All I can say is I’m sorry to hear this. All my contact info is in my profile so if you need another friend, don’t hesitate.
{{{Mishell}}}
Oh, I’m so sorry for your pain, sweetie. I wish there were something I could do or say to make it go away, or just fastforward the pain so it goes quicker. But, just know that I am with you, along with all these wonderful people here that that posted to let you know you are not alone.
{{{Mishell}}}
Sweetie, I think I speak for most everyone here when I say that if you need a shoulder to cry on, we’re here.
Take care.
Wow. That sucks so bad.
(((((Mishell))))
{{{{{Mishell}}}}}
I’m so sorry to hear about this and I hope that you are getting the support you need from your other family and friends. If you need to talk, my e-mail & ICQ & AIM are in my profile. I have a lot of empathy with your situation, as my sister has done the same thing to our family, leaving her six year old daughter to live with our parents.
I am so sorry. At least you can know that you are wiser and more mature than she is… that is to say, you are already not following in her footsteps, which says a lot of postitive things about you.
Don’t let her yank you around about coming back… if she does, okay; if not, okay. It sounds like any benefits of her being in the picture are far outweighed by her negativity and insensitivity – at least until she gets her act together.
Best wishes… I hope you can feel better soon… hugs
Pink
{{{{{Mishell}}}}}
I’m very sorry about what happened. But people don’t do what we want them to. This is nothing about you, it’s about her, and her really FU’d choices. But you can’t make her into the sort of person who makes better choices, or is more considerate, or just a better person. We’d all like to change people into what we want them to be, but we can’t.
Which leaves us with the alternative: cut her off. Snip. Jettison the excess baggage. You wouldn’t take this from a friend, so don’t take it from her.
If someone just hasn’t got the decency to derserve a place in your life, lose 'em.
I know it hurts right now, but it will get better.
I’m so very sorry, Mishell. You didn’t cause it, there isn’t a thing you could do to change it and it totally sucks.
Consider yourself firmly hugged. And cry all you want. You have a lot of people here to ready to lend a shoulder and pat your back while you let some of the pain out.
Veb
My father died when I was 17. Recently, (13 years later), I found out he wasn’t my biological father. He apparently split as soon as he heard he knocked up my Mom.
Loss is hard to deal with. When somebody dies, though, it’s final. In your case, Mishell, it’s got to be even harder. Once I found out there’s a man out there who is biologically my father, it became tempting, over the months, to try to find him. Especially since I have a newborn daughter, and we have no idea about one side of my family’s medical history.
In the end, I decided against it. I don’t need the extra drama of meeting the biological father. I sure as hell don’t want any baggage this meeting might carry with it.
In your case, your mother’s basically done the same thing my father did before I was born. She’s abandoned you. This will, no doubt, affect you in a deep way the rest of your life. On the other hand, you can and must grow stronger because of this. You will become more independent. And, you’ll have to deal with the fact your mother is not your mother anymore. She’s someone else, someone who once was your mother, someone who’s changed her lifestyle in a most selfish way, for whatever reason.
No matter what, stay strong.
Hey there, Mishell,
I have no real idea of what you are going through or how you feel; I can not imagine it. I hope that you have supportive friends and family. My best wishes to you.
Tibs.
Mishell,
Your flint hearted mother is obviously very twisted. To ignore your sorrow and ask for online jokes as you are weeping is just plain sick.
You must avoid blaming yourself for any of this. It will not make the void in your heart go away but you must not let this affect how you think of yourself. Any parent who is capable of abandoning their own child has serious personality defects and needs to re-examine their entire life plan.
You need to talk to some people right away. If there is a school counselor, pastor or a favorite teacher that you can confide in, do so immediately. Burdens like this were never meant to borne on your small shoulders and you must not try to carry it alone. If you can, try to talk to your father as well, he may be able to tell you things that will help to put this into perspective.
You must not feel as though you are to blame or that you can solve this problem. Adults who are capable of shirking responsibility are not logical or rational. There is no way for you to be able to guess how, why or for whatever reason you mother did this.
That she is able to remain online while talking to you already shows the her priorities are skewed. That she expects you to put up with her chatting to someone else while you need to talk to her is abusive and intolerable.
Please find someone to talk this over with. It will be one of the best ways for you to gain some insight into this horrible situation. As you can see, many people here care and wish the best for you. I’m sure that there is someone nearby to you who is willing to help the best that they can.
Check back in with us as things develope and we wiLl do our best to help.
SELF ABSORBED PARENTS SUCK!
Gosh, I’m sorry to hear that your mom has separated herself from her kids. I can offer little insight as to why someone would do this, but maybe one day you’ll understand why she chose this path and be able to forgive her. Most people act destructively out of pain. What she is running from, I don’t know. But running will neither solve her problems nor make her happy. I know that is little consolation, but I think it’s important for you to know that the laughter you heard was probably not genuine.
It does look like she managed to raise a caring, sensitive child, though.
Thanks again, everyone, for your support. I’m feeling a lot better about the whole situation, it’s not the end of the world, and we’re going to be okay. I talked to my dad last night, he’s doing fine, which is a relief. He’s who I worried about most, my sisters are pretty independent and resilient, and it’s not like any of us are children, Melissa’s 16, Samantha’s 19, and I’m 23. It’s just the thought of my dad being alone after my sisters move out just chilled me to the bone.
Anyway, it appears that after my youngest sister graduates, my dad is going to move down there to be with my mom, and he’s fine with that, he’s had 23 years to live where he wants, now I guess it’s mom’s turn, and Dad wanted to retire anyway. I’m not sure how happy I am with Dad caving in like this, but if he’s happy with the arrangement, that’s fine.
It’s been a tough couple of days, but it’s getting better. Thanks again, y’all. 
I’m glad. It says a lot that so much of your grief and fear was for your sisters and your father. In case you need to hear again what so many posters have said, you are one damned fine, strong, loving young woman. It’s hard, but try not to worry too much about your Dad. He’s lived with the situation for a long time and maybe found his separate peace to deal with it.
If the opinion of strangers (who somehow aren’t strangers) counts, you’re a rather exceptional person who’s dealing with a tough situation with exceptional grace.
I’m so glad things are better, but if you need us you know where to find us. If you need anything; vent, moan, whatever, my email is in my profile or click on that little link thingy.
Veb