My mom is about to sign her life away and I cannot stop it.

My uncle(her brother) has said he wants her to sign a paper because a probate that happened years ago went wrong, by her signing this it will go right.

I have told her this is incorrect, I checked myself and the house in question is under her and her brothers name in 50% ownership. It is not possible to “re-probate” this house.

My uncle has admitted to me he wants to take total control of her assets and wants the power to commit her to a psych hospital.

I have warned her about all this, she still wants to go sign the paper. She viciously attacked me saying if I cared I’d give her money to hire her own lawyer. I backed off at this point.

My sister in the USA says she is too depressed to leave the house and deal with our mom, I’m two thousand miles away barely making ends meet with a toddler.

:smack:She is going to blame me you know, she always has. She blamed me for not advising her on tax law when I was age 10.

Sorry to hear that this is happening and that you’re stuck in the middle. It does sound like your mom is a little nuts though! Do you feel that she needs psychiatric help and why is her brother taking legal priority over her own children?

Probably she does, but the thing I object to is the deception. Additional info is my father died in the last few months and her brother has just swooped in. If he wants to talk her into it that is fine, but he is using blatant lies to trick her.

She tricked him into giving her money for an autopsy, which enraged him.

Sorry to hear about your father. Unfortunately death can bring out the worst in families. So she tricked him into giving her money for an autopsy and he got pissed and is trying to get her share of the house?
All you can do is try to talk sense to her and at the very least convince her not to sign anything
until she can get it checked out by an attorney. Maybe you can talk her into selling him her interest in the house and he can keep the money that she tricked him out of. Unfortunately we have very little control over the bad decisions of others, but I can understand how pissed you must be about your uncle trying to screw her. Hopefully some other readers can offer you some practical help.

You cannot control/protect her from so far away. (Keep reading it over and over, until you accept it!)

Nothing can change that. She tricked him, he’s tricking her, she’s williningly going to go against your advice. What else do you need to know here?

From what you’ve shared here before it doesn’t seem that surprising, to be honest. And, by your account, she’s getting to be, on the ragged fringes of, needing to no longer live on her own anyway. This will just speed up what seems like it was almost inevitable. Consider that when she’s around others in a home, she may improve. She may actually like not having to look after herself, she may make friends, get involved in something new?

Either way, you need to wrap your head around that this is probably going to happen, and you cannot really change it, you’ve given it your best shot. That’s all anyone can do. You must have considered the possibility such could happen when you moved away, right?

Step back. It’s all you can do, from the sounds of it. Wishing you good luck!

You’re probably not going to change her view of what’s going on–at least, not right now, while she’s tenaciously defending her plans. To her mind, she’s trying to do something that’s both sensible and morally right, and you’re attacking her. Rather than contradicting her view of the situation, see if you can build on her assumptions to get her to come to a slightly different conclusion.

Could you ask her just to not sign the papers right now? I mean, neither the house nor your uncle is going to disappear, right?

Maybe you could tell her that she keeps her options open if she doesn’t sign right away. If she signs, then she’s making a final decision–one that, as she knows, she hasn’t considered with a lawyer. And, even though you can’t pay for a lawyer right now, you probably could after you get a promotion, or get a second job, or whatever else might sound like a plausible way to have more money available.

Could you suggest that maybe there’s another way to make things right that she hasn’t considered?

Of course, it might take a while before you can get her a lawyer, or come up with a different way to make things OK with the uncle. Once she gets a little distance from the situation, maybe she’ll be in a better frame of mind to discuss what really happened with the uncle, and whether she actually owes him anything at all.

How old is your mom? I’m guessing different states have different minimum ages, but if she is 55-60+, whoever handles elder abuse for her area would probably be willing to look into it. Years ago, when I worked for a senior citizen’s agency, a good portion of our elder abuse cases were exactly this sort of thing–one family member being taken advantage of financially by another, with a third (usually after many unsuccessful attempts to convince family member A that they were being taken advantage of) contacting us. The age of the person taking advantage doesn’t matter; they can actually be the same age or older than the victim.