Course Director in English department at a university
Ambulatory Care Center Executive Administrator
Workers’ compensation and liability defense paralegal.
Well, you would.
Damn!
IIRC, you own the place. I think entrepreneur is still available.
Onshore, offshore and overseas production operations start up superintendent for oil. gas and LNG facilities. Worked also on Pipelines and Terminals as well as as well testing in remote locations. Just finished a short term gig in Kuala lumpur writing start up and operations procedures for a huge Shell offshore facility. Shortly heading off to Tunisia as Shutdown Coordinator on an onshore gas treatment facilty ( unless I get a confirmed offer for tech author for BP in Azerbaijan by the end of the weekend)
Apart from that I am a landlord and marketer for some properties I own here in phils and in my spare time professional idiot!!
Statistician, employed by Uncle Sam.
Sociophonetician - That’s the *COOLEST *word I’ve heard today!
Director, and sole paid employee, of my town’s Office of Tourism.
Quality Assurance Specialist Ammunition Surveillance - QASAS - actual job title. I play with bullets and explosives from .22cal to nuke weapons spanning R&D to demolition. (One time bangup amatuer golfer - 0.9 handicap:D).
Other Explosive Guys
We also have santo rugger who is an explosive technician recovering from a severe motorcycle accident. His mom posts updates on his condition. GO Rugger.
Trippler is an EOD (Explosive Ordnance Disposal) tech - I believe currently deployed.
We actually try to keep our job as dull as possible - loud noises and people screaming mean something has gone terribly wrong.
Education Learning Architect. I work with organisations to identify and work towards their learning objectives. Or at least that’s the plan - the job started on Tuesday and we’re still mapping out the job description!
Pathologist.
Distance learning specialist (which means help students and faculty learn to use our distance learning applications and do troubleshooting on those applications).
I’m also the department webmaster and digital copyright guidelines specialist.
Professional dishwasher. OK, I bus tables to, but it was mostly dishwashing. And yeah, I don’t do that now, I did it when I first started out working after I left college. But no one has claimed it yet, and I HAVE done it, and this is a liberal board goddamit and it would be nice if SOMEBODY held a low-prestige blue collar job.
E-learning technologist for a nonprofit institute.
Nexpress Digital press operator.
I think that applies to pretty much every job. 
Thank you for your service. My late father and late grandfather were both career firefighters, and I have to work alongside firefighters in my job. I appreciate how difficult your job must be. My grandfather retired as a captain after 39 years on the force.
I realized that I have one other “certification,” although I haven’t practiced for eight or nine years, so maybe it doesn’t count for purposes of this thread:
Ballroom scrutineer (that’s the person who compiles all the judges’ marks that are collected on little slips of paper and applies the skating system to determine the result).
Nowadays this is mostly done by computer, and the scrutineer just presides over it all. Back when I started, it was entirely paper-based, and involved lots of transferring columns of numbers from judges’ sheets to my score sheets, which sounds simple, but is incredibly fatiguing when you do it for 16 hours straight without a break. As a result of doing this for a while, I can now check off in a column a list of numbers being read to me (in or out of order), getting “behind” by as much as 5 or 6 numbers but continuing to remember what’s in the queue while locating each one, while someone else reads a different list of numbers over a microphone in the room.
What kind?
I know we’ve had a few students but I think I’m the first:
Full time community college student who is dying to graduate and start on a REAL major (..grumble..grumble..friggen liberal arts..grumble..grumble..)
In my spare time, I am an ESOL tutor (English for speakers of other languages) though I don’t get paid for that. I don’t get paid for being a college student either actually.
Is that studying something like why some people say ‘axe’ instead of ‘ask’?
Technical support engineer for desktop virtualization software.
I also do a lot of technical writing for the same, but that post has some competition!