On Valentine’s Day morning, my Mom’s doctor gave her a Valentine present: she was being released from the hospital!
She’s still very weak, but is responding enough to the chemo, which has shrunk the tumor enough for them to be able to release her from the hospital. She’ll continue getting chemo every three weeks, and if there is more (enough) shrinking of the tumor, they may be able to operate. (Right now, they can’t operate because it’s so large).
I did get to visit her last weekend, and so did my brothers (I have four, all younger than I)–even though it was our mother’s illness that brought us together, it was good to be able to visit with them; I hadn’t seen them in several years, unfortunately.
I know my Mom is much more comfortable being at home; one of my brothers and his wife are staying with her this weekend. I’m hoping to be able to get up there next weekend, and if I can spend spend a few days with her myself.
So please, continue to keep my Mom in your thoughts and prayers–something seems to be working!
That is great news about your mom getting to come home from the hospital and about you getting close to your family. I will say a prayer for your mom and hope she gets better soon.
Dear tarragon918
You, your mom and your brothers are in my thoughts and prayers. The memories that I have of the time that my siblings and I spent taking care of my mom are some of the memories that I cherish most. This time together is a special gift that you and your family have been given. I know you will use it wisely.
My Mom is back in the hospital; when she went in for her 2nd round of chemo on Friday morning, her doctor found that she had an infection where the nutrition feeding tubes are implanted in her chest, so they re-admitted her to the hospital and are treating her with IV antibiotics.
The past 5 weeks have really been a roller coaster; I cannot imagine what they have been like for my Mom, though. When they sent her home last week, the visiting nurses were supposed to be coming twice a day, to help her when she had to put together the nutrition feeding bags. However, with the snowstorm last Sunday, there were 2-3 days when they couldn’t even get there! The process is rather involved and complicated, and my Mom just did not feel comfortable with trying to do it herself, unfortunately. She was also feeling very weak, then she was so dizzy that she couldn’t hold her head up. That may have been because of the infection, though. When I spoke with her last night, her voice at least sounded stronger; I think she feels more secure in the hospital.
She is now having her doctor work on sending her to a nursing home once she is released from the hospital. She needs someone to be with her around the clock, and none of her children (myself included) can take time off to go do that, nor really is her apartment even big enough for two people to live in. We’re all beside ourselves, wanting to do anything we can to help, hoping that our Mom is going to get better, but she seems to be slipping quickly. It does help (some) to be able to talk it out; and any suggestions as to anything else that we might be able to do to help are welcome.
Thanks for listening, folks, and please continue to keep my Mom in your prayers.
I’m sorry to hear about the infection - hopefully being in the hospital would help her get stronger.
You hang in there too, when my Mom was in the hospital a year ago (and several states away) I was very stressed out. So, crazy as it may sound, in between all of your worrying, be kind to yourself. It could be something as small as a hot bubble bath, a nice glass of wine or two (if you’re 21 & in the house for the night) or maybe even a massage (I highly recommend them). Really, do this for yourself. If you’re less stressed, you can be a stronger support for your Mom.
I’ve been praying for her since you first told us about the situation, and I will continue to do so. Also sending positive healing thoughts her way.
On another note, I have been through somewhat the same thing as far as needing help caring for an ailing parent. With mom, I moved in and worked full time while taking care of her the rest of the time. But when dad was ill last year, I had the experience of how hard it was on both mom and I that I was doing so much to give me some perspective…with mom, I was not getting any sleep…not none, but maybe an hour or two here and there…and that made HER worry that she was “ruining my life.” Which of course she wasn’t. Anyway, when dad was extremely ill, we decided to let him go to a nursing home for the few days after he was out of the hospital until my weekend. I did move in with him after that, but by Monday I was pretty sure I had “pounded it into him” that when I was at work he was NOT TO GO OUTSIDE THIS HOUSE!!!" Sigh…this aging parent thing is not easy. He’d have been out digging in the garden, just days after being in intensive care, if I hadn’t practically pleaded with him to do this “Just for ME, okay, dad? Just so I don’t have to be worrying about you while I am at work? Please? PLEASE???”
Anyway…don’t feel guilty about your mom needing some convalescent care for a bit, until she is stronger. You need to do what is BEST for her, and she isn’t going to get stronger as quickly if she is worrying about the impact she is making on YOUR life if you take time off to care for her. That may come later, but I feel sure you will know when it is time.
