I’m talking about. That huge surge you get when you swear that half of your uterus has fallen out.
I feel wetness spreading beyond what would be the normal parameters. At this moment, I’m thanking God that I wore black, and I reach back “to fiddle with my sweater”, I notice there is wetness on the seat, too. Now, I’m starting to break out into a cold sweat. I start to fidget around in my seat (and noticing my luck that it was vinyl), hoping that any dry parts of my butt can wipe up any of that blood that was on the chair. I’m trying my damnedest to keep my cool through all of this, while I’m happily chatting with the Sous Chef about baking.
Finally, they want to take me on a tour of the kitchen, and I get up, and I check the chair as I pick up my purse–no stain left behind (whew!) I’m just hoping that the wetness I had noticed was just my cold sweat and not anything else (even though when I finally got a chance to bolt to the ladies room, I did confirm that I did have a blood stain on the back of my pants–did I mention how thankful I was that I decided on black pants?)
Needless to say, I was so relieved that no one had noticed what was going on, and otherwise, the interview went very well. I should know if I have the job tomorrow afternoon.
I promise that I won’t get any blood on the apple tarte tatin. I swear.