I totally sympathize and could have warned you off. We went to some sing-along thing when we first got here. Root beer floats, and some local yokels (a trio) telling lame-ass jokes and playing songs my mother may have liked. The building manager, who is a bit manic, was trying to goad people into singing along. It was just too bizarre and I avoid those things religiously now. I still listen to rock music on the car radio, y’know? Birthday parties? Just nope. I saw a 100-year-old woman doddering around with a glittery “100” tiara on her head.
We don’t eat in the dining room, other than the occasional biscuits and gravy on Sunday, and have identified most of the people to avoid. I have to admit that the person we dealt with on the phone when we were planning all this tried to warn us that we sounded too young for this place. And I truly sympathize with your yearning for your home and yard. But this is where we are for now and things can always change, as they have many times in the past. I thought our home in Anchorage would be our last residence, and that was two moves ago.
Give it a year and see if you feel better about things.