My mom has been sick for several years. First, diabetes, then a massive heart attack, then renal failure. She’s been on kidney dialysis for a couple of years. She began having abdominal pain about 6 months ago, and could no longer walk. She’s been in a nursing home for the past 4 months.
I got a call this morning, and the nurse told me that mom wasn’t going to make it. So, my daughter and I went in to be with her.
She died at 9:15am.
I went to see her on Tuesday, and she was laying in her bed, in pain. I asked her how she was doing. She replied, “I’m suffering…I’m suffering.” She was scheduled for surgery to insert some sort of new port/shunt/whatever for her dialysis, as her old one wasn’t working too well, anymore. That was supposed to happen yesterday, but it was canceled, as she was really too weak to undergo the surgery/anesthesia.
I went to see her yesterday, and she was sitting up in a wheelchair, pretty cheerful, but a bit confused. She’s been confused for several months, so it wasn’t anything new. I told her that her surgery was canceled, so she didn’t have to go anywhere that day.
Mom replied, “Yes! I know it was canceled! But I’ve got to go somewhere tomorrow!”
I said, “Yes. You have your dialysis treatment tomorrow.”
Mom said, “NO! I’m not going there! I’m going somewhere else!”
So, I let that go, knowing that she’s somewhat confused, and there was no need to try to prove myself right.
Today, when I went to the nursing home, to be with her when she died, she was in a coma/unresponsive. My daughter and I sat there for awhile, and then we went outside, so I could have a cigarette.
When we got outside, there was an absolutely beautiful, double rainbow that formed above the nursing home. We watched it for awhile, and I went back inside. I went to mom’s room, took her hand, and told her all about that gorgeous rainbow, and that if she felt like she wanted to go, it was alright. I told her that we’d be fine here, and that she has suffered long enough. I told her that since that beautiful rainbow was out there, she’d better get up there, and hop on it, and it would take her to where she wanted to go.
Mom died not long after I told her that.
Bye mom. I love you.
The rainbow bridge is the bestest.