Well, duh!
Second laugh-out-loud funny thing I’ve read today…
If Rob is the Antichrist, what is Ripper Owens supposed to be?
He’s as elusive as Roger Denby!
The tract convinced me that Jack Chick is not the right artist to depict the Rapture. It ought to be Chuck Jones.
I picture Wile E. Coyote getting raptured, but not realizing it right away. He continues to walk off the edge of the cliff – and then when he sees what he’s doing, he suddenly jets up into heaven. Meanwhile, Daffy Duck gets raptured but on the way up he keeps getting flattened by jets, satellites and bald eagles. Bugs tells him “you were supposed to file a flight plan” and Daffy zooms out of sight yelling “I didn’t knooooooooooooow!”
Or:
“I never kneeeeeeeeeew.”
The thing I find the greatest abomination against God in that cartoon is the execrably awful artwork.
Translated, as best as possible, from a Yvon Deschamps monologue (french Canadian humorist):
“We had to murder them, strangle them, burn them, disembowl them, tear their bodies apart, kill them by the thousands and thousands and STILL THEY WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND THAT CHRISTIANITY IS THE RELIGION OF LOVE, DAMNIT! It’s not that hard to understand!”
Yeah. Pooooooor Mr. Chick… he… never knewwwwww…
Guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyzzz…I wish you’d include panel numbers with your comments! I had to go through the whole thing twice before I figured out who “Fang” was!
On that note, check out Bob’s robe in panel 7. What was the name of that character Christopher Walken used to do on SNL—The Continental, something like that?
And I love the last panel. “ACT NOW! Accept Jesus within the next thirty minutes and get a free Ronco nutmeg soother! Operators are standing by!”
I loved this one:
Italics mine.
A flea market witnessing ministry? What, get a cheap diamond ring and the salvation you couldn’t buy at a regular store?
I’m gonna start my own flea market atheist ministry–and just not have a flea market at all. It’ll just be an empty booth. That’ll show 'em.
Yes. But He is also Justice.
Payback time?
Yes. You think NO one is guilty?
Though that executioner has a strong stomach (When’s lunch?)
Personally I liked the collection of heads the executioner kept.
I know, somebody already posted that. Still it’s the damn funniest thing I have read in a while. It’s worth repeating. “Hey You! Yeah, you buying the “hot” pair of Nikes for $15.00. Repent!”
Bob has developed quite the thing for ol’ Damien. It’s always nice to see true love blossom.
gobear, would a geopolitical climax involve entire nations or just the leaders?
Ugh! I did not need the image of a Bush/Blair/Putin/Sharon/Arafat five-way stuck in my head! pfah!
Although we got to see Damien, who has been a part of Bob’s posse for some time (I mean, he even lives in his house!) apparently only now learning about that whole Apocalypse thang.
At the risk of starting a war, so God has to punish us for things that he could have prevented to begin with.
Or, he killed his own son to solve a problem he created in the first place, being omnipotent, and all?
:dubious::dubious:
Well Ogre, free will’s a bitch. ::shrug:: If God made it so everyone could do no wrong, no one would ever learn anything or grow as a person. Life is about making mistakes, admitting them, and learning from the experience. If God prevented all evil, He would prevent all growth.
Anyway, the fire and brimstone God of guys like Jack isn’t the way most Christians see Him. We don’t have a supernatural Charles Bronson sitting in the clouds and waiting to open a six pack of whupass on fans of the Harry Potter books.
No, he could have made it any way he chose. He’s omnipotent, you see.
And it wasn’t that he didn’t prevent evil. He created it. And since he’s omnipotent and omniscient, he could have easily provided for “growth” while not having some of the greater atrocities in history.
Uh Huh Jack.
Righty-ho.
But can you tell me EXACTLY where the Ark reappears from? Did Indiana Jones get it back from the Nazis, or what?
The rest of the comic appears to be fiction too.
The amazing thing to me is that Jack’s not alone…there are Americans who are highly involved in actively trying to breed a perfectly red heifer so it can be used as a sacrifice to purify the new Jewish Temple. Yosef Elboim spent years making priestly raiment precisely as was described in the OT for the day when the Temple would be rebuilt. In 1969, Dennis Michael Rohan walked into the Al-Aqsa Mosque and poured kerosene on the priceless pulpit, placed there by Saladin. He lit it, hoping that the conflagration would make the Jews rise up and destroy the Dome of the Rock.
There are hundreds of other examples. Read Gershom Gorenberg’s The End of Days: Fundamentalism and the Struggle for the Temple Mount for an excellent treatment.
Now THAT would make an interesting tract! Anyone care to make that dream a reality?
Sorry, I had to write the opening of “Jesus II” first.
We see three men sitting in an old, wooden shack playing a card game of some kind. They are sweaty, and dirty, and obviously fugitives on the
run. It’s straight out of an old Sergio Leone movie. Suddenly, a STRANGER kicks the door in. Wind swirls in from outside, filling the doorway
with sand. He is dressed like the MAN WITH NO NAME, serape, hat, cigar. The three men at the table look up, they obviously recognize him, but
don’t dare speak.
STRANGER
'lo, boys. Mind if I have a game?
The three men look at each other, then motion to the empty chair. The STRANGER sits across from the evillest, worriedest looking man, and the
card game begins. The original three trade worried glances, Sergio Leone-style, as the cards are dealt out.
STRANGER
Call.
They all slap down their hands, the worried-looking man across from the STRANGER looking even more worried. The STRANGER looks at the cards.
STRANGER
Dead man’s hand? Today’s not your day, Judas…
JUDAS
You son of a bitch!
They both leap to their feet, going for their guns. The STRANGER gets his gun out first and shoots. JUDAS grabs his chest and topples over.
The STRANGER stands, his gun smoking.
STRANGER
Thomas…Peter…get the boys back together.
And the STRANGER walks out as Kid Rock’s “Cowboy” begins to play.
The best part is the last panel: “This is no joke!”
'Course it isn’t. You’re the joke, Jackie.