I’m sorry ratty I very much disagree. I’d far rather be alone than have just “any old warm body” with whom I can “put up with their 'crap”.
People deserve and need more in their relationships than just the what they can “stand to put up with”.
Sex between two people who love each other should be a HELL of a lot more than “exchanging bodily fluids”. Hell, why even bother if it’s just sex? Most people can do a better job (technically speaking) themselves.
I tell you what, my boyfriend and I are (sadly and long story) getting ready to part ways. We are the best of friends and have had a long wonderful time together. I don’t know what will ultimately happen. I am moving to the states, and he’s going off to learn to fly.
Will we eventually end up together once he’s “sown his wild oats” and “found himself”? I don’t know.
I do know one thing for DAMN sure. He’s leaving behind a tremendous “high water mark” that will be awfully tough for any other man to match insofar as how well we meshed in so many ways.
I won’t just settle for any old warm body “whose crap I can put up with”. Like my mom always says “It’s better to BE alone, then wish like hell you WERE alone”.
I will go this far at least in agreeing with ratty: there are things about everybody out there in the whole world that are annoying. The trick is to find the person whose annoying habits annoy you the least - either they don’t bother you at all or you even find them endearing.
Never think that you’re going to find someone who is perfect in every way or even that will have nothing about them at all that you don’t like. People are just people, you know?
The “nice guy rant” can set off alarm bells I suppose however, that is where I find myself. I do not think that I am looking for advice on ways to find people to date. I intended just to rant about my current situation.
For me leaving drug use behind required the abrupt loss most of my life and social identity. This is extremely liberating and most horrifying at the same time. I know that I will start dating again probably quite soon; however, I will have to relearn many relationship skills in the process.
The nice guy rant, for me at least, stems from me wanting a relationship where I enjoy the company of another person rather than using guilt trips and manipulation to use the company of another person. This thread when you boil it down started with my fears about allowing myself to date again.
I did start as a program person (NA) but I have a bad habit of taking care of others rather than myself so I backed away; choosing therapy as a more fitting tool for my life. I feel that going to NA to find a relationship is inviting disaster.
If I had to name one place where I would like to find a relationship, it would be the UU church that I have been attending.
All this said I will try for a more entertaining rant next time like the annoying habit that my umbrella seems to have of being in the wrong place when it is raining. If it is raining and I am in my apartment it is in my car on the other side of the parking lot, if I am in the parking lot at work it is at my desk if I am at my desk it is at my apartment.
FTR, I am currently available, although there is someone I have been spending a lot of time with; however, I don’t anticipate it becoming serious, and I am continuing to date around as it suits me.
Hey, gmark! When’s the next time you’re gonna be in the DC area? You sound kinda cute! I don’t mind nice guys.
But I’d have to ask, How much influence do the drugs still have in your life? I’ve dated an ex-addict, and even though he was no long shooting up, the drugs still controlled him. He couldn’t discuss anything without bringing the topic back around to drugs. If I tried politics - “Ya know, so-and-so’s daughter is an addict.” If we talked about music - “X-and-such band’s original drummer got busted for smack, that’s why they have Joe Blow, but he’s an addict too…” No matter what we did, where we went, or what we talked about, all he could think about was drugs.
I do not make it to DC as often as I would like; when I do, I usually spend the day wandering the museums.
I am not sure what causes the fascination with other peoples drug use in so many people after living through it. I could care less beyond wanting to continue to distance myself from that lifestyle.
I enjoy meeting new people but I am not sure that I feel comfortable meeting someone for the first time in another city by myself, however; if you are interested in hitting the museums with my friends and I the next time we are in DC send me an email.
What’s his name? I guess I’m so happy, I didn’t even know I was in a relationship!