My Mom had a Stroke - I need advice please...

My Mother has had a similar type stroke and the drs don’t think she will survive. If she does, they say her quality of life will be horrid. (My word, not theirs.) Specifically, she will never walk, talk, or be able to eat or clean herself. They say she is also legally blind. She had pre-existing conditions COPD, MRSA, anemia, previous tiny TIA’s. She also specified “No heroic measures”. I still think I see her in there though, and although her right side is pretty much useless, her left hand is strong. I am worried the dr has just written her off because she’s old. I know she would not want to live as she is now for another 9 years. I wouldn’t want that either. I am an only child and her power of attorney, so the decisionfalls on me. I had to call and tell my Uncle and I think I broke his heart. (He never married-we’re all he has.He can’t fly here because he’s just had a triple bypass.) You’re story helped somewhat…when you said he looked happy in the end. I am worried though that she’ll think I’ve given up. I have fought doctors valiantly before on previous visits. Either way , whatever I decide I am going to feel guilty. I found her after coming home from work when she wouldn’t answer the phone. I don’t know how many hours she’d been like she was when I found her.At first I thought she was just asleep but when she opened her eyes and couldn’t move or talk I realized I had to call 911. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I read about miraculous things and it makes me want to wait, but the dr sure painted a very bleak picture. Any advice would be helpful and appreciated. Susan

susieq222, I sent a private message.

And again, welcome to the SDMB.

She posted once & from a thread more than 10 years ago. There’s some stuff I wrote in here thats pretty raw, even more than 10 years later. Any chance she could cut/paste her post into a new thread & let this one RIP?

Its difficult re-reading it right before a Holiday. Empty chairs are hard enough.

susieq I’m sorry for what you’re going through. We had to face the same thing when my father had a stroke. No one can tell you what your decision should be. The only advice I can give you is to ask yourself every possible question you can think of: what would her quality of life be if she recovers; what if her condition deteriorates even further (what would you do if she develops an infection or pneumonia); and yes, even what type of care you can afford.

If your mother gave you power of attorney, it means that ultimately she trusts your decision.

I’ve made this its own thread.

i work in long term care and we watch loved ones wrestle with this all the time. Listen to the doctors on the prognosis and quality of life issues, listen to your own inner heart, remember everything you can that she might have said on the topic of living on under similar circumstances for guidance and then pretend you can hear your mother herself,in her voice of old, reading that pulse/ living will word for word to you for strength. take care.