I’ve turned my closet inside out.
I’ve shimmied under the bed.
I’ve interrogated the grand wrex and pets.
I’ve looked, at great danger, in the beams.
Let me tell you about this shoe. (@VOW, you’ll like this)
They are ‘yes we vibe’ brand aqua slippers. They feel like you’re walking barefoot and you can wear them inside or out. Seem really durable.
I only ordered them because of their BOGO event.
And…the patterns on these shoes are sooooo cute. Modern hippie style.
I’ve been wearing one pair. I decided they needed washing. I threw them in with towels. And went to get the other pair.
Only one shoe was in my closet. I know there were two.
There’s this problem in and around my house. We built on some kinda enchanted or cursed indian burial mound. I guess. There’s a huge black hole, underneath.
Things get sucked in to never appear again.
I’m surprised it ain’t pulled me in.
So far I’ve lost:
My expensive drafting pen I stole from Mid-daugter is in there. Socks. Dog toys. Ray bans I found on a bench at Bass pro shop. The lil’wrekkers pricy mascara I was borrowing. Books. Reading glasses. Countless scissors and screwdrivers.
Heck I may have more grandkids. Some may have disappeared in to the abyss.
I want my shoe.
I bribed the grandwrex to search. So they are looking.
I certainly hope we don’t lose any kids.
So …the search is still on. The kids have moved out of doors. Which is not possible. But, it’s ok. I needed a nap.
In my perfect world my shoes would never get lost. Or my cel phone(s).
I got too many things to keep up with. My pea brain cannot handle it all. I make notes and lists. No matter. I’m doomed to spend my wanning years searching for crap I lost.
To put a cap on this process I ordered a new pair. Hey, hush! I wanted this color more better.
And…and…I get a free pair.
Oh crap! Now I’ll have 3…1/2 prs.
I’m ridiculous.
The shoes are great tho’. So there’s that.
Oldest granddaughter wants to know if I’ll order her some.
I actually perform a full Summoning of lost objects as in “Reading glasses of Art. READING GLASSES OF ART! I do summon, stir, and call you up, O Reading Glasses of Art… show thyself! Reveal thyself!” Speaking the words aloud pokes the brain harder than saying them to yourself. Probably because I’m so embarrassed at actually doing it out loud, even by myself.
Afterwards I always thank the object for answering my call.
Does not work for objects that are truly gone. Object must exist on the premises. It will not bring back stole items, for example, or hats that fell out of the car at the grocery store.