When I was younger I use to wear a dickie and carry a muff.
I have no designs on Eve’s muff, seasonal or otherwise.
I have no idea whether Eve has designs on her own muff.
Certainly not! 
I happen to have one that I regularly parade down Main Street, to the envious admiration of passers-by.
I was always vaguely regretful that they went so sadly out-of-fashion, but attempting to bring them back in has demonstrated part of the problem.
It is very nearly impossible to refer to it in the possessive sense, or in any way atall, atall, without smirking.
But I still want one of the big lynx fur ones…
You’re out in the cold and the snow showing off your muff?
Be safe and wear your rubbers!
I’m kinda partial to the muffs you wear on your ears. Don’t have a clue as to who invented 'em but you gotta like the way the guy thought.
“My ears are cold.”
“Well, put a muff on them.”
“Hey . . . great idea!”
do your hands get sweaty and clammy from being in your muff for too long?
Happens to be I do know who invented earmuffs.
Earmuffs were invented by a man named Chester Greenwood. He was a native of Farmington, Maine, the next town over from where I grew up. Every year we’d have Chester Greenwood Day. We would get the day off school and they’d have a parade, the highlight of which was a schoolbus with earmuffs on it. Og bless my small town childhood.
BTW, this thread is cracking me up!
A lady named Eve once had a beautiful muff,
In which she would keep in it a variety of stuff.
From pearls to lorgnettes,
To the occasional baguettes,
Why, she’s even been known to carry snuff. 
I’ve heard this is true for about ten percent of the male population. Queer how that works out.
When I was younger, my muff was white and furry-and I had a matching hat.
The curtains matched the carpet, eh?
Chester Greenwood Info:
Thank you Chester!
the furry white muff was part of an ensemble. there was a white furry coat and white furry bonnet, all three were worn to church in winter. mostly on weekends.
the muff outlived the coat and hat.
seems like guinastasia had a sim. ens.
Well, I’ll have to add this to my agenda the next time I visit New York
Wear proper Victorian attire. Stand under Eve’s window holding a silver serving platter bearing sauerkraut and kosher knockwurst. ‘Madame, if you would only sample my weiner, it would make us both ever so happy!’
I’ve been slapped a number of times for just trying such a maneuver. :o
You can find muffs on ebay ??? :eek:
I’ve been trying to get my hands on a muff using a whole bunch of other websites and never even thought of ebay. :smack:
Thanks terrorcota!
As did the OP, oddly enough!
Please tell me you didn’t plan for that to rhyme.
I remember reading a story once, wherein a girl kept hot nuts in her muff.
I’d not planned on changing my username but dammit if Beta Muff isn’t simply the screaming nuts.
Of course, you couldn’t use them anymore after the VHS earmuffs came out in 1885.
(By the way, FriarTed, touché!)