Independent game developer (programmer/designer/‘artist’).
I might normally say it’s a hobby, but I’ll be getting something published soon so it will retroactively become paid work. Arguably I’m a game designer, and was thus beaten to the punch, but in practice most of my time is spent programming so I think it’s different enough to count.
tip of the hat to smaje1, The Hamster King, and Lightnin’
Machine operator. I operate, troubleshoot, and perform routine maintenance on the machines which bottle water and pack it into shrink-wrapped cases.
Would you please do an Ask the water aerobics instructor thread? Pretty please?
Fluffer.
Would you please not do an Ask the fluffer thread? Pretty please?
Currently I am Recruiter for a large Oilfield company.
By background I am a Chemical and Process Engineer with a specialty in Process Intensification
Clerk and uploader for an online bookstore.
Includes vetting third-party publishers, document preparation in Quark/Acrobat/Photoshop, HTML, marketing writing, very light community management and customer service (seriously, they said I’d be getting maybe a dozen emails like that a day and I get something like two. It’s lovely).
Gravedigger, yes really, I’m not kidding, Gravedigger.
If we’re doing former jobs and you want blue collar, I started out flipping burgers at McDonald’s and moved up to driving a delivery truck. I didn’t notice either of those mentioned.
I was also a logic simulation programmer, CMOS semicustom chip designer, device driver programmer, production manager on a robotically-operated PC/ hybrid manufacturing floor, part-time college teacher, and a whole bunch of other strange jobs…
Macintosh software developer
Certified pharmacy technician – that is, I sell drugs without a license of my own.
Marketing/Product Manager.
international/foreign patent and trademark filing specialist (currently unemployed)
Electronics Technician, US Postal Service. Trained to perform preventive maintenance on several types of mail processing equipment, but on the shift I work the mail is generally being processed, so I mostly respond to various sorts of equipment breakdowns.
Client rep at a subtitling/translation company. I coordinate the creation and translation of scripts and subtitles for a major studio.
Reservoir Engineer working in Angola for a large US-based energy company.
Job functions/responsibilities are quite varied - interpreting seismic data, building flow simulation models, planning wells, etc. - due to the lack of qualified people, but fortunately my degrees and work experience cover these tasks. The only license required is the one I use to rent cars during the periodic trips home.
Oh, and I am a drummer in a band that has actually been paid for a few shows. 
Sorry. Was kinda trying to be vague on purpose, but I can see your point. I’m a Sheriff’s Deputy. Nothing terribly glamorous. Well, maybe a little. Hehe
Licensed massage therapist. I also do airbrush tanning.
In Angola? Sounds like a story I would like to hear about.
I am also a semi-pro guitar player - paid regularly at clubs and for events where my cover band plays. If a true full-time guitar player - in a band, as a sideman or a session player - showed up in this thread, I would humbly rescind my claim on this job…
A few years ago, a couple of my colleagues transferred here from Louisiana where they played guitar in a band that had semi-regular gigs the local bars. They started coming to my house where we could make some noise and drink beer. The Belgian embassy is across the street from my house and one afternoon, a staffer walked over and asked if we would play for a party. We agreed and had great fun and good food then thought that was the end of it. A few months later, we got a call from the Finnish Consulate with a similar request which, of course, we accepted. We call ourselves “The Turbo Kings”, a name we took from a West African beer that is distinguished from other regional beers by its very low concentrations of formaldehyde, and play the occasional party or local bar. The music is rock & roll - any vintage - and the occasional jazz/blues tune. Absolutely no Country/Western. 
It’s fun and occupies the weekends, but most of our compensation is in the form of food and beverages, with the occasional cash payment.