My idiot mother

The BBQ Pit
1

Yesterday, I had to go to by sister in law’s to pick up my son. When I got there, she and my mother in law leap at me and (both talking at once) ask me “Do you know what’s happened to your sister?” What’s wrong with Joanna” “ Did they call you at work” etc…
When they finally took a breath, my MIL told me she had gone to the doctor that afternoon and asked where my mom was (Mom’s a nurse) they told her she (my mom) had had to rush out that morning because her daughter was in a car accident. My MIL asked which daughter and was told the middle one, my sister Joanna.
They told her my sister had been in an accident and had been taken to a hospital. Well I hadn’t heard any of this from Mom, Joanna or anyone else. I go into full panic mode, thinking my middle sister is in intensive care somewhere and nobody bothered to call and tell me.
I picked up the phone to call my mom’s house and as I’m dialing it hits me: this whole thing was just an excuse for my mom to get off work She told her boss this cock and bull story about my sister so she could rush out and go home to go back to sleep. I’m standing in my SIL’s kitchen both my MIL & SIL are staring at me (being the twitchy bunnies they are) deeply concerned about my sister and hanging on my every word. I’ve already picked up the phone and started dialing, I can’t turn back now. My sister answers the phone.
Me: Are you o.k.?
Joanna: Uh, yeah. Why?
MIL, SIL: Twitch, twitch
Me: Oh, well o.k. Um. Is anything going on?
Joanna: Nooo. Why?
Me: Oh, uh. So. You’re o.k?
Joanna (clearly thinking I’ve lost my frigging mind): Yeah, I’m fine
At this point my MIL & SIL get distracted by kids and I hiss into the phone “Mama’s bullshit scheme has hung me out to dry, here”
Nana: Huh?
Me: O.K. um I’ll uh talk to you later
I hang up the phone, my MIL & SIL fall on me again, each talking at the same time
MIL,SIL What happened, is she o.k? Is she at home?(duh)
Me: Oh yeah, it was no big deal, she’s fine
MIL: But she had to go to the hospital?
Me: Oh, uh I’m not sure. I think, uh, it was just a precaution. I think she just wanted to ride in the ambulance (??)
MIL,SIL: “What happened, did she hit someone or did someone hit her?”
Me: Um, I’m not sure, I think she’s still pretty groggy.

I extract myself from the Bunny hutch and flee to my house. I call my sister and explain the situation which she thinks is hilarious. “Oh, I forgot about that” she says” Mama called you to have you call the office & leave a message about the “accident” but she couldn’t reach you so she had Grandma do it.
This floors me, when I was in school and living with my Grandmother she was an absolute warden. Nothing less than a fever over 100 or a broken limb would get me out of going to school and now shes lying for my mom? WTF?
I had to involve my husband cause I knew his mom would give him the 3rd degree the next time she saw him, so he’s all pissed off- he thinks my mom is a complete flake anyway and resents having to cover her ass.
My MIL & SIL will never let this go, they will repeat this Car Accident Drama to everyone they know at least once. The sad part is having known my mom for 31 years now this whole thing seems completely normal to me. I used to pray that I would find out I was adopted

2

Wow, Lnix. That sucks.

My ex-fiance used to lie all the time. He had numerous lies for different people–I didn’t know how he could keep them all straight. After a while, I knew all of them. Someone would tell me something he said and I would think, “Ah yes, the ‘Nana died last week’ lie.” The fact that I went to her funeral 2 years before made that one pretty obvious. He always did shit like that. That and his cocaine habit made me dump him.

I guess it’s tough to just dump your mom. But really, why cover up for her? You could have just told your MIL the truth about it. It might be embarrassing, but your mom’s the one with the problem, not you. You and your husband should not have to cover her ass. Don’t let her put you through that kind of crap anymore.

Supportive thoughts going your way…

3

I’ll second that. You shouldn’t feel obligated to lie for your Mom, and she shouldn’t expect you to.

And now, let’s get this clear here: Because your mother is a liar, you want to cover for her (i.e., you have to lie, yourself), and you’re telling your husband to lie also? Why? Why does your mother’s decision to be work-slacking truth-twister require your husband to lie to his own mother?

To be honest, if I was your husband, I’d put my foot down here, and just tell the truth like, I assume, his mother would expect. And if I were you, I’d let him.

4

, and you’re telling your husband to lie also? Why? Why does your mother’s decision to be work-slacking truth-twister require your husband to lie to his own mother?

Okay, first, I didn’t ask my husband to lie. If you’ll read my original post, I had to involve him, to tell him what happened so when his mother brought it up he would know what the hell was going on. What he tells his mom is totally his business. Work slacking? Well, maybe, my Mom has been a nurse for 30 years and has certainly paid her dues. She also has severe diabetes and probably shouldn’t be working at all, but her stubborness and pride prevent her from admitting it. Should I have just let my mom twist in the wind? Probably, but at 7:00 after 10 hours of work it’s much easer to just go with the flow.

5

Ah; OK. Your original post also states, “he thinks my mom is a complete flake anyway and resents having to cover her ass” (italics mine). My interpretation of “covering her ass” was “covering up for her lie” i.e., going along with the story. I assume you meant something more along the line of, “[he] resents having to clean up after her messes”?

I still agree with Ceejaytee, but I can see your point about going with the flow. Since it seems, from your OP, that this is a recurring circumstance, I would recommend developing a strategy now to deal with it the next time it happens, so you don’t necessarily have to think on your feet after 10 hours of work. Or tell your mom to knock it off.