My mouth is a traitor

There’s this chick that i’ve known for a while. Friend of friends thing, really cool, fun, and cute. We ended up talking a lot at the party last night, and things got kind of flirty. Deffinate potential here, but lets not jump the gun maybe she’s just in a wierd mood. I go to grab another beer and get caught in a conversation for about 20 minutes. Heading back, I run into her best friend. Friend says to me with a coy smile “doesn’t [chick] look hot tonight?” “She doesn’t have a boyfriend right now, have you ever considered her?”

Kind of 4th gradeish, but as pathetic as I have been lately I’ll use any crutch I can.

My brain says" She’s fun, smart, we always have a great conversation, and she loves hockey. Hell yes"

My eyes say “She is very cute and does look particularly hot tonight”

My stomach says “she is like a gourmet cook or something”

My penis says" Girl? cute? Possible boobie contact? possible sex? yes yes yes YES YESSSSSSSSS!"

After gathering all of this infomation instantaneously the actual words that come out of my mouth are

“I’m not really interested in a relationship right now”

WTF? Where did that come from. That is a really bad way of phrasing “Yes”

Me and her (the friend) are both in total surprise with my answer nd just kind of look at each other. The disaster recovery portion of my brain(which has plenty of experience with stupid things coming out of my mouth) jumps into action and says “Wait! With the proper application of a ‘but’ phrase there will be no damage done’” So I formulate a phrase like “but she is really cool and I have a great time with her”. I attempt to have my mouth deliver this phrase but once again it betrays me and refuses to vocalize much of anything at all. After about ten seconds of vague hand gesturing I finally deliever the Casanova like phrase “But…ya know … Ya know what I mean?”

Christ, the older I get The more socially inept and geeky I become. I expect soon I will just start giggling like an idiot anytime I am in the presence of a girl.

What the heck happened? Why did you say something completely opposite of what you meant to say? Maybe you should write down some phrases and practice them; “Yes, you are attractive, and I would like to date you.”
“Yes, your friend is attractive, and I would like to date her.”
“Yes, I would like to have sex now. Please remove your clothes.”

I think you should drink more beer at parties. :smiley:

Yeah, it certainly seems to have an effect on you. :smiley: :wink:

Call her up and tell her she’s got you so flummoxed* that you said the opposite of what you meant.

*pick your own word: that’s the only one I could think of that seems to fit the situation.