I don’t know how I missed it the first time, but thanks for making me laugh by reiterating it the second. 
Um…dang, I didn’t double quote.
I meant the SoS message.
Your previous summary included “2. Upstairs neighbor wants my junk”. I don’t think this contention is supported by the note as transcribed.
It’s possible you were being delightfully humorous, or that I’ve been whooshed, or that this is all just more material for this thread, in which case please ignore this post.
Ah, that’s what I get for not reading the whole thread. I’d still be annoyed though.
Enough beer and any chick is hot.
Uh…
It seems to me that you are greatly exaggerating and/or misinterpreting a great many things in her letter (post 63). All that you’ve factually ascertained is that your neighbor is a female, isn’t the source of the noise, and is familiar with smiley faces.
I’m also going to suggest that this letter you received is a fake, and someone is just fucking with you for writing such a long, convoluted, TLDR letter in the first place.
Guess I should have used a sarc-mark when I said that…
Or mentioned that you were exaggerating after about 30 subsequent follow-up posts that were all focusing on the “want my junk” aspect of your claim. Intentional or not, the pajama pants trope doesn’t end well.
Still, though, considering my anticipated response to the letter was that 1602 would be a burly man with gang connections who’d wait outside my door and stick a screwdriver in my neck when I left for work in the morning, and the best outcome I could predict was something like a “lolwut” reply, a phone number and a call to action rounds up to a public fondling.
It’s like those illusions where you stare at a block of color for few seconds and then look at a black and white photo, and the black and white photo looks like it’s in color.
- She has a lot of cat knickknacks. Run far away.
- It’s the ghost of Gene Krupa.
Lighten up, Frances. This isn’t GQ.
I’m guessing the OP winds up in the upstairs apartment one evening but is never seen/heard from again. Once his old apartment is rented out to a new tenant, the noise returns! Turns out the upstairs “chick” is Cthulhu.
This is intriguing. I’m intrigued.
I’ll will be watching for developments and will be sorely disappointed if this culminates to an April 1st “Gotcha!”
For the sake of all that is holy, please ascertain that she is hot, Weirdaaron. God forbid you meet someone who is perfect in every other way but not smokin’ hot. She sounds funny, and tolerant, and hard-working, but if she is not hot, don’t even talk to her!!!
I must know the ending to this tale! How about sending up another letter inviting her for a 2AM meeting at your place to look for the source of the noise? 
Count me in as curious, too.
Try sticking an empty paper towel roll to one ear, and cover the other one.
Yes, I’m still interested in the noise. Although I do think you should just call the girl already.
remember, she may not be hot - but she may be friends with someone who is - and when she invites you out for drinks with some of her friends and tells the cute story of how y’all met, cute friend will surely fall for ya.
(cause, y’know, she’ll have been drinking . . .)
Nitpick: it should be “Francis.” Munch is a dude.
