Women, don’t ever let a man stick a popsicle in your muff either! 
Such salty language, people!
Traditionally, one goes from a plain muff to one with fur as they age. Strange planning that you only used your muff on weekends, though.
Muff diving? It’s not so bad. But when you do it in the snow, you better have some rubbers with you, just in case things get too wet.
But did any of them dive for it?
Is it beaver?
When I was a small girl I wanted a white muff but, my mom said I wasn’t old enough. Won’t be long now though.
I acquired a muff a while back. It’s BRIGHT RED!!!
(Is that bad?)
I red muff is a sign of ill breeding.
Eh, I’ve never really understood the appeal of muffs. I can appreciate a nice dickie, though.
And Eve, letting people stroke your muff is your own business. But encouraging them to talk about it? I mean, really!
A muff in the buff is a terrible thing to waste.
A bright red muff, although somewhat rare, is most excellent. In fact, I love to bury my face the furry goodness of a warm red muff. 
All this talk about muffs is making me hungry. Anyone else feel like eating at the Y? I’m going down that way.
Would it be rude, crude, socially unacceptable, and/or uncouth for me to say I’d like jam my rock hard co…
uhh scratch that… nevermind, I’m sorry.
Okaybear pushes her eyes back into their sockets and resumes gigglefit
I used to have a Girl’s Own magazine annual edition from the late 19th century. How I loved looking at the engravings of all the girls skating around with their hands tucked in their muffs. So sweet and Victorian.
Or a tendency for sadomasochisim.
My Muff is the Talk of New York
Aww, quit yer braggin’!
My OB-GYN used to drive a bright red volvo. Am I the onluy one who thinks that’s wierd?
Gee, I was shopping on ebay just last week for a fur muff! I was hoping to find something in a nice auburn with nice glossy fur. Maybe something I could take out in the evenings.
I hardly think Eve the type to fist her muff. I would assume she has her hands placed neatly inside it, flat against each other.
Eve, where did you get your muff? Was it a gift, or was it something you’ve had for as long as you can remember?
It was inherited. So, umm, technically, I was walking around with my hands in my mother’s muff.