How about trying to be happy being single? You don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy, do you?
Esprix
How about trying to be happy being single? You don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy, do you?
Esprix
Damn hamsters!
Esprix
This is a good point. Whenever I feel like I have a need for something, but am happy/satisfied with the way things currently are, I really think about how badly I really need that thing. Often, the main factor is that I see seemingly everyone else with it (relationships for example) and I feel left out, like there’s something in my life lacking.
I used to view having a relationship as a social ledge, as if being in a relationship demonstrates my social skills. Negative feedback definitely reinforced this idea for me over the years “You’re single because you are a wierdo/loser/etc”.
But now, I’m realizing that I’m perfectly happy being single; I don’t feel insecure about it.
Thanks for all the advice all. Andrea is in a relationship and I don’t want to date her. It is not like I have lost hope, I would just like a relationship and, like phouka, the deomgraphics here are not working in my favor.
hamsters?
No advice, just wanted to say don’t give up!!!
I was 40 when I met Rick (here at the SDMB, no less) and hadn’t dated in years. I had totally given up on getting married, even to the extent of only putting “have a long term relationship” (vs. “getting married”) on my list of 50 Things To Do Before I Die and even then putting it at about #37.
Ok, one bit of advice. Try as hard as you can not to be so quiet.
Second bit, cause I can’t resist. It helps to be happy being single. As happy as I am now, I wasn’t unhappy before and being happily single has got to be better than unhappily together.
Good luck!
Ham§sters run the Straight Dope™ Message Board.
They like to eat pie and worship The Great Og.
They also think Star Trek is cool, but their breath smells like elderberry wine.
Hope that helps.
I’ll have to get my husband in here to post his story - he could have written your OP, gmark (except for the addiction and previously married part). And here we are married, three years later. All because of a throwaway line I frivolously tacked onto my profile on an internet dating service.
If you want any advice from someone who has truly been there (I met Jim when I was 34 and pretty convinced I was not made of marriage material), my best advice is internet dating. I called it “concentrated dating” back in the day - I met, talked with, and got to know way more guys than I ever could have just waiting for them to show up in my life.
Oh, and ratty’s advice is also great - I don’t believe in THE ONE!!! I believe in “He’s a great guy, we get along very well, and I like spending time with him so let’s see where it goes.” And just for the record, nothing scares the girlies like the smell of desperation.
gmarkstephens, :rolleyes: . You dumb ass! You are great. You just suffer from the same retarded low self-esteem problem that most ex-junkies struggle with. It’s not like you’re old and destined to die alone. If I had any female friends, you know I’d hook you up!
Also, at this point, if you met someone at work, it wouldn’t impact your work environment much, would it? Although, considering WHERE you work (You’re kind of isolated down there.), I don’t know how you’d meet anyone.
Perhaps we SHOULD all start going to the gymlet. There might be attractive, single women for you there.
Have you considered showing available ladies pictures of your kiddo? Any woman would see that you have excellent Daddy potential.
Additionally, I dunno if there is someone out there for everyone. Doesn’t matter, really. But life is like Christmas when you were little. Waiting is the hard part. Then you forget about it for a minute and- BAM- it’s here.
Thanks for the advice everyone.
stalk
I’m stalking Guin as we speak, HI me again! (look out your window, I am typing this from my car)
Esprix, it’s not that I can’t be happy being single.
It’s just being LONELY. Wanting someone to kiss and cuddle and screw. That sort of thing.
It could be worse, you could get this:
http://www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99993694
I am happy but also a bit lonely.
Like what guin said plus I would like to enjoy talking and doing things with her.
After all it is still easy to find someone just for sex I just want more than that.
crap what the hell happend to me? Wait now I remember I quit being an asshole x junkie and turned into a nice guy.
exactly.
NOOOOO!!! Not the nice guy rant.
The only reason I say this is that every guy I’ve known who whined about being a “nice guy” was actually just a manipulative, passive-aggressive doormat who laid on the guilt trips.
No, no, Guin! It wasn’t the nice guy rant. Reread it, and you’ll see that he’s facetiously bemoaning the fact that random sex just doesn’t do it for him anymore because he gave up being an asshole and became a nice guy. (See? It’s okay. Really. I know. I have that reaction a lot too.)
Along with Guin and gmark, I’m going to have to say that happy as I am single, I would really like someone to share my life with, someone to snuggle with and watch movies, someone to swap back rubs with, someone to have wild screaming monkey sex with . . . . Is that so much to ask?
Living your entire life single, or better yet celibate, is the most noble of virtues. From isolation comes strength. And with enough strength you can destroy them all. Granted it might be a lot of strength, and you’ll have to experiment with some combos. Combos are everything in life.
And I hope there’s no one out ther for me, because such a creature I’ll have to destroy lest her madness foil my plans.
That depends, phouka, are you talking about four different guys? An all-in-one package might take a bit longer. 
My problem seems to be that as soon as I get in the single groove, the universe notices me being comfortable and sends me an interesting female. That lasts just long enough for me to get into the couple groove it before one/both of us lose interest/move/find someone else/decide it just can’t work.
Still, it certainly keeps me from getting in a rut!
[cue Twilite Zone music]